8 Roasting Hades for $3 paid by XuXu

Hades was an ordinary handsome anime protagonist-like man who thought that the world loves him for his existence. His motto was, "For my love, I will kill gods and devils. For my love, I would change the laws of heaven. For my love, I shall conquer all odds." Yes, Hades was a man who never outgrew eighth-grade syndrome.

Yet, in his mind, he was the coolest man to exist where men and women alike fell before his feet. The only thing sane about him was the cat he adopted from the streets. His cat was the finest of breeds and accepted only the souls of lowly hoomans. He called himself Catto and was secretly a demon who bewitched dumb people with his feline charms. His owner was simply too blind to notice that and the only reason why Catto refused to eat his soul was because it tasted too awful. Catto didn't like the taste of delusional.

Hades' modus operandi consisted of flirting with his victims on the street using his good look and a practised k-pop oppa wink before inviting them into his car. Once in the car, Catto strikes as Hades drives off with the body to be disposed at a local KFC simply because that was where his ex-lover dumped him.

Witnesses have claimed that Hades can sometimes be seen flirting with homeless gay men and feeding them parts of his victim's body behind the KFC establishment and inviting them inside his car for lord knows what else. However, the private investigator swore upon his honour that he had never seen any special service look more foul. Hades was never a straight man. No wonder he was dumped by his ex-girlfriend.

Actually, that's not the main reason why Hades sucks. The main reason he sucks is because he forgets to exist in the right moment and just generally has a terrible sense of humour. A very good example of why Hades didn't win the best boi award was because he called the world's most beloved author - Destiny Aitsuji - short for not successfully entering the 5ft club in height.

This shows that Hades is the meanest person to ever exist because he isn't just sexist and racist, he judges people based on height and will not stop picking on them virtually whenever he sees them. The fact that Hades also likes to send kissing, hugging and patting gifs to the loli senpai is proof that the FBI should have captured him a long time ago. This closet pedo is a loli lover who uses all those murder victims to cover-up for his true passion.

Note to everyone who sees Hades in future, he has no reputation left for his good name. Just give him a judging look and quickly walk the other way. Hades doesn't deserve any of your attention, I do. And so does my good XuXu who donated my $3 on Twitch to roast him any way I deem fit.

There you go, I hope this was worth the money spent!