1 1: Born of death

Not very many are born of death, it creates a special mark onto a person's soul. I have this mark not once over but twice, I was born with death in my waiting room. Death took my soul back and forth between the next world and this one, creating in me a special gift a gift which haunts me and protects me. I died several times in the beginning mainly because I was born too soon, my body was too frail to survive. Born of death does not simply mean dying and coming back after birth, it means I was not meant to live but chosen to come back for a secret purpose a purpose only known by death himself.

Some people mistake the mark of BOD as a regular birthmark making it hard to detect. those of us cursed with it see it like a dark beacon calling us towards a fate we never got to choose. calling us to our destiny which is my name (of course), a cruel irony Destiny has a destiny. I dont remember dying but my dreams show me how real it is. I get flooded with my mothers memories the sound of the my heart monitor flatlining in the NICU, I disregard these things tell myself I am merely filling in the blanks. I hope I'm right...

part of my curse is to always feel close to those who are going to die soon, even the dying seem drawn to me. The witches of earth say it is a gift of an empath to have complete strangers comfortable enough to spill everything about themselves to me, a gift to look into a persons eyes and know them. I supposed I must be one of these "empaths". I was taught the energy techniques of the witches empath things from my mother over the years as my "gift" continued to torture me.

I used to hide it so well as a kid even after my great change. I told my brother and parents many things about my change and the abilities I have gained from that change, but I always kept my deeper gifts to myself, knowing they were more than normal humans could handle. My mom knew I could read minds and would often tell me things in her head so others would not know. She would test me to see if it was real, I would get punished sometimes for knowing and reading "the wrong things" as if I could help my curse they gave me. I hated feeling so weird people could not trick me could not hide things from me and could not pretend to be who they weren't, so I always knew when someone was uncomfortable with me or who disliked me and even those who; over the years grew like my mother, to truly hate me.

No friendship lasts with me part of my other world curses, like a teacher always knowing what others need and who the were even when they had no clue.

The mark of BOD changes how a person sees and connects to the world around them, I feel the souls and life of everything and everyone around me. One of my favorite entities is the moon, not sentient but alive filled with energy and she affects the whole world all of the time, many dont know the moon manages the tides and flows of the earth, I dont any others who can actually feel her pressure change the air. The oceans of this world are alive and they whisper the secrets of their depths in every wave. stones collect the life of the world around them being of the world itself they are monologues of the energy and life which surrounds us all they are wonderful not alive themselves but shells (like me) holding that which is pushed into them. The ancients used to attribute spirit forces to the winds a very valid belief that has been long forgotten in this modern age. I always want these unloving forces to connect more, always wanted to teach them of the natures in the world which differed from them, maybe because I want someone else to understand my differing nature. Maybe if the rock can love the water even when it is different and the water could love the rock, maybe a normal human could love me and I could fall in love with them as well.

I learned early on the only thing I add to a relationship is to teach people of the world and themselves, and the only thing I get out of it is a temporary lie that I am not completely alone in this world. I wish I knew others with the mark of BOD wish I had a whole family of others blessed with the curses of the great change, but my desperate Hope's have never been met with anything but an empty void of perpetual loneliness. I wander all over this earth place hoping to meet some like myself yet nobody matches. I hate myself for even getting upset by this emptiness hate myself for the weakness I know brings me no reward. My thousands of tears and hundreds of failed attempts at normalcy, I wish I could just accept who I am in this wretched place accept my own destiny. maybe someday the mark of BOD won't be a reminder blemishing my pale skin, a pallor which can never hold a tan. must everything close to me constantly wither away like unwanted plants? there is selfish comfort I allow myself, thinking as I watch the skies that somewhere there are others as cursed as I am with these blessings and changes, others with the same Mark's as I have.