1 how it started..

it all started this summer suppost to be the best year ever I'm turning 13 6th grade was so amazing I loved it but little did I know alot was happening. so I had a huge crush on this boy my friend at the time chance reatherford he was so amazing in my opinion we talked every day that summer! I thought everything was perfect so after a few months his birthday July 21st, Yes I still remember we talked all night like everynight. I stayed up till around 5 am we talked for days and never stopped exept the time we went to sleep but I keep my phone on so I got a notification as soon as he woke up. Then he told me he liked me back one day and I was so exited and we got together. (July 26th 5 47 am) so we talked and talked but then he texted less and less over time. About a month in he got well perverted and he asked for pics one day I said no. He threatend to not talk to me for the rest of the day and I said no and yelled at him then he said he was kidding then we started talking not much tho we only talked for an hour or two but...he talked to his other friends alot for hours. (they were girls ofc) Then I got sad, very sad out of no where. I watched some videos I've never seen or heard of any of my friends cutting, They never felt like this before so I tried to talk to them but it didnt work cuz no one got what I was feeling! I started to cut

I told chance about it....I wanted to die at the time I'm not ready to talk about my home problems quite yet but they were bad. that's later in the story when I'm more comfortable. We were on a call we were talking then he hung up it was on snap chat so he was active for about an hour after but I had his pass, I've never even thought about signing into his account but I was so curious ik it's bad but I signed in. He was talking to his friend lilly and I had no problem with it but he said Claire's probably dead i give up(I'm claire) and they were talking for more then an hour. He tried to lie his way out of it. Ofc I forgave him cuz I'm a stupid little 6th grader thinking its love so I was depressed not to bad I kinda ignored it and didnt talk about it much then. One day till school I was not exited cuz chance no longer went to my school, So I stayed up all night but then I checked the time it was 6 am! my alarm went off and I was on a call with chance! all night and I didnt care I slept threw the whole school day and most my friends didnt have a phone. Most of them moved and it was really hard my best friend moved. Alot of them did so I had about 2 friends when I had alot in 6th grade and I decided it's okay I'll make new friends. Well I didnt make much a few weeks past and no friends I actuly lost one so I had one and he was my friend donny. (Donavyn cottrill) it was okay I hung out with him alot. Then he brought a bb gun to school cuz he left it at his friends house and needed it back from him. The only way to get it back is from school yeah he got caught so he was kicked out of school for 3 months. That exact day chance got grounded till summer hes still grounded to this day but he ended up cheating on me but that's another story So I was left with no one not even chance, no friends so I tried to make new. I made one dylan tomas he was tall kinda cute alot of girls liked him but I wanted to be his friend we talked we became best friends I never had feelings for him he called me short alot but I hugged him one day and people I guess dont like that? idk he told me he was sad. He pushed me down and my sleeve went up he saw the cuts. He hated me! I wondered why! I tried to talk to him and he told lies about me.