1 Melancholy

What was happening? he didn't know? How many bones got crushed? If he could count, maybe all.

Who am I?

His mind spoke? Why am I like this. A failure is his nickname, because he's known to be dead on the inside, completely lost in a cell of hatred he created himself.

He wondered what his mother would say if she finds out he tried to steal money and got in a mess? Would she cry like she used to? Pray? Roll on the floor? curse him?

He didn't know a thing. His life was a big rhetoric question and he had no solution to it.

Everyone hated him, but not as much as he hated himself. He could count how many times he tried to cut himself, drown himself, hang himself but there'd always be a voice telling him to stop or some people would play supermarkets and would try to stop him.

The world didn't need him. He knew that but now he had a chance to leave. He wanted to disappear, wake up and find himself in Valhalla, but the wicked world was like a magnet that made floating out of earth somewhat impossible.

He could never make his mama happy, his brothers saw him as a disappointment, a failure, nothing but a dropout that couldn't and never can make a good grade. He was marked to be one of those character fill ins that God drops off in earth to occupy free space.

He had problems, he wanted to fix it but he didn't know how.

He found his own happiness and love from the videos he watched, the hours he'd spend masturbating in private places and gambling which he never won.

His life was wasted. It would be best if he can just select new game and be player one, erase the present one and build a life knowing the good and bad of the world and how to manoeuvre himself into a better man.

If only he had the chance.

"JJ...Junjie...Junjie..." His eyes were still recovering from the clutches of a six months coma and everything was a blur to him.

He could hear his name from a voice so similar to milk and honey, hypnotizing like a spell, one which belonged to someone he could claim to know.

"It's me Junjie... it's me... Lee eun"

"Lee eun" He repeated after her as his vision began to clear up and stop being foggy.

"I'm so glad you're okay."

His mind was so blank. He could only think of why she'd be next to someone like him. He wondered if he was dreaming, it was too good to be his basic reality that he'd always wake up to.

He closed his eyes for a second and opened it, she was still there. He did it over and over again waiting for the moment he'd wake up.

"Stop doing that silly" She laughed expressing her emotions from her pure soul. He felt lucky to have her by his side. Her beauty alone could keep him awake forever. Her curves of softness, athletic build, emotions that couldn't be hidden from her perfectly toned face. He wondered who she really was, where she came from and what she's doing in a place like earth.

She was too good to be human, completely flawless and a god worthy enough to be worshipped.

"I've been worried ever since you've be admitted. I didn't want to lose you and I'm so happy you're finally awake."

Sharp pain lanced through his head as he tried to move. He felt the piercing pain coming from his joints and it caused some resting muscles to ache just by his little movement. It brought tears to his eyes as he forced himself to remain calm and wait for the pain to dull, no matter how long he had to wait.

Even if he had to move his broken arms, they'd still be numb and it would be impossible to sit upright at that rate.

His sadness traveled the unknowable depths of the ocean of his heart. He messed up, badly. His emotional pain preceded that of physical one, there was no way he could cover up the hospital bills.

Lee Eun could do nothing but kneel beside him and stoke his hair over and over trying to console him with a voice so sweet and pleasant to listen to but he was going to defy those odds, and ignore it.

"I love you Junjie...even when we were in highschool, I've loved you and I always will. Don't get engulfed into a life of gambling... we can make it out together. I'm sure about that" with those words of encouragement, she moved her head closer then placed a kiss on his lips. It felt so pleasant, so sweet like berries, transporting him onto a cloud of pureness and peace.

Her slim and soft fingers caressed his cheeks as their breath mingled and she could feel the beat of his heart from the closeness of their chest and the warmth spread through their whole body.

He dedicated his life to being with her for that moment of his first kiss and he was bound to each and everyone of her command.

It was unexpected and at the same time peaceful but before he could confess too, he vanished.