What Is Love?

Chapter 1

I just want to go home but here I am walking with junior high school students. to think that most of them are walking with their partners or girlfriend or boyfriend pisses me off.

I am wondering, how and why people at my age are ready or already settled down or able to find someone who can be with them while here I am. I am still thinking about what is my purpose in this life and what are the things that I can do.

"Babe? you want to eat kwek-kwek" [Filipino street food] I heard a guy ask his girlfriend.

"You're buying?" the girl asked.

"Anything for you babe" the guy said and handed her a cup of kwek-kwek.

look at this, I just want to eat something before going home but this is what I am seeing? I sigh in my mind and leave the stall after paying what I eat.

I was about to leave when I felt that my phone was vibrating. I grabbed it and answered the call.

\Good evening\

"What do you want?" I asked with an irritated voice.

\I just want to hear your voice, that's all\ he said with such a giggle.

"But I don't want to hear yours" I said and hung the phone up.

I decided to call my mom. I know she's worried since it's late.

"Ma, can you please prepare my clothes? I am tired" I said and tried my best to sound pitiful.

\Where are you now?\ she asked when I heard another voice from the background.

"Two blocks away, anyway is dad's home?" I asked.

\Yes he just got here, he also bought you a meat bun\ I am so happy that I hung up the phone and started walking like I was running.

The road is dark and only a few people are passing by so I stay alert since I don't know what can happen. Suddenly I heard footsteps becoming faster and faster every time.

"DELANEY!" I was so shocked when someone shouted and hugged me at the same time.

"WHAT THE HELL MEN?! you almost killed me!" I said and gave him a smack on his nape.

"Srry, sorry. it wasn't my intention" he said begging for his life.

"Anyways, why so late?" he said while holding his nape where I slapped him.

"Company dinner" I said and he looked at me and even sniffed me like a fucking dog.

"WHAT THE HELL?! What are you? a dog!" I said pushing him away from me.

"I really wonder how you manage to go home after your company dinner?" he asked as he continued walking.

"You know that I can handle my alcohol right?" I said without knowing that we are now in front of my house.

"Yeah yeah whatever" he said and waved goodbye to me.

I opened the door and saw a table of food.

"Change your clothes so that we can eat" mom said and handed over a pair of clothes.

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I am now in my room. laying on my bed while reading webtoon. I put down the phone and started overthinking while I ate my meat buns.

When I was in college, I was thinking that if I graduated and was able to find a job, maybe I will be able to have someone who will cherish me and I will cherish in my life. I reject anyone who wants to be with me just because I don't want a hassle in handling relationships.

I actually find it annoying that when I wake up in the morning I need to inform someone that I need to tell them what I had for lunch or if I will be busy and working overtime or letting them know other things like going out with friends. I don't want the inconvenience of going out and going somewhere especially when I want to stay home. I don't like the idea of them being too careless and too possessive but….. at the same time I don't want to be alone and them acting like they don't want me anymore.

I want someone who will push me to try new things, I want someone who will make me feel important. Someone that can be possessive and cute at the same time.

I can help but to yell on my pillows because I don't understand myself so I should not expect that others will understand me.

I want it but I don't want it at the same time. In times like this I am thinking if it would be possible to have a flirting buddy? Nah nevermind that's a lot of work.

"Dela? Azia is here" mom knocked on the door and opened it shortly after.

"Delaaaaa! Do you want to go with us?" she asked

"With who?" I asked her back.

"Maza of course," she said, rolling her eyes.

"With your boyfriend?" I asked again.

"Of course, you already know that, that guy won't let me go somewhere without him right?" she said and sat on my bed.

I pushed her out.

"Don't sit here you're dirty!" I said.

"Stop being a clean freak dumb ass! that's the reason why you don't have a boyfriend!" she said while crossing her arms on me.

"You sat somewhere and I am sure that seat is dirty!" I said and sprayed some alcohol on the place where she sat before.

"By the way, I don't know what to do if you guys are with your boyfriends" I said and left my room leading the way to the living room.

"You don't want to? But we're going to this place" she said and showed some pictures on her phone. I grabbed her phone and looked at every picture about that resort.

"And I am sure that there will be a lot of hotties in that place" she said with a smirk on her face she even sat beside me and whispered in my ears saying "don't worry we will help you find the hotties one" and grabbed her phone from me.

"Azia, here are some cookies, I know you'll be leaving already so I packed it for you" mom said and gave her the cookies.

"It's such a shame that Maza is not here to have this" she said with a giggle.

"I am leaving now, I am sure that Vito is waiting on me" Azia said and gave mom a chick-to-chick kiss.

Before leaving she looked at me again saying the words,

"Think about it" and winked at me with some smirk on her lips.

She closed the door and mom started to interrogate me.

"Why did she come here this late?" mom asked.

"Nothing, she was just asking me if I want to go with her and Maza to a resort, '' I said and turned on the television.

"So what's your decision?" mom asked.

"Honestly I wanted to go because they're both with their boyfriends so I am hesitating" I said while trying to find a channel to watch.

"I think you should go, you might me able you're the one there" mom said with a teasing voice. I glared at her and she laughed saying that she was just joking.

"You should go, lately your routine is home, work, your room, home, work repeat. You're not young anymore, you should move on, it's been years" she said and tapped my shoulders.

I sighed when I heard that.

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I can't even sleep thinking if I should be going with them or not.

"Maam Gray? There's someone looking for you, " my assistant said to me. I was wondering who it was because I am not expecting anyone and besides its working hours.

When I opened the door I immediately saw Niko Smith smiling at me which made me irritated.

"How's my lovely lady doing?" he asked, trying to hold my hands, but before he could I already put my hand behind me.

"Why you here?" I asked politely but with an irritated voice.

"You put down the phone so fast last night, I thought something happened" he said again while looking at me so deeply.

"Thanks for your concern but I am fine and doing great." I turned around facing the door and planned to open it. "You should go back to your company now, I am busy and so are you" I said and finally left.

in the middle of work my phone vibrates non stop so I answered it without looking at who it was.

\Girl you should go with us, I know you will enjoy that place\ it was Maza,

"What the hell! MAZARINE! I am currently in the middle of the job but here you are calling me just for that?!" I said without knowing and realizing that my voice is too loud this time.

\Calm down girl! okay okay, sorry" she said but without any apologetic tone on her voice.

"Anyways I don't know. I'm still considering the fact that you guys are with your boy while I am the only one who left out single" I heard her with her little laughs.

\That's fine you get along with the boy right? I know that they will not let you feel out of place\ she said with full confidence.

"Whatever" I said and hung up the phone.

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