5 Chapter four

"Then?"

He seems to realize only now of me and for a moment his eyes nail himself in mine. I don't know what I feel, I feel a thousand emotions together and at the same time none, as if I were numb, Cora didn't notice anything, but it doesn't leave my hand and I am grateful because I think I would collapse if I hadn't that look. Turn and drag me with her towards the kitchen, I see it open the refrigerator and take a bottle of strawberry vodka

"W-What do you do? Cora, going"

I tell you, I don't want to get drunk, you can't let yourself go

"I don't drunk quiet"

He offers me, shake his head while a thousand questions follow one another, why he? How do you come here?

"Belle? Belle, do you hear me?"

I pulled from my thoughts as I see you walking up the stairs

"So ... wait, D-where are you going?"

I scream trying to reach her

"Quiet I go only in the bathroom, I need to rinse my face, I'll be back right away,"

He says making me understand that he needs a few minutes alone. I move uncomfortable between the cast of people. The smell of alcohol and smoke invades my nostrils, I need some fresh air. I reach the front door, making them wide among the piled people. When I finally open the door I can breathe at full lungs ... I support the windowsill, to be so big inside, the brotherhood does not have a large space outside, about three meters of driveway and immediately the road. I am lost in my thoughts when my eyes see it. A folded leg resting on the wall, the relaxed back, the low head that only raises to exhale the smoke of the cigarette holding narrow between the index and the medium. The toned thigh muscles are wrapped from a pair of teared gray jeans on the knee. He wears a black nirvana t-shirt and over a leather nail too black like night, at the foot a couple of amphibians like mine, but much more consumed and certainly at least three more numbers of my foot. I don't know what he takes me, and I don't know why I do it, but I approach

"H-hello ..."

He just looks up, looking sufficiently

"What do you want?"

He asks with a shoulder raised, while bringing the cigarette to his mouth to pull another bucket

"Actually, I don't know ..."

I admit perhaps more to myself that to him

"W-we, we have already been unchuckled?"

I ask while I don't know if hoping to a positive response or that that day, when he found me, I was so frastrated by being confused

"No, I don't know who you are, and I would like the situation to remain so so you can also go back from your friend, I don't have time from"

I fell by him thinking he recognized me but probably not even remember who I was, nor me should

"You ... you're right ... maybe, maybe I have mistaken you for another person"

I say trying to convince me that it went like this. Looks at me, and seems to be talking about but a voice interrupts it

"Hey friend, what do you have?"

He is a tall boy and well placed to ask him, he has short black hair and two gray eyes that look like vitre. Wear the Columbia jacket so I suppose it's a student, but surely it is the third or fourth year

"What do you look for?"

Answers inexpressive my interlocutor, I put a second to understand what Stan talking and I feel the stomach twisting as you draw from the pocket of the leather jacket a sachet with a white powder and the girl to the girl, then pocketing the money. When the type goes without saying goodbye, we'll stay again.

"Drugs? Why?"

I simply ask, without thinking about why I'm interested

"Why don't you do your business and bring your nice ass away from here, instead of interesting me?"

He answers flat, I look at him extremely from his arrogance

"Well..."

I start ready to answer him when the voice of Cora interrupts me

"Ah here I finally, I looked for you everywhere ...What do you do here?"

I was shocked when he said he didn't know who I was, but I don't remember being presented tonight

"Belle, but can you know that you did with that? Drug drugs, tell me you don't even do what I think"

He asks looking at me with Apparent eyes faces I ask for hesitant

"Sure"

"What's your name?"

I then ask

"Cole, Cole Standall"

And the world stops for a moment. During the short journey from the brotherhood to the campus I rest in silence, closed in myself continuing to relive the evening. Only yesterday I was at his house his half fainted, because he had saved me. How is it possible that the same person who saved me is the same as the same as he sells the way to destroy her? I still don't capacity for what happened and I only realize now that I was probably really lucky that day because it could have been very worse. I just can't understand what to do here in New York if you live in Philadelphia

"O-okay, you didn't talk about all the journey ... what is it?"

I am transfered by my thoughts, Cora looks at me with a question waiting for an answer

"I have nothing, I'm just tired and even quite shocked, you know ...It was for a long time I didn't go to a party ... Anyway it's not important, rather how do you feel?"

I answer, I didn't completely lie. Actually it was a long time since I went to a party, the last time it was Kyle's birthday two years ago, he wanted to organize something at home, an intimate thing had said, only that he had spread the voice and in mid-evening I felt an altarily in my house from the amount of I felt the air misses and the need for a bit of tranquility, I didn't know anyone there apart from Trent, my brother's best friend, for the rest around me I saw only unknown faces and I finished so to close me in my room with a book on the legs until Kyle had spent the whole morning after the party to apologize for not involved. I still smile if I think about what I had done to do to get to be forgiven, he had taken to run in his underwear for the whole boulevard of houses of our area screaming

"I am a very bad older brother".

"But do you know that you're strange? Sometimes I would like to know what you pass to that beautiful head, you often lose yourself in yourself and I don't know ...You're like a television that hurts the signal, I don't know if it makes the idea"

Chuckles, I smile and shake my head without telling her but I don't. The other half died together with the carefree part of me, the one who felt the emotions, who felt the sensations, that part of me died in that dark alley, on that night of mid-April.

"Don't try to sprease the speech, how do you feel?"

"Eh ... I honestly don't know, but I don't want to think about it, now I just want to sleep"

Says weakly, this and everything we tell us before getting to the campus and fall asleep like stones.