6 Chapter five

"Wake up sleepyhead, we'll be late"

I murmur, shaking Cora slightly, who doesn't seem to move even an inch

"Mmh ... But is it already Monday ...?"

She mumbles with his voice thick with sleep

"Unfortunately yes, now hurry up, Professor McCain will kill you if you are late again and I am not going to cover you this time"

I giggle alluding to last week when she missed two tests because she hadn't opened a book and I had to cover her inventing that he had horse fever. I put the books in the shoulder strap and leave the room, not without having first made an appointment in the canteen for lunch.

The first hour passes quietly, I take notes and follow the lesson. I haven't socialized with anyone other than Cora and Cass, I haven't had the time between classes and studying, but that's okay, as I said I don't like surrounding myself with people. I leave the humanities classroom headed for the canteen, when I am joined by a boy. He is about ten centimeters taller than me, broad shoulders and muscular arms suggest the physique of a lacrosse player

"Hey ... You must be new here, I noticed you in class, but I don't think I've ever met you before"

I turn my gaze towards him a little frightened as I pause to look him in the face, he has ash blonde hair, shaved at the nape of his neck that then stretches into a tuft that touches his light blue eyes, of a blue tending to green. Her thin lips are parted in a smile that showcases perfect white teeth, hints of an embarrassed smile in response and hers, impossible as it seems, widens even more as she continues.

"Well here ... I noticed that you are always very careful during the humanities lessons and I, here ... I'm not very good at this let's say ..."

I raise an eyebrow already knowing where he wants to go, but only out of curiosity I ask

"Excuse the question, but if that's not your forte ... Why are you taking this course? We are at the beginning, you can still change"

His smile becomes embarrassed as he awkwardly scratches the back of his neck

"Well ... Well it's my father who wants me to take this course, he's obsessed with psychology and the humanities, things like that, you know? Unfortunately I'm not of the same idea, but what are you going to do about it? choice"

He chuckles in embarrassment, but this time the smile does not reach his eyes which, instead, seem sad and defeated

"So you would like a hand to recover, am I right?"

I ask perhaps driven by what I read in those eyes that seem so similar to mine

"Yes well, if that's not a problem for you, of course"

I smile and I don't know why, but I feel that I can trust this guy, it's certainly paradoxical since I've known him for less than five minutes, but it's a sensation on the skin, and maybe that's why I answer

"No, no problem, we can meet in the library tomorrow ... Can you go at four?"

I propose, he nods gratefully

"It's perfect, thank you very much ..."

"Isabelle, Isabelle Smith"

I realize I haven't even introduced myself

"Nice to meet you Isabelle Smith, I'm Montgomery Peterson, but call me Monty please, my full name makes me feel old"

He laughs and I join him infected by his laughter. His cell phone beeps, Monty reads the message and with a kind look he greets me apologizing

"Well Belle, can I call you that? It was a pleasure to meet you, now sorry but I have to escape, see you tomorrow at four then?"

"Sure, see you tomorrow"

He smiles at me waving his hand and then runs away. I look at my watch and realize that I am already a quarter of an hour late, so I hurry to join the others in the canteen.

"It took you a while, but where were you?"

Cora immediately asks

"Sorry but I had a setback for a" study agreement " "

Cass tilts her head towards me, frowning visibly confused

"Study agreement? What kind?"

I chuckle as I tell him about the brief meeting with Monty that took place shortly before in the humanities classroom.

"Ah yes, Montgomery Peterson, he's a crazy cool guy, I personally would do it instantly ... Even if I don't understand why he's always on the sidelines, that boy other than some friends on the Lacrosse team, hasn't nobody"

Gossip Cass confirming my insights into that boy's sport. While Cora adds spicy details that she has heard about her, I stay and listen to them for a while, breaking a piece of bread on the plate. I'm about to retort to the umpteenth joke that Cora made about the fact that I should take advantage of tomorrow's release to see if the rumors are true or not, when my eyes notice it, the words die in my throat, I feel the mouth to fill with gravel again. The hood of the black sweatshirt pulled over his head, his hands in his pockets, his eyes rise to meet mine, it is a moment, then they are kidnapped again by the ground his boots are trampling. Cora who had probably noticed my gaze turns in the same direction as me

"Belle I already told you to get it out of your mind, trust me, Cole is nothing but trouble"

I look down embarrassed at being caught out

"I wasn't looking at him, I was just ..."

"Of course not, you can see a mile away that you were drooling"

It provokes me

"W-what ... No, no I wasn't ... I don't care that kind of guy"

I don't know why I can't find the words, it's probably because that boy is all I should run away from

"Well I don't find anything wrong with it, come on Cora, look at him, who wouldn't drool for someone like that ...?"

Cass dreamily admits

"Cass, you don't understand, it's not the appearance that is the problem, it's the content. And believe me, Cole is ... Okay, you can compare it to a black hole that you can't climb from."

I shudder at that disturbing metaphor, but I don't know if the chills are really due to Cora's words or to her penetrating gaze that has plunged back into mine. I shake my head to keep thoughts from taking hold of me as I bring the glass to my lips

"Anyway, Cora still haven't explained what happened next with Mike."

I ask after swallowing, trying to drop the topic "Cole Standall" with the hope of never reopening it.

"Well in the end we more or less clarified, as I was going to the bathroom last night at the party, he intercepted me and explained that he had made a mistake, he didn't know what was wrong with him, he promised it would never happen again and I remembered how important I am to him "

He stops for a second to catch his breath and eat a forkful of spaghetti with tomato sauce

"And what did you answer him? I hope he didn't forgive him like that, with his eyes closed"

She presses on Cass, her curiosity always gets the better of her, she often speaks before she even thinks and I do not hide the fact that this sometimes causes many problems, the numerous foolish things she has made in recent months are proof of this, all due to of his impulsiveness. I admit that I'd like to be like her a little bit, she seizes the moment, she doesn't let the opportunities slip away. On the contrary, I think too much and I make a thousand paranoia about before and after about everything I say or do and this, often in my life has led me to miss numerous opportunities.

"No, in fact I told him that I wanted to believe him with all of myself and that I still loved him, but that I needed time"

Cora concludes, proud of herself for being able to keep a hothead like Mike at bay. I try to stay involved in the speech, but Cole does not stop staring at me with that look that I feel brushing my skin

"Sorry I'm going to the bathroom for a moment"

I say getting up feeling the need to erase that deep look of hers from my head. I can feel it burning my back even as I make my way to the girls' bathroom, adjacent to the boys' bathroom.

I lean back against the door and after a couple of deep breaths I go to rinse my face and wrists. My head is spinning a little, you ate too little even today. That annoying little voice in my head scolds me, yes yes, tonight I'll eat more. I repeat myself trying to convince even myself.

One. Two. Inside. Out. Inside. Out. I force myself to take long breaths, praying that the room will stop spinning as soon as possible, then I bend down putting my head between my legs, hoping that the blood will flow more quickly to the brain. After what seems like five minutes the room finally stops spinning and with it I can see well again. I leave the bathroom with a smile on my face, a smile that goes out instantly as soon as my gaze meets hers

"W-what, what are you doing here?"

I stammer to find Cole in front of me, his body towers over me, I didn't realize how tall he was, he's practically a "closet" and I feel like a garden gnome in comparison

"I have to piss, it seems obvious to me, doesn't it?"

He responds rudely by raising his left eyebrow with obviousness

"Y-yes, yes I understood that ... I meant what are you doing at school" I reply resentfully hating myself for being stammering in front of him

"I frequent her"

It's amazing how you don't even remotely resemble the guy who helped me

"Why did you pretend you didn't know me?"

I spit it out before I think about it too much and lose my nerve

"And why do you keep asking too many questions? See you later"

He passes me as he enters the bathroom, our shoulders touch, I feel the body crossed by a thousand chills and for a moment the world seems to stop.

For three years now I hadn't felt anything, or so I thought until his shoulder touched me.