My daily life before tragedy

In my childhood days, i used to be called "robot".

I loved sitting in the back and talk less, something which my friends assumed.

Even tho i never talked with strangers that much, surprisingly i made few good friends.

I don't talk much with strangers, not because i didn't like talking, but don't have anything to process in my introvert brain and say it.

When it comes to people that's close to me, i talk alot, like aloot.

That's way before the tragedy that is about to begin.

Most of my classmates saw me as a weirdo, for not being so social.

Some even tried to bully me.

Luckily few friends that i made were very loyal to me.

We used to hang out all the time, playing football and cricket on weekends.

I was in class 3 at the time. One day i got lost in my imagination world. I started to think about death....death!

I started to get depression at the age of 7.

I asked myself, what will happen after my beloved parents died? What will happen to me? Will i ever see them again? My hearts becoming heavy, tears started to fall down.

I couldn't get rid of my depression.

Nexy day, i went to school as usual. Doing my usual stuff, then suddenly i started to cry, thinking about the same thing.

One of my friend noticed it immediately and asked,

• Is your health not Alright? You should go home, i will talk with our teacher.

• "No i am fine parvej (my friend)", i replied.

Next parvej informed some other friends of mine, and forced me to go home.

It took me few years to get rid of that childhood trauma i had.

One day, i returned from school and saw nobody at home.

They forgot to leave the keys to neighbours, so i couldn't enter my home.

I sit infront our house for half an hour.

After a while, i started to heard whispers Between two neighbours.

• Hey, look at that boy. Isn't he the son of jahanara? He looks so black, his skin is so dark. How is this possible?

• Yea, he looks strange to me too. Both his parents are bright skinner, is he adopted?

That was the conversation they were having. I could definitely hear them fine, but i acted like i didn't hear them.

Even tho i acted as if i didn't care, my heart was crying out loud.

That was the very first time i faced racism.

When i was 6, i had a serious injury. Not caused by an accident, but a fight.

At my home town when there is a load shedding, every kids from every houses used to come out.

We had groups, we used to play different kinds of games on roads.

One night, a load shedding occurred. I went out and looked for my friends but couldn't find anyone.

So i decided to return home. While i was on my way, few kids that i barely know started to say mean things.

• Look at that ugly haired shit

• Ah, he looks poor

• Look at him, looks dirty

I looked at them, and approached them with an angry face.

One of them seems to know me, he told others to stop and told them that i had a big brother.

All of them stopped and said "we weren't talking about you", except one.

One of them who talked shit the most got up and approach me and said "what the hell you want? Wanna get your ass kicked?

I got so mad at him that, i wasted no time and directly punched him in the face with all my might.

Other kids decides to not get involved.

That boy gets up and we start a serious fight.

At the end of our fight, he threw me away to a tree, i had a severe injury. I got mad and threw a rock at him, which made a serious injury to him too.

Some adults noticed and immediately came to the rescue.

I never got Bullied by those boys, ever again.

That was my lifes very first big incident.

My primary school days are the most memorable ones.

When i got into class 5, i saw a girl,whom became my very first crush.

She was gorgeous and whenever i saw her, i could feel my heart has frozen.

My school had 3 classes of 5th grade, i was in group 1, she was in 3. So i can't call her my classmate.

One of my friend used to be a close friend of that girl, she's called onni.

One day, when we friends were hanging out. We started to have conversations like, "hey lets tell each others crush name".

Since i am way to shy to share information such as these. I didn't say anything.

But that friend of my somehow figured out that i had a crush on onni.

My friends tried their best to hook me up with her, but i didn't wanna.

It's not like i don't wanted to go on a relationship, It's just that i was shy.

I wasn't happy with how i looked, how i talked and how i dressed.

So i wasn't confident at all, and thought i would get rejected anyway.

The last time i saw onni was at primary school farewell party.

My primary school days were over, i got into a new school to start my high school days afterwards.

High school is the place where i saw something that i wasn't supposed to see.

I still terrified of that day, when i saw one of my friend getting killed by a teacher.

Thats when i got involved in this tragedy.