Floating

I didn't see Karl nor the girls. I wouldn't have recognized the girls even if I tried too. I didn't recognize Karl's father when he shaved some years ago. I only knew it was him because I was at his house and he was talking to his son. Otherwise? I would have no idea who the fuck he was. I wish I really didn't.

I can find a girl attractive and hot, and hours later have no idea what is the color of her eyes, or sometimes her hair. And I had been guilty of not recognizing them later in the streets. I blame my brain. To get something we need to lose another, right? Everything is like that in life, even in death.

My perception of time was a little bit off, but I think I floated there for a long time, at least it seemed like a long time. It's hard to grasp the sense of time when everyone is dancing the same moves to the same music and doing exactly the same thing.

I just suddenly realized a moment later that there was nobody in the club anymore. In one moment they were there, in another, none whatsoever. As if waking up of a dream I started to look for something to break that silence. I found nothing. It was as if nobody has ever gone to that place. Spooky, right? How can lots of people disappear out of nowhere?

Well, it doesn't matter. It became quiet. I do enjoy quietness. Sometimes people make too much noise over nothing.

It was in that moment of quietness that something happened. I was so scared that I almost died. Again.

In a dark corner of the club, where light almost never reaches, you could faintly see if you looked well enough. Do you know when you look at something but only at the corner of your eye? It happened when I was doing just that. There was something strange about that corner, but when I looked head on I saw nothing. Only when my eyes left that direction that an uneasiness began to grow onto me. It was almost like there was someone whispering in my ears "do not look," but I didn't know why.

Somehow I needed to look and know. I always want to know and discover things.

I started to look at that corner with the corner of my eye. I saw something move and the darkness becomes darker and colder. I shivered all over my body but I looked. What was that?

It was only a moment later that I saw something shine and disappear. Something metallic and long, and high in the air. In that little dark corner.

When I realized what IT was, it was looking at me. Or at least I judge it was because of what I felt.

Death, the Reaper, was looking straight at me. And now it was moving. Not toward my floating body in the air that hadn't moved an inch in the past... hours? It was moving toward the stairs.

"Oh shit! My fucking body!"

I willed myself to float upwards. Through the roofs to that desolated familiar rooftop, I saw only once. I saw myself, cold blue and dyed red in the floor.

I didn't know what to do. The last couple of times it happened I didn't do a thing to live again. At first, I didn't remember even that I died, only later, much later. And the second time the doctors were there. Now I was alone, no one to help. No crying Karl to the rescue.

I tried as in those silly movies. Jump back to myself head on. Nothing. I tried to slap my translucent cheeks. I even begged to the fucking God. And nothing. I was still dead on the floor. And death was near, really near.

And I really mean near when I do say it. It just passed that rooftop door. I don't know why the reaper is so dramatic with the entrance. But I guess me looking at him just made him aware of me. It doesn't explain why he is slow. But who am I to complain of the slowness of death, figuratively or literary?

For some tens of seconds more, I tried to get back to my body with no success. Only after failure after failure that I realize a piece of information that seemed strange.

Where were all the people? People just don't disappear, that would be too good to be true. But nevertheless, where were they? In the world I lived people were always there and death could never be seen, but now? Just the opposite.

In conclusion? This can't be my world. It must be a world hidden within my world, beneath all those layers. An underworld.

With this sudden realization, it just clicked and I woke up from my dead body. Just like when you realize you are dreaming and wake up. I felt dead but I sit up pretty quickly, scanning my surroundings. Trying to probe for anything out of ordinary.

Despite my cold body and my pounding head, nothing. I got my phone to see the time, 11 AM. Not even midnight. I must have been there for just a few minutes that felt for an eternity.

When you are dreaming strange things seems normal, only after waking up things sound weird. We are quick to accept things in our dreams. So it happened in the underworld, as I shall call it.

Nothing was really clear in that world, but I only realized that after comparing to the real world. There was a constant level of uneasiness in that world, while this one? Just lonely and harmless.

"That's so strange," I softly murmured to myself.

The first thing I did was go to the bathroom to wash my head. There was no cut only blood. No mark of ever anything happening to me. "Am I immortal?" I naively and wrongly wondered. Youth, silly youth. There are so many worst things than death.

I messaged Karl and we met a couple of minutes later. He never noticed my absence. I looked fine and alive. But was I truly? In the real sense of the word?

I just knew that I need to see again that world, the underworld. A nagging feeling that never stopped. A scratch that I could never scratch.

It was illogical but so was jumping from a hight place. The drive to jump is strong. The eagerness to explore and discover it's just so much.

I need to die again. But this time, I needed to do it right. I needed to do it my WAY!