3 Two.

(TW: Violence. Viewer discretion is advised.)

The first winter was a tough one: I froze and thawed and froze more than someone trying to decide wether to consume the meat they'd hoarded or save it for a later month. The winter turned everything colder and made it all bitterer. The few hours alone at first were agonising: My eyes filled with tears, I stomped along the tree line, caring less and less about the thought of reality and more and more about the fantasies I'd already indulged in.

'I'll kill him. I'll rip him apart. I'll tear him from limb to limb. I'll gouge his chest out, display his organs, harvest his skin, I'll-'

I stumbled over a tree root, falling into a thin layer of snow I'd already hit, sending me face first into it. I remember knocking my head on a stump and being dazed for what felt like an eternity as I simply laid there trying to get my head around everything that had happened. The whirlwind that was my mind melded reality and subconscious: one moment I was stumbling through the quickly thickening blizzard that tore at the already beaten down path, another I had my attackers skull in my hands and was crushing it, gleeful fury drowning out his screams of pure torture. Each footstep left both a trail of gloriously fresh and clean snow, covering the damaged land. Yet I blinked, and every step I took left a footprint of strangely tinged blood that seemed to splatter with an outrageously loud splat. Occasionally I'd actually stop and take in the steps, making sure my mind wasn't completely gone to me. The rest of it is a blur: wild footsteps, figures in the trees, my moments of wild insanity broken only by the shimmering glimmer of the knife as I continually examined it, trying almost to distract myself from myself. The blade seemed to beckon me to use it, to take myself out, to give in to the satisfaction of a clean and quick death rather than frostbite and starvation. Each time my eyes glossed over it, my determination hesitated, forcing my brain ever closer to the easy way out.

I don't remember how, but I woke up with an extreme thirst for water, face first in the snow. I couldn't feel the cold, so in my moment of solitude I dwelled on what the hell I would do next. The sounds of the wilderness were gone and dead as I thought of how the hell I, with no experience, would even begin to survive.

'Think. Think. Think. Laying in this now isn't going to help you, get out.'

As I began to move my arms, the sound of footsteps cut through the sharp quiet the snow gifted me. I froze, gently dipping my head up to allow for both light and breath whilst also shrouding my body in the camouflage.

'I guess falling asleep in snow does have its advantages.'

The trees seemed the same, only ending in a clearing I had found myself in. The circle the clearing provided seemed too perfect, as if carved out by human hands, yet no stump lingered. The age of the woods was shown as branches weaved together, the tapestry of traps allowing little movement between them. Trying to blink the stillness from my eyes, I caught sight of a short movement coming from the right side of me. Not daring to turn my head quickly, I very slowly craned my neck to said direction, attempting to keep the snow on the top of my head still and safe. My vision was clear, and just as I'd managed to adjust to whatever may appear, something smashed through the trees before stopping in the clearing.

My father had told me these were named 'Deer' by us years ago, powerful legs and sharp senses aiding their life expectancy in the Dead Zone. Four irregular dots inked its way across its back, splotches of change on its almost perfect fur. The eyes, alerted and scared, scoured across the woods. Almost as our eyes locked, it looked back, legs springing into an alerted phase, ready to run as soon as it needed to. It's ears raised, detecting even the smallest sounds. I took a shallow breath, waiting for what would happen, left hand somehow finding the knife and holding it tight enough to strangle it. It edged closer to me, legs moving slowly to avoid all unnecessary noise.

'For an animal, it's quite smart. Hell, it's smarter than me, laying here waiting to die.'

Tension was peaked: the deer seemed extremely strong, I seemed (and was) extremely desperate, and the rest of the world was calm and quiet, waiting for the antics to begin. Taking a final breath to ease the locking of joints in my body, I braced myself as it took a final step only millimetres away from me. It faced away, showing a rear that I could attack, but not hit hard enough to keep it down.

'Food. It. Is. Food.'

The legs were what I attacked first: Bursting out of the snow, a surprise attack, I grappled the left with one hand and stabbed the right just above the joint, causing it to buckle and begin to scream in pain. Forcing it down into something similar to a sitting position, I ripped out the knife, splashing both myself and nearby snow with its life force, and plunged it once again into its neck, using it as leverage to climb the beast. It's screaming was still incredibly loud, drawing more and more attention, so in an attempt to combat it I drew a hand over its mouth, silencing it for a short moment. I position my hand to avoid bites whilst also twisting the knife into its neck further, messing up the fur and causing more blood to stain the world.

"Die you bastard! DIE!" I yelled as I pushed it in further, causing my hands to look like a fresh butchers as I put my full weight on its chest, forcing it down. The deer seemed to realise its finite life in this moment, as it flopped down, chest breathing in deep and fast. It seemed to ignore me as it took in the wild around it, it's home that I'd robbed from it. It's head swivelled slightly, causing it to lock both of its eyes into mine, identifying me. Yet in that moment, I didn't see nature's gift that I'd just brutally torn away from it, no. I saw my attacker, and his eyes moments away from mine, raring away in his power and perfection.

I couldn't help myself.

Pure rage took over my body, a state I'd never felt before, as I practically flung the knife aside and began ripping at its face, tearing large scratches into its fur and skin. Eventually digging past the matted fur, I began to tear and squish its flesh in my hands, painting a canvas of savagery around me as the face of the deer became more and more unidentifiable and stringy in its endings. Brain chunks soon littered the place alongside its counterparts as I tore and screamed and yelled and fought away at the demons that clouded me.

"NOT SO TOUGH NOW HUH!?" I stood up, seeing my attackers body as nothing but pieces of flesh and bone and wasted life. Feeling a sense of relief, I wiped the blood from my eyes and face with a spare sleeve, revealing both the facade and the deer I'd only just practically ripped in twain. I couldn't tell what piece was what as all the remnants of it were so mangled they weren't recognisable. As I raised my hands in horror, the metallic tang in my mouth became obvious to me: I'd eaten it raw.

'You sick freak.'

I stumbled back, almost crawling backwards to get away from the scene, shaking with incontrollable amounts of adrenaline inside of me. I kept spitting and wiping down my tongue, disgusted at myself and the mess I'd left behind. My head hit the back of a tree stump, causing me to hiss with pain and lean up against it as the waves of nausea began to take over. Only a few moments later did I throw up, the liver and entrails of deer I'd somehow squashed into my mouth making a reappearance with some bile to soften the upbringing. I laid back at that point, cold, dehydrated, starving, and accepted my odds: I was going to die. This was it for me. I'm going to meet my end.

'That bastard was right after all, I really am going to lose.'

My eyes were half-closed as I almost accepted my fate. The strength and adrenaline had long gone from me, but my shakiness wasn't leaving. The bones I'd had all my life suddenly felt like anchors, digging themselves deep into snow, forcing me down and pinned. My head rolled slightly to the right, revealing the stringy, patched remains of the deers head staring back with what looked like a smile. I don't know what the hell it was that caused it, maybe the desperation, maybe the loss caught up with me, or maybe at this point I was crazy, but I just began laughing. Not joyful laughter, but loud, high pitched, crazy laughter that sends the hairs on the back of ones neck on edge. The sort of laughter that makes you want to shoot somebody, so they don't come back and take your legs from you. And as I did this, I had tilted my head back, eyes wide and full of tears, so only after I'd finished did I look down and acknowledge my surroundings once again. But by the time I'd done this, it was far too late: The only thing I caught before going dark was the baseball bat swinging straight towards my face, before a blinding piece of pain hit me.

All I remember whilst being out is walking through the woods with my father, before the Dead Zone existed.

'Dad?'

'Yes, son?'

'When I grow up, I wanna be an Astronaut!'

'An astronaut huh? How come?'

'Because I think being tall is really cool, like you!'

'You don't have to be an astronaut to be tall, son, but whatever you wanna be, I'll back you up the whole way'

'Maybe I should wash buildings.'

'Why do you wanna do that?'

'Because everything looks really cool that high up!'

'Maybe, son. But everything looks cool down here too, when I've got my little guy by my side.

'I love you Dad.'

'I love you too son. Now, I'll race you to the end!'

'Hey! No fair! You started before me!'

"Ugh, fuck..."

My eyes, as damaged as they felt, fizzled back into life, slowly allowing me to gain my vision back. My body felt completely numb and lost as I attempted to shake the steady feeling of pain out of my bones and skin. The nerves on my body somehow stood to attention to deliver pain, whilst also remaining dead enough to avoid me feeling most aspects of what had just happened. I raised my hands to my head to check my response to it before feeling a spike of pain and a wave of sickness, causing me to almost faint.

'A wound? Well, I clearly got hit hard. I'm honestly just happy I'm alive.'

My brain had finally wired itself up to my eyes again, allowing me the glorious gift of sight. The first thing I noted was the room I was in: small, one bed, a change of clothes sat on a chair alongside some bottled water and a piece of freshly cooked and sliced meat on some sort of server. Immediately, I reached for both, draining the water and carving through the meat with my teeth, only stopping because my body needed to breathe once again. Moments after discovery, the remains were placed at the side of the bed I was settled into. Feeling stronger, I flung the covers aside to discover I was completely naked. I had not a single piece of clothing to my name. However, there had been a trade off, as I'd been scrubbed clean and patched up, making me look more like pre-zone rather than prime-zone. Still confused, I stepped towards the clothes that were laid out for me: A white shirt, plain trousers, socks, underwear, and gloves. Changing into them, I stepped towards the only way out: a door, aged with both time and knocks as I stepped closer. I'd just gotten my hands on the handle and was about to turn it when the door suddenly burst open, knocking me back into a sitting position on the bed. Stumbling, I caught myself from going back any further, but didn't have enough force to instantly pick myself back up, leaving me with no choice but to remain seated. The light that came from the other room quickly faded as the door closed, leaving me in a confined room with another person.

"So, you're awake." It said, a feminine voice giving away the gender.

"Sure seems that way." I replied, keeping quiet and closed off. I had no idea what this person was capable of, if it even was just one.

"I bandaged you, by the way, you seemed rough when they found you. Thought it was the least I could do honestly." She seemed to set something aside on the chair, but the lighting in the room was still awful.

"Lemme fix this." She said, as if reading my mind, and clicked something that sent a small lamp buzzing above me. The room had more shape, and my medic had a face: Hazel eyes met mine, pupils dilated slightly. A smooth face, with petite features and unremarkable skin placed the voice to the character. A mess of locks fell just above her shoulders, with the classical DZ doc outfit being her attire. (This is a dark suit, patched up to become airtight, with a change of fresh surgical gloves tucked into a pocket for emergency surgery. Suits are commonly used due to how widely available they are to all Dead-Zoners.)

"You looked better in the dark." She remarked, smirking slightly as she picked up something from the chair and wiped it over my head. Liquid drilled from it, soaking up the sweat I'd built up from simply standing. "Keep still, the more you move, the more painful it'll get."

"What the hell are you-" I managed to get out before she cut me off.

"Well, since you so politely asked, I'm trying to keep you alive, so I'd be ever so happy if you shut up and let me do my thing here."

I stayed mute, not wanting to piss off the person who'd probably kept me alive in the first place.

'I don't think she hit me. There's no way she'd try and save me. Plus, if she wanted to just knock me out then she wouldn't have swung that hard.'

"What's your name?" I blurted out suddenly, trying to break the silence that had emerged between us. She seemed to hesitate as she stopped what she was doing for a moment before continuing:

"You first."

"Josh. Josh Miller. It's a pleasure to- OW- meet you." I said, suddenly sheepish. I looked up slightly to see a smirk appearing on her face before she answered:

"My names Lucy. Lucy Wovett. And the pleasure is all mine." She mocked, which caused a short laugh to emerge, the first sign of humanity id shown in a long time.

"I'm guessing it wasn't you who knocked the life out of me then?" I continued, trying to find some answers. She scoffed, almost bemused, before applying more pressure to my head.

"God, no. I have no idea what you're talking about. When I found you, you were in a clearing, alone and practically blue in colour. I checked your pulse and brought you back with some of the deer that an animal killed. I'm amazed it didn't kill you, the pieces it left that poor animal in…" She clearly had the image burned into her brain, the same way I did, but for a different reason. I chose to stay quiet about it.

"Anyway, I brought you back here and made sure you kept both warm and hydrated. By all accounts Josh, you should be dead. Your body is built to last, as you survived... well... I'd estimate two days?"

"Two days?! In the cold?! With no water?!" I raised my voice, but a sharp push and a glare from Lucy made me quieten up

"Ow owow! Okay, okay..." I hushed.

"Exactly. Your clothes were filthy, so I had them burnt as fuel. I'm amazed they lasted as long as they did, practically rags at this point. Mind you, most of us don't have anything anymore."

'She's pre-zone. I can feel it.'

"Am I in a pre-zone?" I suddenly threw out. She stopped for a minute, meeting my eyes with hers for a solid second before bursting out into laughter.

"No! Hell no! You think if I was pre-zone I would've found you? God whoever hit you clearly knocked some sense out of you. You utter fool. I'm done now anyway, so get back into bed before you do something stupid." She took the object away, now practically soaked in crimson, before bandaging my head again.

"I can't thank you enough, but I really have to go. I have to get back to-" My brain shifted itself back into gear, reminding me of my recent happenings and slicing my sentence off prematurely.

'They're gone. They're still gone, and that sick freak is still out there.'

"Go where..." Lucy's eyebrows were raised.

"Go and find somebody." I stonewalled. This girl didn't need to get wrapped up in my story, hell, she didn't even need to save me.

"Hmph. I see. Well, even if you wanted to, I think you'll make it three steps before collapsing. Four if you're really lucky. You took a hit kid, you need rest. You've slept for a couple of days, but it isn't enough." She put her arms on mine and gently pushed me back, but I held back and refused, standing up.

"I-I've gotta find him, and I've gotta make him-" I took a step, and my leg seemed to forget that it could assist me in walking as I buckled and fell, caught by Lucy.

"You're not strong enough! Listen to- LISTEN TO ME!" I struggled before giving in as I met her eyes once more. Care looked back at me, something I hadn't seen from anyone in a long time.

"You can't go out there right now, especially since it's winter and you can't walk! Let me take care of you, alright? And when you're better we'll discuss whatever else you need." I couldn't fight her, I didn't have the strength, so I let her put a blanket over me as she laid me back down.

'Why is she doing this?'

"Why are you doing this?" I echoed, wanting more answers than she could probably give.

"I don't know. I hate seeing those in pain, so if I can help I suppose I will. Plus, there's a certain... charm to you, I guess." She placed something by the end of the bed, and pointed to it.

"You need to piss? That. You need to shit? That. Okay?"

"Charm, huh?" I joked back, before saying "yeah I get it, thank you." I got a grunt as she left, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

'It's got to be more than that. After all, you can leave a man out in the cold. How did she work out it wasn't me that did that though? And how am I still alive? And without frostbite?'

I turned to face the door properly, and could feel my eyes closing on their own.

'Hell, just get some sleep. Maybe it'll all work out and you'll wake up next to Tommy and Dad tomorrow.'

My hands wandered into my pockets, my left one containing air, my right once found itself handling small parts of lint. Nothing to cling onto. Nothing to ease me. Nothing left but time to waste.

'I think it would've been more fitting to die out there. Actually, no, I have something to do before I go, and that's to kill that bastard if it's the last goddamned fucking thing I do on this earth.'

Sleep hit me like a ton of rubble, leaving nothing to chance as I was whisked back to the forest with my father.