10 CHAPTER 9

It was 5 in the morning when I drove up to Leanna's. Pulling up discreetly in my Harley, I parked a few blocks below and walked to Leanna's. Carefully balancing myself, I jumped over her fence and landed on nimble feet; not making a sound. Then with ease, I climbed the tree. The last branch was too high for me to reach. So with a running leap from one branch to the other, I did a handstand spring which allowed me to reach the branch. Grasping it, I scouted the area for any sight of a lurker.

After no sign of any foreseeable danger, I placed a camouflaged camera on the tree and climbed back down. Then, stealthy, I walked up the entrance on tip toes and placed another hidden camera there. I did this for the entire place. By the time I was done, it was already 7. Cleaning myself to get whatever remaining dirt and leaves off me, I knocked on the door. A sleepy Leanna answered.

"What time is it?" She groaned.

I laughed. "It's 7 in the morning!"

"7! What on Morpax are you doing here that early?"

I shrugged. "I came to check in on you. How are you doing?"

"How am I doing? I'm coping with it. But you don't seem to be disturbed by the fact that your mother is gone!"

Ah shit. "Leanns, my mom and I- towards the end, we got into more fights. She made things very clear. She wasn't the same person you met a few days ago. We drifted."

"Like I believe any of that hogwash. You're in denial you piece of shit. When you snap out of it, I'll be here to lend you a shoulder to cry on," she said faking puppy eyes.

I rolled my eyes. "Sure, when I snap out that is. You might be waiting for a while though."

"When's the funeral?"

"Erm well, my mother never wanted a funeral. She always told me that when she passed, she wanted her body cremated and thrown out into the ocean. That's why I was gone for a couple of days. I'm sorry I didn't return your messages. I needed time to think." The lie slid out easily.

"Awww D. Looks like you already had your moment to brood. Was that handsome hunk there with you?" She teased, eyes wide.

"Javier? Well he -"

"Nooo… not him. The one with the gorgeous eyes," she said, nudging me.

"Why on Morpax would I cremate my Mother with Sorin, Leans?"

"Why on Earth would you call him and not your fiancé?" She countered with goggling stares.

Ah. Hmmm. Erm.

"Sorin - he - Sorin specialises in this kind of stuff," I replied, stammering.

"Hehe, sure Daph."

Well, at least she was back to her usual self. I checked my watch.

"I've got to go, Leanna. I'll see you soon," I said, hugging her.

"Make it shine D," she uttered the familiar phrasing we had always spoken to each other.

"Make it shine Leanns."

-

I rode back home on my Harley, not bothering to be quiet this time. Taking out my helmet, I let the rushing wind blow my highlighted purple hair all over the place. This is nice. That's when I realised it; the familiar piercing cold against my face, a beautiful morning with the Sun's shine wrapping me in a warm embrace and my disheveled hair flying with the wind. It was like getting a bucket of icy water thrown over me. Finally remembering the events that occurred, I balked. I pulled up my bike behind a tree; I was going to be sick.

A wave of emotions crashed into me. Against my will, eidetic memories started to take form in my head. I stumbled. Hyperventilating, I tried to calm my palpitating heart. Taking a suffocating breath, I shoved those memories aside and locked them up in my brain within a little box which threatened to burst open. Releasing a final breathy sigh, I looked towards the world as if it were calling my name. I never got over it. It still hits me dumb that I was that person not long ago.

Seeing the world with long lost resurfacing memories had brought back such familiarity of the demons that I was not ready to conquer. It had brought back memories of someone who ignored the little voice inside her head - damning the consequences. Those thoughts brought up feelings like hate, anger and a never-ending perpetual void in the depths of my beating heart. I try not to think about who I was before, because it always ends with me hurting more people I care about. Afterall, I'm the kind of person who'd rather blame someone else for everything that has gone wrong in my life, because the alternative is too much to handle - it's my coping mechanism. Nevertheless, I do know one thing: I'll never be who I was before. I don't even want to remember her anymore.

I have learned how to hold my temper inside for a long while. I just haven't mastered controlling it once it blows. And God's help me when it does. No, fuck the Gods. They haven't been any help.

Just for the sake of it, I mused on my past. I remembered my dad and my real mother. Not the creature who attacked us a couple of days ago. No. My real mother abandoned me long ago. I was cast aside with no money, no home and no food. All alone. I indulged myself in the pleasure of men, drugs and drinks. Every time I was lost in the pleasure that consumed me, I searched and searched my wary core for the bottom; the abyss; the root of my pain and suffering. I wanted to end it. My life. I could not handle the pain any longer. That's when I met Leanna. A beacon in the dark, she reached out to me. That's when I realised I had a choice. I could either fade away and cease to exist or, I could conquer my demons and wear my scars like wings. I chose wisely. I owe her my life.

If there was one thing my real Mother taught me, was that we live in a world built on empty promises and constructed by liars. The only way to survive was to become a liar yourself.

My dad on the other hand took a different approach. He said, one cannot destroy the savage in them by denying its impulses. The only way to get rid of temptation was to yield to it.

I had ignored my mother and listened to my dad at first. The result? The world paid for my destruction. And now my mother. What good has it been so far to lie to yourself and hide who you are? If anything, the beast which attacked us was a warning. A warning that my time was up and that my past was finally catching up to me. And now, they're after Leanna.

The very was the foundation I was built on. My entire childhood. My fucked up family.

So, how on Morpax can you ignore the person you were meant to be? How do you stop yourself from turning into a monster you were sworn to defeat?

I started hyperventilating again. Tears streamed down my face. That's when a familiar fiery red vehicle pulled up.

Sorin sat down beside me on the curb. He didn't say anything. I turned away from him. Not wanting him to see me like this.

He sensed my motive.

"Daphy, this? These tears? They are not a weakness. They show how strong you are and how strong you've been. And when you're done, look back and know that you were strong enough to overcome what you once thought to be impossible."

I looked towards him in the corner of my vision. What he said seemed to register in my head. My tears shifted. Sniffling, I wiped my nose.

"Take me home. I need to get my stuff."

"There's the familiar bossy Daphy that I adore. Come on," he said standing up and lending me a hand.

I hesitated.

Looking at the calloused fingers which marred many scratches, I looked up at Sorin. He didn't seem to be looking at me. Sighing, I took his hand and stood up. He helped me tie my bike to the top of the car before we drove back to my apartment.

-

Whistling, Sorin entered my apartment. If I had known he was coming I'd have cleaned up a little. Squatting, he picked up a midnight blue lingerie I had worn the night before.

"I'd have thought you'd wear something less lacier," he said, dangling the little underthing.

Blushing furiously, I grabbed the lace from him and picked up the other articles of clothing strewn across the tiled floor.

"I need to change."

"Would you need any assistance sweetheart?" He asked, purring.

I flipped him off in response. Hearing his deep rumble of chuckle, I strode into my walk-in closet.

What to wear, what to wear? I thought to myself as I shifted through the articles of clothing in my armoire. A dress? Obviously not. Jeans? Eh. I was tempted to ask Sorin's assistance in picking out my attire considering his immaculate battle black slacks and shirt pressed to perfection. But that was before I saw it.

My old attire from the old days.

I donned it.

Looking at myself in the mirror, I applied eyeliner and plaited my hair back. I finally looked like the old me again. The Daphne that was ready to spill blood. Not the covering party girl whom she was mere minutes ago. Feeling satisfied with the way I look, I strode out.

Sorin's back was to me when I entered my room and opened my weaponry stash. Strapping on weapons like how people wore jewellery, I was ready. Finally I picked up my favourite gun and strapped it across my back.

"Let's go," I told Sorin.

But he was transfixed by something by my bedside table.

"Hey, what's -"

He turned. But he was looking at the thing in his hands. My engagement ring.

"That's my -"

"You're engagement ring," he finished off my sentence.

Then he looked up. He froze. Looked me over. His eyes travelling down and then up. Twice

"I thought it was fitting to wear this again," I told him under his assessing glare as he roved over my skin tight leather pants and a maroon bomber jacket showing off the v-neck white shirt beneath.

Eyes of blue met mine.

"Congratulations on your engagement," he said, dropping the ring onto my open palm as he strode out the door.

I stared at the empty doorway.

With a breathy sigh, I left the ring on the bedside table not wanting to lose it for whatever lied ahead.

Taking one good look at my room, I closed the door and trailed after Sorin's tall hulking figure ahead.

It was time to let my demons out to play.