3 Time to Let me Go

One minute I am sleeping soundly and the next, a loud blow reverberates from the flap of our leather tent.

Before my vision properly adjusts from the sudden wake, an angry mob of blurred faces intrude our space. Ralphie is already on his feet, standing protectively in front of me.

"Stand down Ralphie," someone orders authoritatively.

The order is repeated, but he doesn't budge.

"Why are you in here?" Ralphie growls, not too keen on hiding his annoyance at the disturbance. "Get out."

"We came for her," someone lifts an accusing finger to point at me.

Immediately, I shy behind Ralphie who tightens his hold on me, reiterating his intentions.

"The girl you picked up from the river cannot stay." The new voice came from Little Roy, the smaller-looking boy we had dinner with a few nights before.

"And WHY not?" Ralphie barks, obviously disappointed that his friend isn't taking his side.

"The Bloodsuckers are looking for her," Little Roy tries explaining. "Those monsters sent message this morning."

Ralphie stiffens. "What message?"

"They said," Little Roy bites down on his lip to stop trembling before continuing. "If we take their humans, they'd take ours."

Bryant, a brawny black-haired boy, steps up. Ralphie doesn't lower his stance, but he obviously finds comfort with his best friend next to him.

"We found two members dead by the Border this morning. Both completely drained of blood," Bryant reports.

Upon hearing those words, Ralphie's expression distorts into a blend of mixed emotions—shock, confusion, disgust, anger, and hurt all at once.

If I can, I'd opt to un-see it.

Everyone knew, if anyone could love the pack more than anyone else, it would be Ralphie. Growing up without direct family, the entire pack basically raised him.

Ralphie understands what it means to have something precious. And at the moment, he's learning what it means to lose it.

The others and I hurt just looking at him clenching his fists and teeth, battling the excruciating urge to storm across the river and tear apart every unfortunate bloodsucker he lays eyes on.

I hurt with Ralphie and his pack. I hurt for all of them.

But my hurt doesn't come close to theirs because I know what vampires can do and seen them do it. I lived among them and watched people die.

So all I can do is offer him my silent prayers and hope he believes that he can recover.

Luckily, Bryant keeps composure and refocuses the topic. If we stay in silence any longer, I'm not sure what ideas may conjure up in Ralphie's unstable state.

"The Alphas have gathered and demanded to have Alvena brought before them."

My only ally in the room snaps out of his daze as he regains his protective stance in front of me.

"Everyone is angry right now. If you persist to protect the Vampires' human, it'll just worsen the situation," Little Roy reasons.

Ralphie remains silent, but doesn't allow me to move even a centimeter away.

"We take her to them," Bryant speaks up. Before Ralphie has time to fire off, he continues, "But we'll be on your side if you decide to challenge their decision."

Ralphie exchanges intense stares with him, knowing full well who and what he meant.

Only then did I have the courage to retract my touch.

"Let me go," I say as I dodge his hand from grabbing onto mine. That also hurt me more than I showed.

Ralphie's troubled look breaks my heart, but this is for the best. I'm very grateful for staying so long already.

I want to thank him for showing me, even if it was only for a short time, what it means to be free. It's already more than I dare hope for.

I just wish I could have explained it to him earlier—why we can't be together.

But all I manage is a broken smile before following Bryant out.

...…

Not one of the five Alphas look upon me with ease. My sudden appearance on their land undoubtedly has caused them quite the headache.

"Alvena, how did you end up here?" Rowan, the youngest alpha, asks curiously.

"I jumped from the Border and fell into the river. Then I woke up next to Ralphie."

Murmurs circled about the room.

"From what we know, the Bloodsuckers keep vigil at the Border to prevent humans from crossing over to our side," Alpha Rowan summarizes. "How did you pass them?"

"A good friend sacrificed herself to become my guide."

"What kind of friend?" another Alpha questions sternly.

"A vampire," I reply, already expecting disapproval. "She's family to me."

The questioning Alpha shoots me a death glare, obviously highlighting the fact that he despises vampires and everything associated with that race.

Luckily, Rowan seems less prejudice. "Why did you escape?"

"I didn't want to be their prisoner forever."

Just thinking about it makes my heart ache. I was so stupidly naïve back then, blindly believing that everything would be alright as long as I obeyed their wishes. And at the end, nothing changed.

Rowan appears to sympathize with me, but he is the only one. The other interrogators keep neutrality.

The auburn-haired alpha, Simon—Ralphie's pack's alpha—finally speaks. "We cannot break our treaty with the Bloodsuckers. You are to be sent back right away."

I nod compliantly. "Thank you for allowing me to stay all this time."

Simon grunts, sorry that he couldn't do anymore. I'm sure Ralphie has told him about me when I arrived, but he already turned a blind eye once.

"Abram will escort you back immediately," Simon states and a Lycan opens the tent flap on cue.

"About Ralphie, can I-"

"It's best if you don't meet him," the oldest alpha interrupts, seeming to know what I wanted to ask.

I nod reluctantly as I quietly walk out into the harsh cold.

Though I've only known Ralphie for a short time, it was harder to part than I anticipated.

I'll miss his quirky confidence and boyish grin and how he makes even the most boring subjects amusing. I'll miss how he calls me his mate and gets angry when I say otherwise. I'll even miss how he dresses me up like a clump of fur each time we go outside.

I'll miss him a whole lot more than I initially decided I would.

But I sincerely hope he doesn't miss me too much.

"Do you want another minute?" Abram asks out of sheer courtesy as he traces my gaze.

I shake my head, afraid I'll end up crying before I cross the river. With one swift motion, Abram lifts me onto his silver-lined back.

Sitting on top of a wolf who was a man not too long ago is awkward to say the least, but it's stranger that I could feel his breathing and body heat right underneath me. I can only guess how much of me he could feel.

Right before my mind wandered anymore, Abram takes off and for the life of me, I held on to the little I had to hold on to.

"Abram I'm losing my grip," I yell through the snow, afraid he couldn't sense that I was almost falling off his back. "Can you slow down?"

He ignored me and before I had the nerve to ask again, I found the reason why.

"ALVENA!"

....

"...Alvena!!" I hear Ralphie's continuous calls echo from the back. "ALVENA!"

I'm closing my eyes and hoping Abram can run faster though I feel like I'm going to faint at his current speed.

Suddenly, something rams against Abram and his grip loosens, sending me flying to the snow beneath us.

When I come to, a gray twelve-foot Lycan stands in front of me, growling and on guard.

"STAND DOWN!" Abram roars, so loud it hurt my ears.

I stare at the gray Lycan with his back to me. His cool gray fur and muscular build gives him away instantaneously.

"Where are you taking Alvena?" Ralphie bites through his teeth.

"Orders from the Alphas." Abram looks sternly at his pack mate. "If she stays, our people are in danger."

"She's mine."

My human senses can't keep up when a red-brownish wolf flashes in front of me and hurls Ralphie down onto the snow. Recognizing that his backup was Alpha Rowan, Abram takes this chance to rush me to cross the river.

I don't struggle, but a black wolf as big as Ralphie, attacks Abram and I'm unguarded once again. Left idle, it finally hits me that my clothes are wet from the fall and my fingers are numb. My face already doesn't feel like anything.

Still, I force my eyes open to watch them fight. These aren't the mock fights they do for sport. Injuries from last time would be a paper cut in comparison.

"Ralphie stop..." I whimper futilely. "Stop..."

Rowan's claws jab at Ralphie's sides as the latter bites onto his neck, not letting go. On the other side, Lycan Abram is fighting the black-furred wolf who resembled a lot like Bryant. But it was so cold that it might be my hallucination.

"St...stop..." I beg uselessly as the once white snow turns a bright red.

If none of them are going to listen, someone might die.

So as much as my body begged me to just stay still, I pushed myself and managed to reach the edge of the river.

I know Ralphie would stop the minute I'm gone.

With one faithful leap, I dive into the same unpleasant waters that should've taken my life.

The next thing I know, water fills my lungs and it becomes so painful that everything straightaway fades into nothing. Not the cold nor my worries could get to me. All my thoughts are drowning with me. It almost feels good.

From now on, there won't ever be any more anything.

No more past.

No more tears.

Just no more.