19 Bad Patient

It was the middle of the night when I was adjusting the furs on Ralphie when he suddenly pounced up as if waking from a nightmare. He looked around and when he laid eyes on who he was searching for, pulled me in for a deep embrace. His hold was strong, but I could tell his muscles were much weaker than normal. It probably strained him to move around like that upon waking up, but I stayed still for him.

His head was heavy on my shoulder even though he was trying his best not to put all his weight on me. It pained me to watch him breathe heavily and not being able to talk because he was too weak. Still, he forced himself to at least speak in wolf tongue which came out more like a whimper.

"I'm not hurt, Ralphie," I assure him. "I'm not going anywhere."

Even though he was unconscious the entire time, it seemed like he felt my absence. His embrace loosened when his arms suddenly dropped to his sides and I helped him back down.

Ralphie whimpered and I gave him a kiss on the forehead which at least appeased him for the time being as he listened to everything that happened while he was out. By the time I was out of vampire territory, he fell back asleep and I went to wash up when the words Nero said before he left echoed again in my head.

I know you want to stay so I will not force you to go, but when the war starts…neither I nor Evelyn can guarantee anyone's safety on wolf territory. If I can, I'd at least want to spare you from some of the pain that is bound to arise.

Digging into my pocket, I took out a red vial Nero slipped to me earlier. If I were to change my mind, all I had to do was have a sip and that would be enough for me to cross the river alone and enter Argid without any complications whatsoever. My grip around the tiny glass firmed as I remembered what he told me to do with the remainder, not that he was hoping I'd ever have to use it.

When I asked if it had the same effect on wolves, he didn't give an answer as he wasn't certain. Sometimes it would have an adverse effect on other species. I had no intention of using Ralphie as my test subject either.

The sound of blankets shuffling got me scuttling back into our tent. The gentle giant has trust issues when it comes to waking up and not seeing me around. But as soon as I entered the room and noticed the wolf man in front of me, I couldn't help but laugh.

As long as I've known Ralphie, I had only seen him in three forms. If he wasn't human, he was wolf and on occasions, Lycan. But for the first time since I've met him, he had furry ears popping up from his head.

Ralphie wasn't pleased and brought his hands to cover his ears, which I tried to tug away but he wouldn't budge. At least he was gaining some strength back.

"Don't touch," he said while scooting away. That was when I noticed his tail. Oh lord!

I laughed another round. His ears were red—the human ones of course—possibly from embarrassment but I thought it was quite cute. I've only ever seen wolf children come across as half human half wolf. All the adults were either full human or full wolf but never ever both. Not that they couldn't become that way, but it was more of a personal branding choice.

This guy here is a bit sensitive when it comes to appearing childish despite never actually having looked like one from the moment I laid eyes on him as a teenager that towered over the mass. Perhaps it was due partially to my teasing him about being younger and therefore a child though I've stopped for quite some time now.

In the end, he still didn't let me touch his ears but tolerated me stroking his tail. I knew he liked it though he hadn't admitted to it—yet.

He fell back asleep very quickly, but made sure to retract his wolf "accessories" as not to have me mocking him later about it. It wasn't like I wouldn't ask to see it again. I promised myself I'd get him to show me when he was in a better mood.

In the break of dawn, Bryant fetched me to attend the meeting with the Alphas in which it was decided that the Shadow Watch would be recognizing Sheila as the temporary leader. Bryant would be serving as temporary Alpha until Ralphie recovers. It was also decided that we consolidate all the sub packs of the packs together and map out the best line of defense.

Volunteer soldiers would be placed closest to the border to alert the rest of the pack. Second line of defense would compose of all capable warriors within the teens to nineties age range while the children, pregnant women, elderly and ill members would be in the inner most area, farthest away from the threat.

As an alpha's designated caretaker, I was excused from my typical duties as Luna. Instead, I was to look after my wolf family who were set to migrate further down the lands and away from the Border as soon as possible. Of course that would mean Ralphie and I had to relocate as well.

This didn't sit well with my alpha who despite his protests, wasn't allowed to guard the front. He didn't talk much since and only ate a quarter of what he usually did for a regular meal. Despite our food rationing regimen that we just employed, the smaller children often offered some of theirs to him. He'd only shake his head and say he wasn't hungry. He even rejected mine when he knew I couldn't finish it! I ended up sharing it with the children.

If it wasn't eating, it was carrying our belongings and moving. When we'd reach far enough, we'd part with some pack members and trudge forward. Not all of us were to stay together. The Alphas wanted to make sure we had members stationed around everywhere to alert the others or be within distance to pass on messages.

Things weren't any more exciting than that, which was something I quite wanted to enjoy more of. We all knew the bloodsuckers were coming, but none knew how soon. We tried interrogating Kern, but that nonsense-spouting no-good vampire was surprisingly loyal down to the very core to his own people. However, observing the behavior of the vampires who attacked that day, it was most likely a group of drunk low lives who was high on stupidity.

Still, it was a wakeup call for all of us. Precisely because this was the case, Ralphie had been rather upset for not being more helpful and less helpless that his ears droop. Fortunately, the kids always cheer him up by making sure he's kept busy building the tents and forts, knocking down the trees for them to gather the wood, and running around with them to keep their bones healthy and growing.

"Luna! Luna!" a baby girl tugged at my furs. She took out her little fingers and began counting and then held up two fingers on each hand. "Alpha Grayson caught caribou!"

She was thrilled and so was I. We were having a feast tonight because Ralphie was slowly regaining his strength. I carried the child with me and joined the pack who were already eating and took a seat next to the wolf of honor that night. He compensated the baby with a generous piece which she didn't hesitate to sink her teeth in heartily. I smiled and he reciprocated.

…..

Ralphie sprawled himself on the bed the second we retreated in our encampment. Only then did I notice a bruise forming on his torso. I applied pressure with my palm and sure enough got an energetic yelp.

"You went hunting even though you're supposed to rest."

He sat up. "I want everyone to have enough to eat, at least for today." He looked at me with soft eyes, no longer the puppy ones he used to try on me to ask for forgiveness. Ralphie grew up a lot over the past half year and couldn't help but notice how prominent the change was. I leaned in and pressed my lips on his. His hands dropped down to my waist while mine locked around his neck for a brief moment before he pulled away. That reaction was very much unlike him.

"Everything okay?" I brought a hand up to his forehead to check his temperature but it seemed normal enough.

"I know I'm not myself lately, but I'm working on it." Ralphie lifted me off his lap. "You've been working nonstop so you must be tired too. You don't have to force yourself to cater to my mood."

His words didn't fit the context and it took a moment to process his logic before it began to click. He was trying so hard pretending everything was okay when in reality, he was depressed with all that happened. I'm not exactly sure how, but I could feel it too. The worry about the future and the uncertainty of the present. It probably didn't help that the weight of everyone's livelihoods now resided on his shoulders since he became the Alpha.

I cupped his face in my hands, forcing him to meet my gaze.

"Honestly, I don't think I've seen a more handsome man than the one who smiled at me tonight. I just thought I'd let him know that. Can I get your permission this time to kiss you?"

Ralphie looked at me a bit dazed before nodding half-heartedly. He didn't seem to believe me so I planted a soft kiss on his forehead before pulling him close.

"I meant every word. I'm so very proud of you," I whispered. "So very proud of my Alpha."

His lustrous eyes looked up to see if I was just spouting nonsense or I really meant it. He picked up on the last word—I don't refer to him as that often if ever. Coming to think of it, I don't really compliment him much or pamper him with the praise he deserves. Never felt the need to since Ralphie always seemed so sure of himself, that whatever he did was something rewarding in itself because he chose to do it. But I guess some words just sound good when they're said aloud.

"I thank the Moon Goddess everyday for having you."

"And I worship her because she brought me you."

We both smiled and he pulled me into a strong embrace. Ralphie was already regaining his vigor and I couldn't ask for anything more.

News got around that Alpha Grayson had recovered enough to hunt and the next day, Little Roy came to fetch him. The other four Alphas were eager to have Ralphie take the position of defending on the front lines and lead the Shadow Watch as its leader having already fought with the enemy kind. He of course didn't refuse the opportunity to protect his family and was going to head out right that instant except Little Roy caught him to deliver the rest of his news.

It was an unanimous vote that Ralphie would be serving in the front while I as Luna would continue to venture with the young and elderly farther away from the Border. Basically, I wasn't allowed to follow him.

"There must be a mistake. Why would they want to separate us?" Ralphie had questions written all over his face, but Little Roy assured him that once I bring the members to a safe enough distance, someone would be sent to retrieve me and reunite us. I could tell Ralphie wanted to help in the front, but a part of him knew his own condition when he suggested that he stay with me to accompany the pack until we reach the destination points.

By then, he would be fully recovered and ready to sprint back to resume his duties as alpha. At this, the messenger expressed great disapproval, shaking his head and emphasizing the urgency of the situation which led to the decision of having us go in opposite directions.

"Please understand we're doing this for the well-being of the pack," Little Roy said to Ralphie, but from the way he glanced my way several times, it was clearly directed at me. I didn't bother to try and help him persuade an injured person to throw himself straight into the battlefield, but I wasn't going to deny the choice if he so wished it.

Ralphie then turned to me and I could already tell where his heart wanted to go.

"Don't ask. I'll see you soon." I touched his arm and he craned his neck to plant a gentle kiss on my lips before going wolf and racing up the snowy hill. We don't believe in saying goodbyes or lingering too long for partings. Those were too ominous in his opinion.

Little Roy and I made brief eye contact before he darted after the alpha. He had the same guilt-ridden expression he had when he barged into our room around the time when I first arrived on Wolf Land. Whatever he was hiding, he had better be more cautious as not to alert the alpha. It didn't take a lot to figure out that it most certainly involved me.

I drew out the red vial fitted in my pocket. Guess I'd be needing it sooner than I anticipated.