How I Became a model at Zero Years Old (Part One)

Author's Note: "Yeah, who needs sleep anyway!"

More chapters coming out on the 28.

Man, this woman is perfect. But more than that, I know that I have said this many times, but those bountiful mounds are just perfect. Those mountains are just too majestic. I remember reading something on the internet once which comes to mind, "There are two kinds of climbers: those whose heart sings when they're in the mountains, and all the rest."

All jokes aside, I'm actually facing a real problem right now. How big? Well, it's kind of in my face right now. Rather, "he" is in my face right now. How did this happen... Well, I'm gonna tell you right now!

...

So there I was just minding my own business, climbing "mountains". Then I noticed it, someone else was eyeing "my" "mountains". How dare he! Normally I would think of myself as a pacifist, "normally" that is.

I swear if I didn't have the size and uselessness of a koala right now, I would punch him into next week. No, I would punch him into the next issue of HxH!

Sadly, I can't do that. Though, even if I could, I don't think I would. Why? For then I would lose! Time spent beating the shi- I mean, uhh, "transferring" him of the property, would be less time spent showing appreciation for these picturesque cliffs! Haha, as they say, "slow and steady wins the race"! You know, I might just be a genius.

He- wait? Now he is looking at me! I knew some like them, but not this young! Like, I'm barely two months old! Ahh, now he is running at me! M-Mom!? Mom, save me!!

...

And that's how we ended up like this. Hahhh, It was a short, but good life. May have had a rough start, but was filled with many gifts, well, two in particular. If I reincarnate again I hope it would be as something stronger, like a dragon or demon. Maybe even something better? A demon dragon! who could boss me around then? Man, I really might be a genius!

Anyway, he has been breathing down my face for a while now, spouting nonsense such as, "brilliant", "elegant", "so greedy, but so pure", "damn, those are some fine articles", and such. The last one probably wasn't meant for me though. Damn old man! My life wasn't enough for you, now you want my tressures too!!?

"Sorry mister, but could you get away from my daughter?"

Yes, you tell him, mom! Wow, she is even taking out her phone and threatening to call the police. Hehe, not so mighty now are you, mister thief? Man, seems like my mom was the real genius all along. It seems to run in the family! Anyway, now mom is in control of the situation. Ahh, look at him sweating all over his pretty face. Wait, pretty? Now it's war!

All jokes aside, he is in a corner now. You can practically see his eyes darting between my mom and her phone, as he tries to explain himself. He is throwing out all the stops too. Saying he wants to recruit me to his agency and everything. Laughable, look he even tries to entice mom into the offer too. Yeah, better luck in prison, you thief! There is no way she is going to beliv-

"That sounds wonderful! Of course, I expect you to take care of all the arrangements."

"Certainly, ma'am, only the best!"

...

Yeah, maybe we aren't a family of geniuses after all...