102 Chapter Thirteen: Sometimes, I...

"Thank you for your patronage!" a girl working the register said as a customer left. Once the person was out the door, a collective sigh of relief was let out by the people inside the classroom. "We did it…" one guy said. "There were so many people…" a girl added. "And we have to do this tomorrow?" another girl said.

The breakfast salon of Iwanai High's cultural festival had successfully complete day one of two. Needless to say, they were all exhausted. Their business had been busier than most other classes or clubs, and there had been several times where they had nearly been overrun. Overall though, they managed to survive.

"Well, now that we're done here, I'm gonna go see if the track club needs my help!" Itsuki said loudly. While sweeping near one of the tables, Jasmine looked up at her. There was something telling her she shouldn't let her go, but the gal had no real reason to stop her. She wanted to ask "Are you sure?" or "Aren't you tired?" but knowing Itsuki, Jasmine knew the girl would say something like "I'm fine," or "I'm full of energy," so Jasmine didn't bother. "Still though…" she thought. "I just feel like she shouldn't leave…"

Earlier, Jasmine had thought that she saw Itsuki not looking too good, but she had decided she had only imagined it. However, the thought had never really left her mind. Now, taking a good look at Itsuki, she couldn't help but think she saw those symptoms even more. Her eyes seemed unfocused, her face looked flushed, and when Itsuki went to leave, Jasmine swore she could see her wobbling in her steps. "I should stop her," she thought. And yet, she didn't.

If there was one thing Jasmine had never been good at, it was making real friends. Sure, there had been people she would talk to or maybe hang out with, but it was never more than superficial interaction. She could hardly say she had cared about any of those relationships.

Her present was different. Jasmine had found herself with real friends beyond just Haruna and Chiyo. Even if it took Chiyo's involvement, Mayu and Itsuki had become Jasmine's friends through her own effort. That made them special to her in their own way, and it made her happy to know that she had managed to form relationships on her own that actually held meaning.

Unfortunately, that was also why she was so hesitant to stop Itsuki. She was afraid that if she said something wrong, she'd end up causing Itsuki to get mad at her. That in and of itself wasn't necessarily a problem, but what if it led to more tension down the road? What if it got so bad that they stopped being friends?

To do what she felt like she should, or risk losing a friend. That was the debate Jasmine was fighting in her head. But, before she could reach a decision, Itsuki was out the door. "…She left," the gal thought. It already felt like part of her had lost. "What was I supposed to do?" she wondered. "It's not like I could've forced her to stay and rest or something…"

Concern bubbled up inside her. With each passing second, Jasmine grew more and more worried. "I just know something's not right with her," Jasmine thought. Maybe it was because of what Mayu had told her, but Jasmine kept thinking that Itsuki was worse for wear based on what she had seen. "Maybe… I should go after her," she thought.

Setting the broom aside, Jasmine went to leave. "Huh? Hiraoka-san, where are you going?" one of the girls asked. "Oh, um," Jasmine said. "I was just going to go get something real quick." "Really? What did you need to get? If it's something heavy, someone can go with you," the girl suggested, but Jasmine just waved her hands. "No, that's alright. It'll only take a minute, so I'll be back soon." And before the girl could inquire any further, Jasmine headed out the door.

"Let's see," she mumbled to herself. "She said she was going to the track club. Pretty sure they're this way." Leaving her own classroom behind, Jasmine began to weave her way through the hallways. "Somewhere near the back, I think…" Making one turn, then another, Jasmine eventually arrived in the area she was looking for. "Perfect. Now, where's...huh?"

Just as Jasmine began to look, she spotted the girl she was looking for. Stumbling forward, she saw Itsuki hit up against a wall. Then, she took one more step, which proved to be a mistake. Jasmine watched in shock as Itsuki's legs gave out, and the girl's body collapsed onto the cold floor.

"ITSUKI!" Jasmine shouted, sprinting over to her friend. The girl's breaths were heavy and ragged, and just from placing her hand on Itsuki's forehead for a second, Jasmine could feel it burning up. "This isn't good!" she panicked. "What should I do? There's no way I can carry her all the way from here to the nurse's office!" More panic set in, and just as Jasmine was at a loss, two guys came out of the track club room just down the hall.

Seeing them, Jasmine immediately shouted. "Hey! You two!" "Huh? Why're you yelling- oh!" One of the guys was about to complain until he saw Itsuki lying on the floor. "Please help…" Jasmine uttered. She hated sounding so pathetic, but her worry over her friend was stronger, so she swallowed her pride. Understanding the situation, the two boys quickly came over to her and helped to carry Itsuki to the nurse's office.

When they got there, they laid Itsuki down onto one of the beds. With the cultural festival being as hectic as it was, the nurse was out tending to needs or injuries as they arose, along with several assistants from the health committee, so there was no one around. Thanking the boys for their help, Jasmine turned away from them and stared at Itsuki, who was still unconscious.

She sat down on the edge of the bed. "Thank God you're still alive…" she mumbled, a tremble still in her voice. The past slowly crept into her mind, but Jasmine did her best to push it away. "This isn't like that…" she thought. Those old memories weren't comparable in the least to what was happening now. "She's alive…" she mumbled again, but this time, the words were more for herself than the girl laying down next to her.

Before she could get lost in her past, Jasmine reached for her phone. "I should let Mayu-chi know what happened," she thought. "But how should I tell her? I can't just say Itsuki collapsed. Maybe I should say 'Come to the nurse's office?' But that doesn't really say how urgent this feels…" In the end, Jasmine went with "Itsuki had a problem and I'm in the nurse's office with her." It wasn't the greatest message, but at least it wouldn't cause undue panic.

As Jasmine waited for Mayu to respond, she continued watching over Itsuki. Reaching out her hand, she placed it on the girl's forehead. "She's seriously burning up…" she thought. Getting up from her seat, Jasmine searched around the nurse's office until she found a small towel. Soaking it in water, she rang it out, folded it, and then placed it on Itsuki's forehead. "I hope that helps. Honestly, I have no idea what to do in situations like these."

The last time anything like this had happened in Jasmine's life, the situation had been much worse. Aside from that time, there had been times when Jasmine had been sick, but with nobody around to help take care of her, she had just suffered through it herself without much self-care. Really, her only reference for how to take care of someone came from scenes she had seen in manga or anime.

Jasmine wanted to do more, but out of what she knew, using a wet towel to cool someone down was the only thing that could really be used. "I feel so useless right now," she thought bitterly. Here her friend was, clearly in rough shape, and the most Jasmine could do for her was put her on a bed and give her a wet towel. It felt like she was hardly doing anything.

Just as she was about to start loathing her lack of bedside manner skills, her phone vibrated. It was a short message from Mayu, saying "I'm on my way." Considering she'd be most likely coming from the Cooking Club room, Jasmine figured it would still take a couple of minutes for Mayu to arrive. "I bet she'll have a better idea of what to do," she thought.

Her mind drifted back to what Mayu had told her. Last year, while Jasmine had been spending the cultural festival with number who-knows-what boyfriend, Mayu had ended up having a very different experience. Similar to this year, she had dealt with double-duty, doing both her club's booth and her class. That part had gone well enough, but it was what had come after that had really been the issue.

Itsuki, being in a class and two clubs, had three things she had to do. Upon learning that, each group she was a part of had told her she didn't need to worry about being too involved, and that she could instead focus on the other two. Being told the same thing by all of them, Itsuki had become rather agitated. She spent days complaining to Mayu about it, and ultimately, Itsuki decided she would ignore them all.

She practically forced her way back into a position where she could be an active participant, and through her efforts, ended up becoming quite busy. That was fine by Itsuki. She wanted to be involved. What point was there in being in a cultural festival if everyone was trying to make you sit on the sidelines? So she helped and helped, taking on more and more tasks. For as energetic as Itsuki was, she was sure it would be fine.

But, as the work piled up, her exhaustion rose with it. In an effort to ignore it, she took on more work, which of course only worsened her condition. Regardless, Itsuki was determined to prove she could do it. Perhaps it was just stubbornness, but something about being relegated to the sidelines had really rubbed Itsuki the wrong way. And then, on top of it all, Mayu kept telling her she needed to rest. If not even her best friend would believe in her, then that just meant Itsuki needed to push herself even harder. "I'll show them I'm useful!" she had thought at the time. "I'll be the best worker here, even with all of these groups!" It was an odd thing to feel stubborn and competitive about, but Itsuki held onto that feeling. She held onto it, all the way until she collapsed.

Last year, it had been in front of more people. While carrying supplies to her classroom after the first day, Itsuki had lost the strength in her legs and she had fallen, sending the supplies scattering everywhere. Hearing the noise, people had rushed out of the classrooms in the hallway, finding Itsuki unconscious. One of those people… was Mayu.

That was why this year had her so worried. Mayu had already seen Itsuki push herself too far, and through the weeks of preparation, it seemed like she was right back on that same track. Running around everywhere, never stopping, it was clear to Mayu that Itsuki was going to go overboard again. She tried to warn her friend, but unfortunately, her warnings fell on stubborn ears.

Hearing Mayu tell her she was worried or that Itsuki shouldn't push herself only served to make Itsuki work harder. This year, it felt like she had something to prove. "I totally blew it last year," Itsuki thought. "So this year, I have to make up for it and prove I can do this!" Naturally, Mayu's words of warning and worry only bothered her. "Why can't she just support me?" Itsuki had wondered. "I'm trying my hardest here. Isn't this the part where she tells me to do my best or something?"

Pushing and pushing, Itsuki kept trying to make up for her past failure. Then, before she knew it, it all caught up to her once again. Her head kept feeling more and more dizzy. A fever plagued her. Her body felt sore and weak. All of these were the signs that she had once again gone too far. There was no way to ignore it. All Itsuki could do was try to push through, until she no longer couldn't.

Finding out what had happened last year had caused Jasmine to keep a closer eye on Itsuki, but watching her sleep on the bed told her she hadn't watched close enough. "If I had just told her to stop instead of going back-and-forth with myself so much, maybe this wouldn't have happened…" Jasmine thought, feeling her guilt rising.

It was all so new to her. Chiyo and Haruna were her friends, and had been for a couple of years now, but it was different with them. They had come to her, and Jasmine had accepted them. The friendship between the three of them was good, but sometimes Jasmine felt more like she was just along for the ride. If Chiyo or Haruna just disappeared one day, Jasmine knew that she'd be sad, but she doubted she'd feel motivated enough to try to find either of them.

With Mayu and Itsuki, it was different. Something told her she needed to protect these two. Admittedly, Jasmine felt like that more strongly with Mayu than Itsuki, but it still applied to both of them. But how was such a feeling supposed to play a role in a friendship? How much protection would turn into over-protection and hovering? Was it even possible to both protect someone and be friends? Or, did either of them really need any protection at all? It wasn't like there was some sort of imminent danger.

For Jasmine, who was relatively new to making friends entirely on her own, she had no idea how to even think about these relationships. What was the right balance? What was the right distance? Was there a 'right?'

All of these thoughts had been running through Jasmine's mind since the school trip. Itsuki had talked to her then, and thanks to that conversation, she, Jasmine and Mayu became proper friends. But, since then, Jasmine had been trying to figure out what that meant. In the time that she had been thinking about that, she had decided to be the same as always on the outside. Continue being the somewhat cold and distant, mysterious half-foreign girl that everybody knew her as, and maybe things would just work out on their own before she had to give it any more thought.

But, there was something Jasmine hadn't accounted for. Because of how her relationships with Chiyo and Haruna were, she figured that while it felt different with Itsuki and Mayu, it wouldn't be that different. Friends are friends, so the relationships between them should be similar to what Jasmine was already familiar with.

She couldn't have been more wrong, and the first thing to tell her that were her own emotions. She felt a pull toward Mayu. She felt panic for Itsuki when she saw her on the ground. Little by little, before she even realized it, Jasmine's emotions had reached out toward the two girls and taken hold. Now, she was feeling things she had never really had to deal with before, and it was from all of these unknown feelings and all of these thoughts that her hesitation had emerged.

A part of Jasmine knew it was ridiculous. Even if she wasn't feeling the way she was, there was no guarantee that being able to actually say something to Itsuki would've actually gotten her to stop pushing herself. And yet, her guilt persisted. Was it because she wasn't able to do anything? Or, was there a problem deeper than that she had yet to confront?

"Itsuki-chan!" a voice suddenly exclaimed, snapping Jasmine out of her train of thought. Turning to look at the door that had been whipped open, she saw Mayu standing in the entryway. The girl's face was flush, and her breathing was heavy. It was obvious she had ran all the way to the nurse's office.

Seeing her, Jasmine put a finger up to her lips. "Itsuki's still asleep," she said quietly. "O-Oh…" Mayu uttered, feeling a little embarrassed for shouting. "Has she woken up at all yet?" Jasmine shook her head. "Nope. Out cold."

Taking light steps, Mayu approached the side of Itsuki's bed. "This is why I kept telling you not to push yourself…" she mumbled to the sleeping girl. Reaching out her hand, Mayu brushed Itsuki's short bangs to the side. "Did you put this towel on her?" she asked. "Ah, uh, y-yeah…" Jasmine admitted. "I wasn't really sure what do to, so…" "I see," Mayu said with a soft smile. "That was probably a good idea. "Glad ya think so," Jasmine said with a sigh of relief.

Staring at her profile, Jasmine saw Mayu's face contort. There were so many emotions in her expression, all of them negative. Some sadness, some anger, some worry, and whatever else one would feel in such a situation. Seeing that, Jasmine wondered just what was going through her mind. "I've never seen her make a face like that," she thought.

To most people, Mayu was calm and gentle. Her words were always kind, she greeted everyone with a smile, and she never got angry. It was like she was the perfect, proper girl. However, to Jasmine, she was much different. Mayu was a girl who would pout if you teased her. She was a girl who would get flustered if you got too close. She was a girl who had more than one type of smile, and those other kinds were shown to only a select few.

Seeing Mayu making the face she was now, most people would've been surprised. Jasmine, on the other hand, wasn't so much surprised as she was curious. She had seen Mayu's range of expressions, but such an expression of conflict was new even to her.

"Hey, Mayu-chi?" Jasmine said. Mayu looked at her. "Ya look like… ya need to talk about something." Staring at her, Mayu's face shifted into a troubled smile. "Yes. I suppose I do feel rather uneasy at the moment." Standing up, Jasmine motioned to the side. "Then let's talk over-" "No, I probably shouldn't," Mayu said, uncharacteristically cutting someone off and looking away. "After all, Itsuki-chan still hasn't woken up yet. I should tend to her and make sure-"

"Mayu-chi."

Jasmine said the girls name abruptly. "Can you look at me when ya talk to me?" Keeping her back to the gal, Mayu shook her head. "I can't…" "Because you're doing something ya don't want me to see?" Jasmine asked. In response, all Mayu did was nod. "Mayu-chi," Jasmine said again. "Look at me."

A second passed. Then another. Finally, slowly, Mayu turned to face Jasmine. Just as she had expected, several tears had ran down her cheeks, creating clear lines. "I knew it," Jasmine said. Then, in two strides, she reached Mayu. Before the girl could react, she found herself wrapped up in the gal's embrace. "J-Jasmine-chan?" she said, surprised. "Nobody's around," Jasmine said.

"There's no one in the halls. Itsuki's asleep. My eyes are on the wall. No one's watching ya Mayu-chi. Ya don't have to be all prim and proper right now. So, if ya wanna cry, then cry. Just let it out."

Within her arms, Jasmine could feel Mayu shift. For a moment, it felt like she might try to break free, and then in the next moment, Jasmine could feel Mayu grabbing her shirt tightly. "Snff…" the girl sounded. "Gh…" "C'mon Mayu-chi. No one can see ya." "Uuu….Uwah… ahhhhh!" Little by little, Mayu's voice came out in the form of sobs, gaining more strength with each one.

"Waaaah! I-I was so worried!" Mayu cried.

"Yeah," Jasmine said.

"I told her so many times, but she wouldn't listen!"

"I know."

"When you said she was in the nurse's office, I thought my heart was going to stop!"

"Yeah."

More and more, the worries and pain that had built up inside of Mayu Kawaguchi came spilling out. To each one, Jasmine only offered a simple reply. As she held onto Mayu, she found a singular thought going through her head. "Is this really… all I can do for her?"

Jasmine wanted to do more. She wanted to be able to make Mayu feel better, to ease her worries and to make her stop crying. But… all she could do was hold her and offer simple words. Any more, and it might be too far. Plagued by her own worries and hesitations once again, this was as much as Jasmine was capable of.

After a few minutes, Mayu calmed down, eventually taking the spot on the bed that Jasmine had been occupying. "T-Thank you… for letting me do that," Mayu said sheepishly. "I don't know what you're talkin' about," Jasmine said with a coy smile. "No one could see ya, remember? Whatever ya did, only you know." "Right," Mayu said, smiling back at her. "A-Although, I do feel terrible about your shirt…" "Ah, yeah," Jasmine said, looking down. Part of the front of her uniform was now wet and splotchy. "Well, whatever. Nothin' a run in the wash can't fix." "Are you sure? I could have it dry-cleaned," Mayu offered. "It's just the school uniform. Throwing it in with the other laundry'll be fine," Jasmine said with a small laugh.

"Ugh, my head…" a groan suddenly sounded off. "Itsuki-chan!" "Itsuki!" Both girls said the other one's name as she began to sit up, the towel on her forehead slipping off. "What happened?" she muttered. "You collapsed. Again," Mayu said sternly. "Ah… right…" Itsuki said, remembering. "Sorry about that. After all the times I told you not to worry…" "Of course I was going to worry!" Mayu suddenly exclaimed. "Uh? Huh?" Itsuki let out, caught off-guard by her usually quieter friend being much louder.

"Honestly, I told you so many times! Why did you think I did?! It was to try to prevent this! The last thing I wanted was to see you collapse because you pushed yourself too much again!" "U-Um, hey, Mayu-cha-" "And another thing!" Mayu continued, steamrolling over Itsuki's attempt at speaking. "Did you not learn anything from last year? Why were you so set on trying to do the same thing this year after what happened last year?! Haven't you ever heard the saying that doing the same thing and expecting different results is insanity?!" "M-Mayu-cha-" "You know, if you weren't so stubborn," Mayu went on, ignoring Itsuki. "This could've been avoided! You're lucky the nurse isn't here right now. If she was, she would've had to call your family! Did you want them to worry too?!"

Finally, Mayu stopped, taking heavy breaths after finishing her lecture. Stunned into silence, all Itsuki could do was stare, mouth agape. "Um…" she dared to utter. "...Y-Yeah… You're right. I shouldn't have been so stubborn. If I would've listened to you Mayu-chan, I probably wouldn't have passed out again…" "W-Well, I'm just glad you understand," Mayu said, now feeling embarrassed after shouting so much.

"Hey, Itsuki," Jasmine said. "Hm? What Jas- OW!" Itsuki yelped. Just as she had turned to look at Jasmine, her forehead was greeted by a strong flick. "Don't make Mayu-chi worry so much," the gal said, sounding annoyed. "Or me, for that matter." "Huh? You were worried about me Jasmine-chan?" Itsuki asked. "Well yeah. We're friends. Ain't that normal?" Jasmine said simply. "...Right. Of course we're friends!" Itsuki said after a moment of hesitation.

After that Mayu and Itsuki began talking again. Sitting behind them, Jasmine watched for a bit, but the longer she did, the less she wanted to stay. "It feels like I should go," she thought. Standing up, she went to leave, but Mayu stopped her. "Jasmine-chan? You're leaving?" "Yeah, I got somethin' I need to take care of, so I'll see ya tomorrow," Jasmine lied. Before Mayu could ask any more questions, Jasmine gave her a pat on the head and a smile. That was enough to freeze the girl up, allowing Jasmine to walk out without another word.

*****

Going down the halls, she sighed. "That sucked…" she muttered. While she had been sitting in the nurse's office, a new feeling had begun to stab at her. Whatever it was, it had been telling her one thing: that she needed to leave Mayu and Itsuki alone in that moment. Of course, it wasn't just a feeling. Just watching them had been enough to tell Jasmine that she wasn't needed. "It totally felt like if I stuck around any longer, I'd really be the third wheel."

Mayu and Itsuki had grown up together. Being the childhood friends that they were, they were pretty close. It was true that Jasmine felt like she was friends with both of them, but while watching them talk, she noticed something. Friends like that leave no room for others. She was friends with them, but it would never be the same. It made Jasmine wonder if from now on, when the three of them were together, if she would always feel this way.

"We're friends, but I wonder what that really means to them," she thought. "Seeing them talking all happy like that… it was like I wasn't even there." It was a very unpleasant feeling. Jasmine was already dealing with a pile of feelings about her friendships with Mayu and Itsuki. Adding such a heavy one that made her question if she should even be there caused her a lot more distress. "Maybe I'm just in the way for them…" she thought somberly.

*****

After Jasmine left, Itsuki was left alone with Mayu. "You know, Jasmine-chan is the one who found you in the hallway, so you better her thank her tomorrow," Mayu said. "Yeah, you're right," Itsuki said with a weak smile. "Itsuki-chan? What's the matter? Are you still tired?" Mayu asked, noticing Itsuki's lack of energy.

"Y'know…" Itsuki began. "You and Jasmine-chan… You two have gotten pretty close, haven't you?" "Huh? Well, I suppose so," Mayu said, slightly confused by the question. "But you're close with her as well, aren't you?" Itsuki shook her head. "Not like you," she said, her tone carrying weight.

An awkward silence formed between the two, until Itsuki broke it. "I was awake," she said. "Eh?" Mayu let out. "When you were talking to Jasmine-chan, I was awake. I heard you crying," Itsuki explained. "Y-You did?" Mayu said, surprised and feeling a bit of shame. "Sorry about that. I must've been so loud that I-"

"How come you've never shown me that face?"

"...What?" Mayu froze. "You've never…" Itsuki said, pausing for a moment before going on. "You've never cried in front of me." "Of course I have," Mayu said. "When we were children-" "That's not what I'm talking about!" Itsuki suddenly yelled. "Why does she get to see you cry like that? Why does she get to see you smile differently? Why… can't I...?"

Mayu was speechless. Her mind was blank, and while she struggled to find words, Itsuki asked another question. "Mayu-chan, what do you think about Jasmine-chan?" "W-What do I think?" Mayu sputtered, her face gaining a slight blush. "Well, um, she's nice, except for when she calls me a pet. She's fun-" "That's not what I mean," Itsuki said with a sigh, putting a stop to Mayu's words. "I mean… Are you… Are you…"

The question Itsuki wanted to know the answer to most was on the tip of her tongue. During the school trip, she had thought about asking it then, but she had held back, deciding to just enjoy the trip and save such a question for later. However, ever since the trip, it seemed like Jasmine and Mayu kept getting closer and closer. Itsuki was also getting closer with Jasmine too, but she knew it was different. It was far from what was forming between Mayu and Jasmine.

She always watched as they walked together. She saw Jasmine tease Mayu, and Mayu react in kind. She saw how Mayu's face would change whenever Jasmine came around. With each passing day, it was becoming more obvious that something was forming. Whether or not either of them realized it, Itsuki had no idea. What she did know though, was that it was killing her to be the observer.

She wanted to know. A few more words, and she might get an answer. And yet, her throat tightened up. Her mouth went dry and the words that should've been sitting on the tip of her tongue receded. "I can't say it…" she thought. So instead, Itsuki let the moment pass, and just shook her head. "Never mind. It's nothing. I'm tired, so I think I'll sleep a bit more." Turning her back to Mayu, Itsuki laid down before pulling the covers over her head.

"We're friends," she thought. "The three of us. Mayu-chan, Jasmine-chan and me. We're all friends, and I'm happy I've gotten to know Jasmine-chan… but…" Before Itsuki slipped back into sleep, she allowed one of her buried feelings to rise to the surface. "...Sometimes… I really hate her."

End of Chapter Thirteen.