Webnovelavatar
Darling in the Mask
novel - Romance

Darling in the Mask

PiperShea

Ongoing · 102.4K Views

What is Darling in the Mask

Read Darling in the Mask novel written by the author PiperShea on Webnovel, This serial novel genre is Romance stories, covering romance, action. ✓ Newest updated ✓ All rights reserved

Synopsis

In a dark room, Zhi started to wake up. She found herself slipping in and out of consciousness. A metallic and slightly sweet smell of blood filled her nose that was followed by a harsh smell of urine, feces and burning trash. "Where am I?" Zhi's breathing became labored until she could only hyperventilate. Zhi's head was hurting from where she was struck and was nursing an unbearable headache. She tried but wasn't able to free her hands to check her wounds. Panic sunk in. "How..can..this..be..happening." Each word felt like pulling teeth. No..no.. no..no..no..please God don't let this be happening again. This time, there would be no Tadashi. This time she wouldn't be saved, she will die here. A door cracked open. Bits of light seeped through. Instead of fresh air coming in the rancid smell intensified in the tiny room. "Good, you're awake. I hate that you made me stay here this long. I'll make you suffer twice as much as I just did. The voice got angry and violent, "I mean, you even made me leave before getting my future husband's name." Zhi was slapped hard in the face over and over. "Are you listening to me little Ruo?"

Tags

2 tags

You may also likeMore

ratings

  • Overall Rate
  • Writing Quality
  • Updating Stability
  • Story Development
  • Character Design
  • world background

Reviews10

LikedNewest
XOMatsumaeohana
XOMatsumaeohanaLv7XOMatsumaeohana

Review Swap Valid For Chapter 6 Writing Quality: • Clarity: Using the word 'She' too much. For example, starting from Chapter 3 --" She bolted--" you used the word 'she' 9 times no a few more times before you mentioned the name again. Try to use a mixture of using the character name and she. Not just one. •Grammar: Start of new sentence should always be a capital letter. Same with names. Capital letters - When shouting, yelling just use actions to describe then use capital letters. For example--> "The answer is, yes!" Zhi exclaimed. Your already using an exclamation mark, so that shows your emphasising the word yes already. Using words like 'exclaimed' or 'raised her voice' describing the action. • Good usage of descriptions. Character movement, thoughts and surroundings are described very well. Though in chapter 5- the last few speaking dialogue between Zhi and Howin could use a few more description. I know Zhi kept saying 'no' but it's not very clear to readers. You could write "No," Zhi repeated, (then express what she is thinking when she said this) Maybe she said it with an indifferent look on her face etc. • Use grammarly for punction and grammar checking Story Development:A bit fast paced. Personally I like these types of stories the best. By chapter six a lot is happening already, we get background information on the 'enemy' organzation. But 🤔🤔 hmm before Zhi accepts his hand again - I think they need to learn more about each other. Things have changed since they last met, I wouldn't rush into a relationship so soon. Character Development: Rather than the FL, the one we learn more about in these beginning six chapters is the ML Tadashi. Him being part of a underground organization, shows his brutal side. A side the FL isn't used to seeing since she's always regarded him as her 'hero'. The FL seems pretty meek and bland so far, nothing defining her character properly. But I'm sure this will develop overtime. World Background: No issues here, everything's explained properly. Setting, scene changes. There's only six chapters - so it's hard to judge but for now this is my assessment of it. Overall: A intriguing and unique love story. A few additional suggestions • Longer synopsis, doesn't have to be too long but your present one is too short. • Make sure when you introduce characters, to add description regarding their role or maybe relation to the leads I enjoyed these six chapters and hope to read more. Good luck Author.

MyCharacterLeads
MyCharacterLeadsLv5MyCharacterLeads

First of all, I would like to extend a congratulatory remark for spending efforts of writing this novel.👏 Writing quality. Though it's readable, you need to proofread it again. Grammatical errors were visible like the wrong way of using commas (e.g. He, quickly and discreetly - no need for comma - He quickly and discreetly) Typos errors ('She new' instead of 'she knew') She held the man's hand instead of She held the mans hand. (If it doesn't have apostrophe between the man and s, it will sounds like a lot of man.😂) Updates. Don't have a problem Story development. Though I get and understand the whole idea, it was a bit fast paced. There's something missing when I read it. Character design. I found the ML cute when he want the FL's attention. And i found the FL's reactions normal. She might be hesitant to her feeling to the ML, but it was just normal when you knew that the one you love know how to kill. That's a terrifying fact. What more will she feel when she know that his an assassin? Poor Zhi! They might be more convincing if what they felt and thought will be put up more effort. 'Show' how they felt instead of 'Telling' (e.g. when Zhi and the K-pop guy dance, it was just stated that they dance. I suggest to be more specific, like if they were dancing like a couple. And be descriptive to this part to emphasize how would one felt if they saw their love dancing with another guy. That would be more convincing.😉) World background. nothing to say as it was in modern era. Hope this help!😄 This novel has a its own unique story.👍 Keep it up author.. Fighting!😉😉

Veronica8
Veronica8Lv5Veronica8

This story has a lot of potential and I think will do quite well at this site. It's a high pace action-romance with diabolical and power hungry businessmen in something of an oligopoly. The ML and FL are two OP type of characters in their own given fields and experience, pulling the story along. I did struggle with the story's pacing, finding it too fast, and with little moments to know the characters better. They were doing a lot of action or setup, but the meaning to those actions felt short of the mark. I really recommend slowing the pace a little by building up your characters' motivations and subtleties as you go. They had a traumatic experience when they were 12 yrs, what subtle quirks would they carry into their *****hood from that experience? I'd imagine paranoia and distrust would be key ones. Otherwise, it was an enjoyable read and with a bit of refining can be another great power ranker here.

blankkarma
blankkarmaLv4blankkarma

i like the characters because they have good development and the book soars in that regard although i do believe the world building needs some tweaking it is a great read and i love the first chapter just because of the words silver beauty i just like the analogy and think it's neat

PeachyPearl
PeachyPearlLv4PeachyPearl

Ah and here we have another good novel flourishing on the side less noticed. I am so happy to read this. But one thing that I gotta point out... please don't use too many paras to describe the same thing. It would look better if the paras are put together. Not too long but not too short either. The current one looks like one liners. Except for this one thing and a few negligible others, everything else is good. Overall it's a good read and loved it.

PsyberRose
PsyberRoseLv6PsyberRose

Reveal spoiler

Bikash2410
Bikash2410Lv2Bikash2410

The character is well described with her actions and i like your grammar..... I can't wait to read further....do update chapter fast..Good luck and wish you best of luck

K_A_U
K_A_ULv3K_A_U

Great story, I was completely lost in it, I kept on reading and reading until I reached c6 I was like NOOOO. I really loved the story and I can't wait to read more.

PiperShea
PiperSheaAuthorPiperShea

I have learned a lot from reading reviews and chapter comments. This is crucial and vital for an author's improvement and growth. Please feel free to leave your review and more comments so I can grow as an author.

lovehalsey
lovehalseyLv5lovehalsey

Reveal spoiler

Supports

More about this book

General Audiencesmature rating
Report