Cruel Reality

"I'm sorry about how I acted earlier, that was definitely not how I wanted it to go." He apologises and I smile with a chuckle, remembering how cold he acted earlier. It was a breath of relief knowing he wasn't trying to give me the cold shoulder on purpose.

"I should've pulled my head together and told you how I really felt the moment I put my eyes on you." He tells me with a charming smile and I swear my heart did a flip. I remember when I talked with Rosella about mates, and this man right in front of me will love me forever. The thought of her made my heart throb but the intensity of Nathan's gaze brought my attention back up to him. Looking him into the eyes, I almost got lost in them. As cliché as that seems his eyes held so much promise and love that I almost melted on the spot.

"What I should've said from the very beginning is that I reject you." He says and my brain went a little fuzzy, not really allowing the information to sink in. I looked into his eyes hoping, crying out for this is to be a lie, trying to look into his eye to learn the truth and I truth I saw. It was the truth in his eyes I saw earlier, there was promise and love in them, a promise to get rid of me and loving every minute of it. I couldn't speak but I wish I had managed to saw something, anything to postpone the inevitable.

"I Nathan, Alpha of the Moon Cliff Pack reject you Dawn, Alpha of the Non Grata pack as my mate." I think what hurt the most when my heart crumbled and my wolf's soul shrivelled up and died was the strong confident and unaffected way, he said it. He really wanted to do this, there was absolutely no doubt in his mind that I wasn't going to be his mate.

"Why?" I beg almost pathetically but manage to hold back the whine in my voice. I needed to know why my mate; the man who is supposed to love me forever doesn't want to love me more even a second.

"You may be a semi respectable Alpha, but you're no respectable mate." He tells me with that same friendly smile and I have never wanted to rip off someone's face more. I knew being part of a rogue pack would create problems in this pack, but to have my entire freedom taken away from me right after it being rubbed in my face.

"I'll see you in the morning Alpha Dawn." He said with a small grin this time, leaving me standing still and silent in his office, shock still coursing through my veins. Total despair tugged down harshly on my heart trying to tear it to parts, and I can hear my wolf howling in my ears, crawling into the back of my mind, falling to the ground barely lifting her head to avoid drowning in her own grief.

The first stage of rejection is when the senses become dull, not permitting the effected to be able to smell, hear or hear their mate as well, allowing the rejection accepting process to be more likely as they are less effected by the bond.

The whole world is kind of fuzzy, my eyesight was blurry as tears cloud them, I can barely see what was sitting in front of me. My ears started to block and unblock themselves continuously, all my senses seemed to be on drugs. Droplets of dark red DNA drips down upon the hard wood floor and then the blood gates open, my nose starts to bleed uncontrollably. I pinch my nose and go to grab a tissue off of his desk but my vision blurs and I miss and tumble slamming my body into the side of the desk. The wood cracks under the pressure and I hold my hand against my nose which still had blood streaming out.

I quickly linked Finn, asking him to come and get me from Nathan's office, my wonderful Beta is here within seconds and he frowns at my appearance.

"Why's your nose bleeding?"

"Nathan didn't hurt you, did he?!"

He asks cautiously kneeling down to examine my face, not caring that he just accused an alpha of assault. I almost open my mouth to tell him everything but then I'd be that girl, that girl who got rejected. It'll become part of my identity, every time someone would see me, all they would see was the girl who wasn't wanted by her pack or her mate. All my achievements would be underappreciated, not only for being a rogue and a woman but for being undesirable.

No matter how much my heart feels as though it's just hanging in my chest, I have a pack and that comes with responsibility. Responsibility to be the Alpha for my pack and to protect this one. I can get him back later, but now I have to pretend my wolf isn't crying out for Nathan's.

"No Nathan didn't touch me, I just fell over." I tell with a half lie, he didn't touch me and I did fall over but he did hurt me, but not in the way Finn was implying. Finn nods and pulls me up to my feet passing me the tissue, I smile in thanks and hold the tissue over my nose and squeeze.

"Can you take me to my room?" I ask and to be expected Finn knows exactly where my room is, he takes me down the hall and stops in front of a dark wooden door.

"Goodnight Finn." I say opening my bedroom door.

"Goodnight Dawn." Finn replies, before going next down to where he is obviously staying for the duration of our stay. I sigh, closing my bedroom door and walk over to the double bed in the middle of the room. I take a long deep breath and my nose is flooded by the faint scent of Nathan; he must've been in here earlier. Suddenly, now that I'm all alone, the feelings start to rush back to me.

The second stage of rejection is when the rejection infects your heart, pumping it through your body to damage your nervous system so you don't feel anything including the tingles of a mate's touch and the pain of rejection, this is to prevent the mates from using the bond against each other.

My heart feels even more than smashed to pieces, it feels as if there was no longer a heart to beat. I drop to the ground on my knees and struggle to breath as the rejection floods my heart. Then my heartbeat starts to pick up, pounding rapidly, it presses tightly against my rib cage sounding like a helicopter with each beat. Like insects I feel the rejection crawl and multiply through my veins like poison, damaging all the veins, in every part of my body. After a few minutes I feel nothing, absolutely nothing at all. My body stills ache like I just ran a marathon but otherwise I feel fine.

The third stage of rejection is when the rejected wolf, accepts its' mate’s rejection allowing the two wolves to move on with their lives and find other wolves to spend their live with.

I knew the three stages of rejection; it was a requirement to learn about at school as children to prepare us for every and any situation we might face in the future. Though I never believed that I'd be the one having to experience them. I have always imagined meeting my mate, visualising in my mind the many ways it could go down. This was definitely something I would have never imagined. Though honestly what was I expecting to happen, when I was younger, I dreamed of finding a mate who would take me as his equal and love me forever, but my circumstances have changed. I'm no longer the respectable daughter but now a hated rogue that parents warn their children about.

My whole life has been just a downward spiral, where no matter how much of a life I make for myself the second I step on the wrong territory I pay a price. I'm not going to take this like a loser and accept my fate, I'm going to fight with everything I have to continue forward. Though right now my brain is too fuzzy to understand how I want to continue forward, I refuse to one of those girls who beg for their mates back, or try and show them what they're missing but I'm not sure if I'm willing to accept the rejection. In a way it would make things easier if I did, all my senses would get back under control and I could continue what I started with my pack. All the possibilities swam through my mind and I could physically feel a headache coming on, I needed rest, not only to clear my thoughts but to give me a chance to restore my heart. With that thought in mind I climb under my covers, completely ignorant to the fact I'm fully clothed and allow exhaustion to take over...