346 RTYY 342 - Freeing One's Voice

Forcing himself to let go of him right then was probably one of the hardest things ZaiWin had done his entire life. He still did it, though. For both their sakes.

Placing a light kiss on Snow's temple, ZaiWin finally straightened his back, gently holding his arms and pushing Snow back, placing enough space between them so that he could actually look at him. He'd been right, he concluded, his chest hurting at the sight of those tears. Even as he desperately held on to him, Snow had been crying. Now he was once more refusing to look up at him, his head hanging low, as if he felt ashamed of some terrible sin he'd committed.

ZaiWin gritted his teeth.

A sin were the dark-red marks he had left on his skin, ZaiWin thought, gently straightening Snow's clothes, the same ones he'd angrily tore just a few moments ago. Then he gently held his chin, bending forward, trying to take a better look at that avoiding face. Looking for a cleaner spot on his sleeves, ZaiWin tried to gently wipe Snow's tears. And then tried again, making Snow raise his head to face him.

Tearful silver eyes finally glanced back at him, a scared, guarded gaze that made ZaiWin's heart ache. The moment he leaned closer to him Snow immediately flinched, but ZaiWin still pressed his lips to his forehead in a simple kiss. Which thankfully seemed to help him relax a bit. At least when he pulled back those silver eyes didn't look as skittish anymore, actually daring to face him, clearly silently looking for any small clue that would allow him to guess what he was thinking.

Answering that frightened, inquisitive gaze with a small smirk, ZaiWin simply pointed to his collar. That fucking collar!, that didn't allow him to speak, to clearly say what needed to be said.

Snow's eyes immediately widened in understanding.

"You ... want me to try and take it off?" he asked, his whispered voice still sounding unsure, and ZaiWin nodded, quickly looking around the small room.

Taken aback by that sudden change, Snow simply observed him in silence, trying his best to read his intentions.

Seeming to find what he had been looking for, ZaiWin stood up and took a few steps to one side, only to sit down again, his back against the stone wall. Trying to understand what had led him to move, Snow noticed the strong-looking metal ring that had been nailed to the ground, a pile of rusty, coiled chains resting right next to him.

Raising one hand, ZaiWin signaled him to come closer, and Snow didn't even hesitate, jumping to his feet to kneel right next to him again.

Giving him a small smile obviously meant to reassure him, ZaiWin pointed at his collar again. Which clearly didn't work, since Snow looked even more uncertain.

"I know I kind of offered to do it before, but ... I'm actually not sure I can ... control it like that," he declared in a small voice, averting his gaze. "I may ... end up … hurting you." And that was the last thing Snow wanted to do right now. Sure, ZaiWin had hugged him, and kissed him, and tried to soothe him. But he still wasn't sure that any of that meant that he'd been forgiven.

The hand that grabbed his hand made Snow jump, but then ZaiWin simply led it to his neck, placing it over his collar. Leaning his head back, he closed his eyes and patiently waited.

Snow pursed his lips. Looking at ZaiWin, he knew it was no use trying to warn him or dissuade him. He would only be wasting his time. He'd do better focusing on what he was doing instead.

Two fingers. Two fingers would be enough, he decided, pressing two fingers against the cold, smooth surface of the metal. Just like ZaiWin used to do, to activate his daitai. Two fingers and very small pieces of energy. He didn't need to rush, quite the opposite, which was the hardest part. Up till then he had frozen a lot of things, but always in one go. The best he had been able to control it was when he had frozen the men from End of the World to the ground. Back then he hadn't completely frozen them, since that would have inevitably killed them, but he wasn't completely aware of what he had done to control it.

Focusing his attention on those two fingers, Snow dove into his ice daitai and pulled out some energy, directing it to those two fingers alone, trying to contain it as best as he could. It was really hard work, like trying to hold back a massive wave with one's bare hands. Even though he was trying his best, the crackling ice forming beneath his fingers still expanded to ZaiWin's skin, making him flinch, and making Snow pull back his hand at once.

Opening his eyes, ZaiWin glanced sideways at him. He was fine, Snow could read it in his gaze. He had to go on.

Snow knew. Of course he had to go on. He too, wanted to take that collar off of him. And he knew that he couldn't actually kill him, not with his ice daitai, much less using such little portions of energy. But it still clenched his heart seeing him getting hurt. Worse even, knowing that he was the one hurting him, he thought, watching the thin layer of ice melt and leave an ugly red mark on ZaiWin's skin.

Fine!, Snow decided, steeling his heart. He would do this as fast as possible. He could always heal him afterwards, if he got hurt in the process.

Pursing his lips, he touched the collar again and focused. Ice started to form again, but that would never be enough. He had to freeze the damned thing all the way through, so it would hopefully become brittle and break.

He noticed ZaiWin's shoulders tense up, but refused to look at his face. Of course he was hurting him, Snow knew, clenching his teeth, focusing even harder, wanting to get it over with as fast as possible. If he were to look at him and see any traces of pain on his face he wouldn't be able to go on anymore.

Even though he was trying his best, his ice still climbed all the way up to ZaiWin's cheek and all the way down his shoulder and chest, not to mention that the metal beneath Snow's fingers had gone so cold that it hurt just to touch it. Hopefully, this should be enough, Snow thought. Any more than that and instead of making the metal brittle, he would be covering it in ice, which would only make it even harder to break.

The moment he leaned back, ZaiWin quickly grabbed the chain resting on the ground and tried to slip it between the collar and his own skin. He was so rough in his gestures, and the space so small, that the rusty chain dug into his frozen skin, easily breaking it, until it scraped his neck raw.

Without uttering a single sound, breathing through clenched teeth, his head completely tilted to the one side in order to allow space for the chain, ZaiWin offered Snow the other end of the chain.

Holding them with trembling hands, Snow looked up at him.

"You want me to pull it?"

ZaiWin simply peered at him from the corner of his eyes, since now he couldn't move his head at all.

Nodding in understanding, Snow wrapped the chain around his right hand, placing his left hand against ZaiWin's head so he wouldn't be dragged when he pulled the chain. He was hot and sweaty, Snow immediately noticed, probably from the pain he had been enduring in silence. Making sure he held the chain as firmly as possible, Snow took a deep breath. One pull. One single pull with as much strength as he could manage. Gripping the chains as hard as he could, Snow breathed in and pulled with all his might.

The horrible sound of rattling chains filled his ears, together with ZaiWin's muffled grunt, but then something did crack. Still pulling as hard as he could, his other hand trying to keep ZaiWin's head in place, Snow fell back with a loud thud, all tension suddenly gone from the chain.

"I'm so going to kill that fucking bastard!!"

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A/N: I have no doubt about that, dear ZaiWin 😔

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