342 RTYY 338 - The Courage to Face One's Mistakes

MaoHan sighed from the door.

"I can't tell you how long you'll have to wait here. I'll try to at least make sure you get some water to wash up, some clean clothes to change into, and some food. Only vegetables and fruit, right?"

Snow didn't bother to answer. They had been traveling together for twenty days now. And MaoHan wasn't an idiot. He was bound to have learned at least that much about him.

MaoHan turned to the man standing fearfully to one side, his eyes fixed on his own feet as he tried his best to stop trembling.

"What are you doing? Still standing here like a dumb doll! Go and fetch some water!" he ordered, his command sounding more like a threat, and the man immediately bowed his head and quickly rushed outside.

"I will make sure the children remain close enough to this prison cell to assure that they won't have to suffer the unfortunate consequences of being too far away from you," MaoHan went on, his voice back to its previous calm, even polite tone, and he placed a large hand over the little boy's head, making him cringe. "You do understand, right?"

Snow gritted his teeth. He had hoped he would allow the children to stay with them, like it had happened during their trip. And so yes, he understood what he meant all too perfectly!

MaoHan's cold, indifferent gaze turned to ZaiWin.

"And you. Do not forget that I can easily drown you in a burning ocean of pain. And I don't need to be here to do it, either," he declared and Snow's heart beat so hard against his chest that he almost froze him where he stood. "If you're still standing there, unharmed and in one piece, it's only out of consideration for Snow, who seems to misguidedly believe that he has to accept you as his Chosen One. If not for that, by now I would have you crawling on your stomach at my feet!"

Snow could hardly restrain himself, his entire body shivering. But then his gaze fell on the scared little girl standing next to MaoHan, and on that large hand that practically covered the small boy's head. And he forced himself to swallow it. It wasn't as if MaoHan was actually doing anything to harm ZaiWin, he tried to rationalize things. He was just talking. Only words. Certainly irritating words. But still, just words.

The man from before returned, carrying two large, heavy-looking buckets of water. His cheeks flushed and breathing heavily, clearly afraid he might spill even a single drop of water, he looked very much as if all he wanted was to hurry up and obey the command he had been given.

Bowing his head, fearfully bending his back as he passed by MaoHan, he deposited the buckets next to the heavy, metal door, as if he didn't want to take a single step inside the small room. Quickly stepping back again, he stood outside, to the side of the door, clearly trying to make himself as small and insignificant as possible.

"Food will come as soon as it's ready. I will come for you when InnArg is ready to meet you," MaoHan stated and, taking a step back, simply nodded to the man, commanding him to close the door.

The little girl's blue eyes widened in fear, Snow didn't know if from seeing him being locked up inside that place, or if because they were going to separate them. Did the children understand that they had to remain within a certain distance from him or they would die? Were they afraid MaoHan would simply kill them, now that he finally had Snow exactly where he wanted? Snow certainly was, he thought, watching the door close, the metal sound of the heavy locked echoing throughout the entire place. Clenching his fists, he did his best to stay strong. And he decided right there and then. He was not going to take a single step out of that room to meet who knows who unless MaoHan showed him that the children were still safe!

And then it finally hit him. They were alone, again. After all those days ... After all that had happened.

The soft sound of footsteps walking away from him left Snow's heart hammering hard against his chest.

For days he had both wished that this moment would come, and, at the same time, dreaded it with all his might. Sure, these last few days they had been traveling together, inside that small cart, and ZaiWin had been silently warm and caring, much like he'd always been. But even though Snow could be too gullible for his own good, as it had been clearly proved this time around, he wasn't that naïve, to think that he could be so easily forgiven for the choices he'd made.

Lowering his head, Snow forced himself to take a deep breath. His heart ached at the thought of how angry and sad ZaiWin must be. His stomach burned from how anxious and nervous he felt.

Since he had woken up inside that prison cart, surrounded by ZaiWin's reassuring arms, Snow had often asked himself how he would have felt, if their roles were reversed. If ZaiWin had drugged him and left him behind, all alone in that bedroom, only so he would wake up to realize that he was now the prisoner of a bunch of strange people. He probably would never be able to completely trust him again, Snow was forced to admit, his own truth hurting him even more. Because even though he would probably never trust ZaiWin again, he didn't want ZaiWin to lose his trust in him. He had never felt so sorry, never felt such deep regret in his entire life. He had never known it could hurt so much either.

Rising his head, Snow tried to tell himself that what was done was done. And that, even though he'd been an idiot, now he had to be brave enough to admit and face his mistakes, no matter the outcome. Even if ZaiWin would never forgive him. No matter what he might have lost. And so he clenched his fists even harder, gathering all his courage, and turned around to face him.

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Author's Note: Courage, dear Snow! This too, is part of growing up. 😌

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