1 Chapter 1
R.O.B was tired of reading about how Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore was the greatest wizard of all time and how he craps rainbows. Fanfictions were a welcomed diversion of his, so when a web-novel site started up a competition on Potter fanfiction, he was frustrated when the majority glorified the dark wizard.
He had personally watched Harry Potter's miserable life unfold after he was made aware of that multiverse, and could not be more disappointed with the ending. Or pretty much how any of it played out. When J.K Rowling finished her Harry Potter series, and the wizarding world was introduced to Earth's culture, R.O.B had been thrilled to read something new and exciting.
As a Random Omnipotent Being, he was one of many that used Earth to stave off the ultimate enemy, boredom. The planet 'Earth' seemed to be a nexus for the multiverse, as most of the legends or fantasies turned into books, existed in reality. If one had the power, these realities could be accessed and used for one's entertainment.
But this also caused cosmic protection protocols to activate. As soon as that reality was meddled with, the universe would create an alternate dimension to protect that reality from imploding with conflicting energies or upsetting the laws of creation. A failsafe that R.O.Bs like himself used to keep themselves entertained.
So when he came across a geek in a flame war denouncing Dumbledore, he smiled to himself and sent out a kill contract to the R.O.Bs most favourite hitman, Truck-kun. Since he did not directly end the life of the poor sap, it would satisfy the basic rules set up to keep the Earth from being destroyed by godly beings. A rather obvious way to undermine the edict, but it none the less kept the world mostly untouched.
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Chado_Sama, as he liked to be called online, had just turned off his computer in disgust, he could not continue talking to those ignorant peons without having an aneurysm. He had been reading through the different Harry Potter fanfictions when he checked the comments to see if anyone else disagreed with the utter tripe that was burning his eyes with its stupidity. Dumbledore was being hailed as the Light Lord and could do no wrong.
Unfortunately, it was not to be. He browsed through the multitude of comments acknowledging Dumbledore as the paragon of light and was horrified that he was alone in his beliefs. The most they would accept was that he was a little misguided. This had led to a flame war in the comment section as he tried to 'enlighten' these poor souls to the greatest Dark Lord of the Potterverse.
After being outnumbered and sick of the abuse from the ignorant masses, he turned his computer off and decided to go for a walk to clear his mind. Just as he stepped off the curb to cross the street, he heard an almost mocking 'beep beep' before he blacked out.
Truck-kun had flawlessly reaped another life.
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"Where am I?" Said Chad as he suddenly came to in an unfamiliar room.
He was sitting across from what one would stereotypically associate as a wise old man. Long white beard and hair, aged face and dressed in flowing white robes. As the fire in an ornate fireplace crackled, he couldn't help but feel fear at the sudden change of environment. He last remembered going for a walk, now he was is a plush leather chair in a room that could be considered cosy and inviting.
"Hello Chad, you are in my personal dimensional pocket. I'm afraid you have died, but the good news is that I can offer you a choice! You can either go on to the circle of reincarnation with your memories wiped clean, or you can be reborn into the Potterverse!" Said the old man with a decidedly mischievous twinkle in his eye.
Before Chad could cry, angrily shout, or even question his demise, R.O.B clicked his fingers causing the walls to change. Suddenly, the emptiness of space was now disturbingly surrounding them with a clear view of Earth in the distance. It was terrifying, that emptiness guaranteeing death, there was no way this was a trick.
Gathering his thoughts as best he could, he asked the usual questions anyone would when finding themselves in this situation. The answers turned out to be what he feared.
- Yes, he really was dead.
- No, he could not return to his old life.
- Call him Rob, yes R.O.B
- He died in an accident crossing the street.
"Wait, that 'beep beep' noise, Truck-kun! you had me killed by the biggest serial killer known to man!" Chad said in disbelief, up until now, he had always giggled when he read about Truck-kun, the go-to assassin of the gods. Now he was outraged he had died such a meaningless death.
"I know, right! Truck-kun is a master at what he does, nobody questions a hit and run victim." Laughed Rob as he watched Chad get angry at the injustice of his death.
"Look, the fact of the matter is that you now have a chance to be reborn into a world just like your Earth but with magic. And in my humble opinion, one of the better realities of the multiverse. I could always put you into the Narutoverse, a world full of murderous magical ninjas that seek to destroy all life on the planet if you like?" Said Rob condescendingly, no one would willingly want to reborn into that word of death.
Shaking his head in the negative, Chad quickly realised he did not want to piss this Random Omnipotent Being off and could only choose one of the two options he was presented with. Since he quite liked his current personality, he was not going to reincarnate without his memories.
That left being reborn into Potterverse. Hopefully, he could be born in the 1800s so he could create an empire of his own like Great Britain or the other superpowers of the age. It would be much more interesting than dealing with Dark Lord Dumbledore and watching that pathetic excuse for a wizard, Harry Potter!
It's not even a name worthy of a wizard. Harry Potter is the name of a common peasant, not a powerful lord bending reality to his will! No thank you, Chad decided he would be picking a different era to work his magic in! How easy would it be to take a country like Australia for himself and set himself up as a king, he wouldn't even have to deal with the pureblood families of England.
"So, Rob, can I pick what year and which family I'm born in?"
"Of course not, I want to see Dumbledore get his comeuppance, not you doing whatever you want! That is the whole reason I chose you for this. You seem to hold my opinion that Dark Lord Dumbles needs to be exposed for the evil villain he is! If he didn't fall for the curse on the resurrection stone in his greed, he would have been unstoppable! Your soul will be inserted into young Harry when Voldemort kills his family and hits him with the AK curse. Use this time before Hogwarts, so you are not a complete failure like the original Harry Potter." Explained Rob.
"Oh come on, Harry Potter is a joke! Worst wizard name ever, and he is always under scrutiny for anything he does. Can't I be some random muggle-born wizard orphan or something?" Chad complained.
"Where is the fun in that? I want you to change Harry from a complete moron that does not study magic or his lineage as a proper Lord of a Noble and Most Ancient House. I mean, the kid just keeps going back to the Dursleys every year when he is one of the wealthiest people in the wizarding world! Not to mention that he is part of the peerage and had countless ways to fix his situation. So many things that annoy me with his character!" Ranted the omnipotent being.
Chad could only agree, any child that has been treated like Harry would have jumped at the chance to learn magic and reap vengeance on his abusers. What an idiot, it's not even a commendable trait to just forgive them as Dudley still terrorises the neighbourhood children. Since Chad had to be Harry Potter, he would not be following the originals decisions or creed.
Still, Harry Potter really was a terrible choice. Voldemort could be handled without even breaking a sweat, the real problem was Dumbledore. He could read minds and control his life with the power as his magical guardian. Chad would have to keep a low profile until he had the strength to oppose Dumbledore.
"Do I get any cheats or wishes?" He asked, hoping for an edge to help him in his new world.
"Are you kidding me? If you need help to become overpowered in the Potterverse, then you deserve to be tortured by the Dursleys. It is a world filled to the brim with wizards with no common sense. The smartest magical is Hermione, a little girl that could only be considered average in any other environment. Eleven-year-olds can bend reality to their will on their first day of school, and you need wishes to help you?" Rob asked with so much scorn that Chad was a little embarrassed.
"Umm yeah sorry, just asking. So I choose to be reborn as Harry Potter." He said, trying to change the subject. Chad felt like an idiot for asking a R.O.B for powers, he should just be happy he was not being reborn as a girl for his sick amusement. Still, a game system or eidetic memory would have been pretty bad arse.
"Good, your only mission is to make Harry Potter better than the original reject he was and expose Dumbledore for the Dark Lord he is. I don't even care if you don't kill him or become a Dark Lord that is worse than he is. Just as long as his facade as the righteous leader of light is ripped off. When you die, if you do a good job, I will grant you a single reasonable wish. Don't fail me!"
With a click of Rob's fingers, Chad disappeared.
