Reluctants

I pulled my knife back into the scabbard and bowed to the circle. I'm sorry... for all the pain you will endure. I could've erased all the potential pains, but didn't out of purely selfish reasons.

It's all my fault and for that, I apologise.

"Hey! Kids!" I shouted out, attracting everyone's attention. Whispers of me started to form.

Raising my index finger to my mouth I spoke loud and clear, "Don't tell anyone about this alright? If you don't, I'll come back with yummy snacks" I forced a smiled to make me seem friendly.

I'd come back anyways... I don't think my conscience can take leaving them this way forever...

Exiting the room, my pulse stabilised and my breathing calmed.

"Stay alive in there," I whispered underneath my breath noticing that I was still wearing the dirty cloak.

Boy am I glad that Felix didn't ask about this...

I looked through the window to find that fog had settled down on the capital. Guess I was too spaced out to notice...

It's weird, but my body seems to be generating enough heat for me to stay warm even though I've never been in such a cold place before. Part of the no longer human thing I guess...

Alright, Amber, you human GPS. I believe the way back to the hotel is that way! I pointed towards a random direction.

"Really hope my luck isn't fading at this point." I hopped onto an alley in the upper levels of the capital from the top. Not wanting to be spiderman I walked the streets like a normal person with my hood up.

With buildings built from stone and decorated by wood. The streets were filled with people in fancy dresses and suits. Snow shoved to the side equally. Unlike the lower levels where I remained hidden in the crowd with my cloak, here I stick out like a sore thumb.

Most people seem to avoid eye contacts with me... not that I blame them.

I walked towards the big staircase and walked down till I recognized a street.

Trying to clean my hands from any trace of blood I might've gotten from the transmutation circle, I remembered Alfie...

Oh my... it's tea time...

Oh my... it's time to die...

I slowly walked up the stairs to my room with the wooden stair creaking every step like a bell ringing, preparing for my demise. Taking a deep breath I opened my door.

Immediately an arrow came flying in my direction, aiming for my face. Expecting danger, I was on guard and managed to grab the arrow right before it touched my face with a small smile to maybe calm Alfie down.

"Where. Were. You,"

"Hahahahahahahahahaha... I'm so sorry I swear I won't wander off again" I got to the ground and begged for my life, laughing nervously.

"Where. Were. You," Alfie said, crossing her arms and having a smile that's just that little bit too wide.

"U-Uhh exploring... the streets..." My reply made Alfie raise an eyebrow in doubt.

"So if I go ask around if people have seen you, they'll say yes, right?"

"No... I... was... uhh... undercover... in the shadows... walking around."

"Mhm?"

"Yeah... just that I've never seen snow before,"

Why do I suck at lying?! Why can't I be like Misa?!

"She's not lying, none of us has ever seen snow before," Shin stood behind me, leaning on the door's frame.

Picking myself up, I struggled to find the right words to say, "See?" The only word I had the guts to mutter out with Shin.

Alfie reluctantly gave up on investigating what I did and went down for breakfast.

That went... smoother than I thought.

"Thanks for covering," I smiled towards Shin for him to only receive it with a disgusted glare. Not unexpected... I sighed and walked out of the room, following Alfie.

"I'm not gonna stop hating you," Shin spoke, making me pause for a moment.

"I know... and there's nothing I can do about it so are you gonna come to eat? I know my words are nothing but empty to you... though I won't poison you."

"And why would I trust you? Unfortunately, trust is a one-time thing,"

"Fine, I'll speak like the villain you want me to be. If I wanted you dead, I would kill you myself. It's more satisfying that way, for both of us. Wouldn't you agree?"

You knowing that you were right and me seeing you die painfully...

Shin replied with only silence.

At that moment I imagined Shin screaming in pain and he declared that he was right... I don't want that... not in my conscience...

Looking past all the hatred he holds for me, I only see a normal trusting dude. I betrayed that trust. I'm the only one to blame.

"Continue hating me if you want, annoy me if you want okay? Just when we have to get serious, put the grudge aside. I don't wanna die because you can't get over it, now just come eat. Breakfast is important," I lingered on the top of the staircase, waiting for a response of any kind.

Shin silently walked down, passing me, whispering "I'm not eating because you asked".

Sometimes I think the hate is justified... sometimes it just seems so childish...

I'm glad I'm finally back though. Never knew a single night could last so long.