1 The 'god' Complex

I've been in love twice now, both times with the same guy. Both times the amount of faith I put in my love life dwindles.

I'm taking a huge hit. I'm 29 years old. I've been saving myself for the - strike that - A one, and so far its never been one I want it to be.

I rationalized a long time ago that the man I marry might not be someone I'm in love with, but as long as I respect and admire that man, I'll grow to love him.

And that's rational. I still believe that.

Sometimes, love happens fast, other times it just happens.

I'm just losing hope in this timeline...

Do I wait for God to align the stars of myself and this amazing believer who I can wake up and pray with and read Qur'an to and raise children with?

or...

Do I accept a life wherein I'll be waking up and praying alone with a guy who shares none/some of my beliefs but he's still amazing anyway?

I'm 29. My body is starting to sound louder than my conscience.

I'm not worried that I'm waiting for nothing. I'm worried that the longer I wait, the more resentment I'll feel towards my faith.

I don't want to be angry with God.

We all know what desire feels like.

End script.