1 Red Daihatsu

"Are you sure?"

Picking the books from the center table, I glanced up at my sister who was  peeking up from the couch, her  eyebrows raised.

I smiled. "Affirmative."

"Okay." Bisma drawled, and then gave a nod. "See you at night then. Bye."

Hurriedly taking the keys from the hook above the teapoy, I started towards the main door.

"You're not taking the scarf with you today?"

I stopped and arched my body to look at her and found her staring at me, poised in the same manner as before. I shurgged. "No."

"Ready to have a bad day, then?"

A soft laugh escaped my mouth. Merely calling some thing lucky doesn't make it lucky. I never believed in such superstitions anyway. Things don't make you lucky, or unlucky for that matter. You just are lucky. Or you can make yourself lucky by praying. "As if. Tell father to not wait for me at dinner."

"Sure." Bisma chirped and turning around she dropped back onto the couch. "Bye." I heard her say, almost as an afterthought and securing the heavy weight of the thick medical books in my arms, I started forward.

Taking brisk steps, I walked through the door and strode towards the driveway. Baba Farid was already waiting for me by my car, and at his sight I unconsciously squared my shoulders and raised my chin, strutting on my heels with a haughty swagger. He opened the front door once I approached and I climbed in, securing my seat. The door was closed and after inserting the key into the ignition, I started the engine of my Daihatsu Copen I demanded be given to me at the start of college. Father obliged of course, he had never said no to us. The gates already stood ajar and I revved out of the house, heading towads college.

As much as I hated the hectic routine of the module, it was admittedly no doubt the most fascinating of them all. Horried and equally awed I had stared with numbed senses, wide eyed, rooted to the ground, the complicated and grosteque process of labor unfolding in front of me. Agonized shrieks of the women, coaxing husbands by the side, and an ushering doctor between the legs, all of it made a sight so petrifying my blood went cold by the screams. But then the baby would peek, initially there would only be just a head, and if the woman was lucky the rest of it came out quick, else it took a lot more than a few minutes. And then there was the digusting glob of meat at the end. You guessed right - placenta.

The labor and the OR had both been tiring, only allowing me to be home as late as eight at night. But on the other hand the horror and exhaustion was always taken over by the fondness and awe for what had just been transpired. I mean really, there is beauty in every work of Allah. Just look how He makes things possible. Even though the women were drained of energy, their faces contorted in fatigue, they'd forget their pain and would  ask the nurse if the baby was alright. To know that this was worth all the searing torment made incredulity seep up to my heart. In the start I had second thoughts about ever giving birth, but now, well now I thought I was up for it.

The module was almost to an end now though, within a week we'd have our viva and then in a couple days the final exam, and as extraordinary as it was, I'd really take a sigh of relief when it'll be over for good. And yeah, I didn't want to persue it for specialisation.

---

My head resting on the couch, eyes closed, I had taken refuge in the staff lounge subsequently excusing myself after the hours of the clinic, wanting a tea break. It had hardly been only a minute since I had settled down after preparing myself a cup of tea when I heard someone plop down beside me, and I knew without looking that it was Ramlah.

" 'sup?" She chirped.

I hummed in responce, thinking if I remained in the same position for a minute long I might very well doze off.

"You heard about the module break plan?"

My eyebrows clamped together. "What?"

"So there's a fifth year Bilal is friends with. His uncle owns a farmhouse and Bilal and guys were wondering that since Gynea felt like an entire year, we could go someplace to - he said and I'll quote - netflix and chill."

I felt the urge to roll my eyes even though they were closed. "Of course he said that."

"So Bilal asked the fifth year and he was like, I already had plans with my buddies and if you guys have no issue being there with them, then we can sure come along."

I lifted my shoulders lightly in a shrug. "It's totally fine."

"I know. So yeah, we're going now."

"Oh thank God." I opened my eyes and moved my head to look at her. "We deserve a holiday."

Ramlah grinned and gave a nod, her gold earrings swung lightly with the move. "Tell me about it."

"It's a relief honestly. I've been thinking what I wanted to do in the weeks."

"I know." She said, tucking a wisp of loose strands of her curls behind her ear. "So how's everything at home? Bisma agreed for the field trip?"

"Yeah."

"Hey," putting a hand on my arm, she scooted closer, "what's wrong Mashal? Why all gloomy?"

I sighed inwardly, peering at her round chubby face. "It's second September. My uncle-"

"Left. Right, how can I forget. I am so sorry. How are you feeling?"

"I've reacted worse on this. I'm fine, yeah." I smiled faintly. "Just a little sad." I didn't think, regardless of how many years it'll be, that I'd ever be not ready for this day. I always saw it coming a week before, but until the very day I didn't allow myself to brood. While I was heartbroken by his sudden abandonment, I couldn't help but feel resentment for leaving me like that - without prior warning, without any excuse.

"Cheer up, Mashal. Think about all the fun we'd have while on our break instead. The more you will allow yourself to plunge into old memories the more it's gonna hurt you."

"Hm." I smiled faintly.

"Oh, yeah," she suddenly perked up, as if remembering something. "Bilal was looking for you."

"Anything important?" I arched an eyebrow and asked even though I highly suspected it. Bilal could talk about anything but important. Lately, I thought I had gleaned from his body language and unusual stuttering that he'd been trying to bring himself to confessing he liked me.

Let's see when that day comes.

"I don't think so." Ramlah shrugged and with a pat on my hand she rose to her feet. "Got to go Mashal, I really don't want to run into Doctor Muz in the corridor again. See you later."

"Sure." I mouthed and saw her walk out of the lounge.

---

The day got me like none other. By the time I got free and was finally allowed to go home, it was pretty late, late than usual. Taking my books and draping the labcoat over my arm, I picked my sethescope from the locker - careful not to drop it - and hurried out of the college campus and sauntered towards the parking. Due to the long walk I already broke into a sweat and cursing the buggy for not being there when I wanted it, I strode through people that walked to and fro the hospital building, some on the road, others on the pedestrian path pushing wheel chair patients to get to the building.

In the small parking spot up the steep road, there was no sight of life apart from a car that had its engine running. I strode to the corner where I remembered I had parked my Daihatsu, and upon reaching it I place my stuff on the back seat, spreading the labcoat neatly so it wouldn't get creases and walked around to get to the driver's seat.

I'd call this day a progress, in terms of emotional state. Of course the credit goes to the hectic routine but even in the free moments I had tried my best to not think about the misery that transpired almost fifteen years ago. It was honestly stupid to hold on to it after such a long time. After all there's something called moving on. But I was stupid . . . Maybe I wasn't stupid. Maybe I just wanted a closure, maybe I only wanted my questions answered.  Maybe that's what I needed to soothe my ever jittery and anxious nerves.

Making sure my phone was in my clutch, I pulled the front door but just as I was about to get in I felt a presence behind me. My heart immediately took a leap and I whipped around only to collide into a long figure. Letting out an involuntary but barely audible gasp, I tried to back away and opened my mouth to call attention, but before I could have done anything substantial, the man with a mask caught me by the wrist and pressed something soft and wet against my nose. A sharp bitter tang went down my throat and my eyes pricked with a stinging sensation. Before I knew it, everything was spinning and darkness spread.