Secrets

Secretly I wished I was a different person, that way maybe the guy that had my heart wouldn't have chose the other girl over me. I've had a lot of things growing up and sometimes I also didn't have a lot of things growing up. For instance, I grew up without a dad however I did grow up with my grandma, my mom and my two sisters.

Despite being happy with myself sometimes, I wish I was someone else. Anyone else but me however most people wouldn't be able to tell unless you went inside my brain. My smile hides it all. However bright I smile, my eyes twinkle, and yet you still can't see the sadness hidden behind them.

Some people wish to be me or be like me. However I wouldn't want anyone else in my shoes. I wouldn't want anyone else to feel the loneliness trying to crush your heart or even trying to release the loneliness by trying to make friends that build the anxiety in my chest.

I know I'm not alone but the voice in my head says something else. It screams that I am.

"Maddie" I could hear the sounds of my older sister calling out to me but she's not here.

"Mads" I could hear the sounds of my friends calling out but they're not here.

"Madison" I could hear the sounds of my dad calling out but he's the one who left first.

They left me and here I am to rot. Like some vegetable left behind in the refrigerator.

I've been left to rot in my own depression.