2 Chapter 2: The opened eyes, the confusion, chasing the stars, Rowen, and the first person….

It was a strange feeling.

Truly strange.

As soon as I opened my eyes, my first thought was-

I am supposed to be dead, right?

Being hit by lighting, I should be deader than dead…

I remember it, my body melting and my vision fading away...

So, what is this..?

Illusion..?

Afterlife, maybe..?

But, why is everything so groggy and slow…

It felt as if something was disconnected.

Creating a nagging feeling in back of my head that something irreversible has happened. That feeling, I readily suppressed.

Then, it clicked-

The feeling, the senses, they all returned and they were too vivid to be unreal...

The world was too vivid to be unreal...

Maybe it was my poor brain's fault. It was just so low on processing power, that I couldn't even recognize this familiar yet unfamiliar atmosphere of the room.

But it isn't completely hopeless, I guess.

Because I know this room, a hospital, no, a patient's room.

The penetrating smell of disinfectant washed over my brain, giving it a moment of respite and much needed rest.

Deciding to rest my brain, I tried to move my body. And the result was...passing, I guess?

It was like moving a rusted machine, it just won't move...

Was I sleeping for a long time?

Just how much time has passed?

Don't tell me...!?

I became an old man without knowing it!?

A terrible headache came just in time, as if to prevent me from overthinking...

But anyways, I was thankful.

Why?

Well, I have heard from many people that it's normal to not being able to feel some of their body parts after coming out of coma, but I can feel them without any problem. I can't move them, sure, but I can at least feel them…

That's why I was thankful...

Actually, this was not the first time.

I had a bad case of asthma when I was little, so I had to stay in hospitals and sometimes those stays extended to months. So, I was familiar with this rusted feeling which owned my body. It was never this bad, but still, it wasn't something impossible to overcome.

So, I gave up moving my body and just laid down, observing the situation and surroundings.

I was convinced that this was a patient's bed, but some things were a bit strange.

The first thing I noticed was the bed. It was unnecessarily huge. Why in the world would a patient, an old man, would need a king-sized bed??

(A/N: He thinks he got old).

But that was not the end, rather it was just the start.

Small discrepancies, which I normally wouldn't notice, were slowly being registered in my mind, and despite suffering a migraine, my mind worked on overdrive.

The huge and extravagant bed, a chandelier rather than a ceiling fan or AC, which can only be considered as an antique from 1800s, was glowing God knows how like an LED, along with the old wooden style of the room, furniture and window-

All sorts of thoughts started running through my mind, only coming to halt with a single question…

IS THIS REALLY THE WORLD I KNOW!?

 Confusion, despair, and terror gripped me, tearing me apart…

With a rusty body and fragile mind, I did the only thing I could. Try not to overthink, try to calm down, try to get a grip.

-tick

-tock

-tick

-tock

The sound of the clock helped me calm down, as if it affirmed my existence.

I don't know how much time passed.

I couldn't understand the clock here.

1 hour, 2 hours, 3 hours, maybe more maybe less but it was time used well.

Finally, I drew some conclusions to so as not to get a panic attack.

-First, wherever I was, this place was unusual, not your normal hospital.

-Second, I was well treated, but I don't think I can resist the one keeping me here.

-Third, this place was super high tech.

This place though looked old-school but was actually quite advanced. Like how even without AC or ceiling fan, the temperature was kept under control. Likewise, the chandelier was doing such a great job of illuminating the room that I couldn't even see the shadows of furniture, except for the light outlines and even these thin sheets were a piece of art, giving just enough warmth to my chest while being much warmer on my legs.

Though, I was full of admiration for these things, I wasn't idle.

I couldn't afford to be.

For the whole time I spent thinking, I tried, tried, and kept trying to move my body.

And the result - at least I could move my arms and upper body a bit.

Actually, that in itself was a surprising result.

So, deciding to reward myself a bit I reached out to what looked like an antique night stand, to get a water jug which stood atop it.

Honestly, with all that thinking along with just getting out of coma, my throat was parched. And yes, I have been eyeing that jug for a long time.

So, without bothering to get a glass or anything else, not like I could do so in my current condition, I directly bought it to my lips and drank.

It was hard to actually drink, my position was awkward and the jug felt heavy to lift while water just kept in coming. But still, I was glad. At least it was just water and not some suspicious medicinal drink, that I half expected it to be.

I was doing good. Surprisingly, good in fact just by not choking myself on the water. Feeling satisfied, I placed the jug back with some difficulty and wiped my mouth on my sleeve.

It was then, that I noticed it and a silly voice leaked out of my mouth-

"Ehhhhh!!!!?????"

No matter how ill I was, no matter how long I was asleep, no matter how bony my hand got, it couldn't, shouldn't and wouldn't be this SMALLL!!!??

-Just what the fuck was going on here!!?

Just when I thought things will calm down, just when I thought, I should take things slow... just how the fuck did my hand got smaller, wait-

-Was this even my own body...!?

Things just got desperate.

Now, I couldn't wait. I flipped the sheets off me and tried to lift myself, but that was just useless effort. My back muscles were absolutely stiff, there was just no way I could sit up. Not this fast, not now.

But I couldn't just stay still now, could I!?

Not during an identity crisis.

So, I searched, searched and kept searching. With only my head and hands, trying to look around the room as best as I could to find something, anything, that can prove, that I am 'me'.

Eventually, my gaze found a mirror, a mirror too far to be useful.

-Just why the hell is this room so big!?

-Just what can I do...??

-I can't move, can't get up, can't walk...

-I can't even see my face….

-Just how helpless have I become….

I tossed and turned my head, while whining and wallowing, trying to flip using the momentum, only to see it-

-Myself

No matter how distorted, no matter how unclear, as soon as I saw it, I knew - that was me.

As if someone had written it deep in my mind, I knew it, that was me.

It was me!

It was me!

It was me, alright!

I didn't know seeing my face being reflected on a water jug could give me this much joy.

Gone were the despair and confusion, instead, I was filled with happiness and thrill.

It was as if I was a preschooler who got his favorite candy.

But just knowing wasn't enough.

I wanted just one more look, just one more glance, it was as if I was trying to carve my appearance in myself and label it as me, so that I won't forget it.

So, I looked, I remembered, I carved and I marveled, those sky-blue hair, a shade so light that they shone indescribable cyan, fluttering around asunder in the evening sun as if dancing in the wind. Those big wide-open cyan eyes, shining, a bit puffy due to the tears slowly rolling out of them, but still reflecting a bit of amber in them. Those thin, a bit chapped lips, and that small nose.

As soon as, I completed the picture, I felt it. The little uncomfortable feeling, the nagging feeling that this is not me, disappear.

And then, the world stilled.

The evening sun disappeared, the bed disappeared, the jug, the mirror, the room, everything disappeared.

What was left was me, my image of myself, and the dark world around me.

Not completely dark, but a world with tiny little shining objects, stars, which were so close, yet so far.

It felt like I was in the infinite space, watching and reaching for each star. No, I was actually chasing them, for their glow kept getting brighter and brighter.

So bright, that I couldn't open my eyes and yet, it only kept getting brighter.

My body which I could surprisingly move now, was being dragged against my will towards the stars.

And then finally, I reached them. But, I didn't stop, no, I couldn't stop.

I dived straight into the star, and the star-

-Flasheedddd!!!

And once again, I felt it - the disconnected feeling. It was much stronger now, but strangely though, I felt no discomfort as if it was natural.

And then memories, memories which didn't belong to me started appearing in my mind. It was a unique experience, like watch a movie in 7D.

(A/N: hypothetical)

The memories of a boy kept appearing in my mind, for a while, until they stopped.

I knew who the boy was.

He was me... but not myself. He was... the previous me.

The movie stopped, prompting me to open my eyes only to see that the star near me was gone, no, more like it was snuffed out.

Giving me no time to rest or understand the situation, once again, I was dragged. Just like before without my will, getting closer and closer to another star out there.

No matter how dull I was, I knew now, I had transmigrated.

But instead of panic, I felt calm.

The strange scene continued, again and again and again. I reached for the stars and snuffed them out.

They were memories.

Memories of this body.

Memories of the boy who lived before me.

These memories were randomly jumbled, but even then, I could still feel something. Something familiar, something strange, something I knew but just couldn't connect...

I just calmed my mind, started searching, rolling through the memories. From the new ones to the old, trying to remember just what I was missing, but to no avail.

I kept thinking, I kept rolling and I kept snuffing. Still trying to find it... only for it to slip away, for a long time.

My trance ended only when I noticed something strange, don't get me wrong the whole situation is strange, but I noticed something even stranger.

The star, the one I was reaching out for was swelling, literally swelling. It swelled and swelled and swelled some more and then-

-BOOOMMMM!!!

Exploded in a ridiculously bright light.

No memories acquired.

And like nothing happened, I was once again dragged to another star. This time the process being successful.

But I felt no joy, why?

Cause I could see a plethora of other stars swelling, on the verge of exploding.

It was then that I felt a sense of urgency like never before, and the thought of wasting my brain power to chase 'that something' was chased away as I tried to think of a way to increase the memories acquired.

Actually, there was nothing I could do. I couldn't resist the dragging force nor could I change my direction, but I could at least think, right?

So, while I was being dragged away, I tried to think of a way while doing a breaststroke in the dark world, and as expected it was futile.

I tried some other things, but they were useless too.

It was then that I thought, 'Since I can't resist, I should go with the flow, right?'

So, I somehow urged myself to be dragged faster.

It did nothing at first, but surprisingly, I could feel myself speeding up while concentrating, it was like those toys that ran on concentration or something.

(T/N: There are toy cars that can be controlled by concentrating, they actually use brain waves, but the you have to concentrate to move them.)

Yet, as soon as I understood this I slowed down again. Understandably, my concentration broke, but my mood improved.

'At least, I got a way!'

What happened next was pretty obvious, I pushed out other unnecessary thoughts and concentrated, at least tried to, sometimes succeeding, sometimes not.

Slowly but surely, I was getting used to it.

The stars exploding in background were good distractions, but I continued to do my thing anyway. Trying not to pay them any mind but just how could I not!?

Those were precious memories which could help me in this world! After all, who knows what I have in the store for me? So now, I could no longer play the 'I'm dumb, I'm pitiful' card.

'I know I transmigrated, and I had to do whatever I could to capitalize my benefits.'

Thinking as such, I strengthened my will and kept chasing the stars.

I was hard, and quite exhausting, to be honest. I had to concentrate for what felt like hours, to keep going faster, to get one more star, to get one more bundle of memories. In fact, I even got back the headache which I felt earlier and it was only getting worse.

But, I didn't stop, I continued chasing them. Chasing and chasing and chasing, and stopped only when a single star was left.

This star, was in good condition. I know that feels awkward to say that but the star wasn't swelling, nor was it shining brightly. It was giving off a gentle white light, as if telling me to relax, telling me that it wasn't going anywhere, as if it was placed here for me.

Of course, that was my own interpretation. Maybe this was simply an important memory for the boy or something. Whatever it was, it was the last one and I could relax now.

'It would have been good, if every other star was this obedient.', I sighed. Even when I tried my best, more than half of those memories exploded. What a waste.

-Huuu

I tried to stop thinking about it and took a deep breath, loosening my shoulders as if relaxing them. Well, I knew this was not my real body and all, as my real body is really stiff, it won't move, but it was my own relaxing gesture, an old habit of mine, I guess.

Well, all it matters was that it worked well.

Also, what better ways were there to relax, other than watching a memory.

So, I did just that.

As the last star brightened.

Once again it engulfed me as I dived within.

-Flassshhhh!!!

Just like every memory, I was watching it like a movie. From a third person's perspective, and just as the first scene played out, my mood went into gutter. All my thoughts of relaxing, down to the drain.

Why?

Cause it was a fucking hospital bed again!!

This time, instead of me, there was a woman lying there, looking so weak, so fragile, as if she was someone who would break with the slightest touch... but even then, she smiled.

A smiled filled with bitter feelings, longing and exhaustion.

A smile of someone who had resigned themselves.

Even so, her smile was not weak. Even if there were there were bitter feelings, even if there was longing in it, that wasn't all. It wasn't all it had!

It had something else, something which I was deprived from in that world and from the looks of it, in this one too….

It had love, several times more than anything else, it had love.

Parental love.

Surpassing all other feelings, the smile overflowed with love.

I couldn't see her face, nor could I see anything else clearly, but I could feel her love from her soft gaze, and gentle touch as she caressed the boy's cheek.

The boy here was 4–5-year-old version of myself, maybe he didn't understand the situation, or maybe he was just too small.

He was quiet, he didn't say anything just enjoyed the woman's touch, and listened as she spoke,

-Listen carefully, and remember my child-

As she spoke, her bearings changed,

Gone was the woman on her deathbed, gone was her smile. The woman here was an empress, noble beyond compare, dignity and nobleness literally oozing out of her, as if unable to keep itself compressed in such a small vessel and spread into the surroundings, changing the atmosphere at her will.

She continued,

-my one and only child, always remember, for you are the only Ellsworth heir. You shall never do something that shames you or besmirches the Ellsworth, nor shall you let anyone else do so-

Her, tone once again changed, so did her bearing. Now, all I could see now was a mother who loved her child, a mother who felt guilty about the burden on those small little shoulders. The mother every bit worried about her child, continued...

-but, that doesn't mean you have to limit yourself. Instead enjoy yourself to the fullest, laugh so much that even the world gets shy, so much that those hateful tears never reach your eyes. Help someone. Make friends with someone. And fall for someone,

Another gentle touch, this time rather than the cheek, a pat to the head, but it was not a simple pat, something golden shone on her palm, a warm gentle light, glowing golden, slowly but surely, seeped in the child's head, maybe it was too much for the child, as his face instantly turned sleepy, but the mother whispered in his ears anyway,

-for this is my last gift to you, just do as you wish and for you, Rayne Von Ellsworth, the whole Rowen will be your stage.

I who was already upset, suddenly blanked at the last sentence, then it clicked-

The similarities, the familiarities and that feeling which simply slipped away, they all clicked, all matched, just by one sentence,

"The whole Rowen will be your stage."

And I opened my eyes, it was just me and the world, without any stars, so full of darkness, so tranquil, so desolate.

And so annoyingly unbearable that all I wanted was to this destroy this tranquil atmosphere..

-ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!??

-THE WHOLE ROWEN WILL BE YOUR STAGE!!???

-THE WHOLE ROWEN, MY ASSS!!!

-WHY WOULD MY ROWEN, BE MY STAGE!!!??

-Why am I in Rowen anyways!!??

-No more like, how can I be in Rowen!??

-Isn't it just a fantasy world I created, so how!!??

-AND, WHO THE FUCKING HELL IS THIS RAYNE VON ELLSWORTH, HOW DO I NOT REMEMBER WRITING ABOUT HIM, EVER!!!????

As if to tell me that it doesn't give two shits about me, the dark world vanished.

-Crack!

Shattered, just like that. Disappearing just as abruptly it appeared and I found myself staring back at my own distorted reflection on the jug, as if I was never gone. Just this time, I was not so eager, not so happy. Now, full of confusion and not so much of rage...

Looks like a change of pace was strictly needed there, and I got one, I guess?

At least, I knew now that I couldn't swear like a madman here.

I looked towards the clock which I couldn't read before and confirmed one thing. First, I could at least read and write here. Second, no time passed in this world, which meant this was a problem.

Someone who could do this, stopping someone's time, someone who could do such a ridiculous feat, can only be one of the last bosses of this book, or someone or something entirely else.

And disturbingly, my mind was leaning towards the later.

Maybe someone was at work, someone behind the scenes, someone in the shadows... Now that I think about it, that lighting, was it really natural!?

I mean, what are the chances for it to strike me, in that exact location, in that exact time.

Shock and terror filled my heart.

I-If... if there was really such an entity then wouldn't it mean that my life is nothing but a play for it.

Maybe I am just a character, dancing on someone's palm, doing whatever he wants. Maybe even my thoughts are controlled by it.

Just the thought chilled my spine as my whole body erupted with goosebumps.

Being someone's puppet was just that terrifying.

I felt cold, a terrifying cold, despite being in a room with perfect temperature.

I knew it was of no use. If there was really something like that, then there was no way I can escape from them. Escape my ass, I don't think I can even touch them.

I don't know how many times this was today already, but my mind once again exploded.

I felt as if, I was getting dumber with each passing second and eventually, I laughed.

-HAHAHAHAHAAAAHAHAAHHAHAA

I laughed like a madman, hysterically, and kept laughing for a long time, I don't know when but slowly my laughs turned into sobs and I started crying, outright.

-UUUAWWWHHHAHHHHAAAAAHHH

I don't know what to do.

Maybe, today's mental rollercoaster was too much for me, or I was finally letting it all out, but the crying didn't stop.

The loss that I felt of leaving my old world, my married older sis, my chilled-out friends, my old nagging granny, the sexy Ms. Miller, who was giving me a bit more attention nowadays. All of it, I just let it go.

I cried, cried, and cried, till I couldn't anymore.

And like a loser who has lost everything I just laid there, on the bed all alone, with an arm over my eyes.

I watched the chandelier, from the little gap between my arm and my face, as it started glowing a bit brighter.

Thanks to that I noticed that the setting sun was long gone and darkness crept up, dying the world black, but I must say the chandelier really did its job well.

The room was still so well lit that I couldn't find any dark corners or shadows.

-Huuuuu

I sighed, looks like crying worked. Just the fact that, I could notice such things meant that my mind stabilized a bit.

Really, even though I looked like a kid now, I am a middle-aged man inside. What was I doing, crying my eyes out like that?

That was embarrassing, thankfully no one watched me.

I quickly wiped my eyes and nose with my sleeves, and yeah, that was nasty...

As for that 'entity' problem, I will use the code from my last life, 'Since, I can't do anything about it, I'll let it be and won't spare a thought to it'.

And problem solved, uhh, okay, not solved but pushed to the back of my mind.

Now, time for other things. Things that I can actually do something about.

So, I was in Rowen.

Rowen.

The name of this world.

Funnily, it was named after my dead dog, Robin.

And now, here I was. Transmigrated in the body of a cute little boy, Rayne Von Ellsworth.

It was a world, I wrote, I created, from its landscape, it's kingdoms, its culture, to its people and their future.

All of it.

I wrote, I directed.

Every character, every family, even the landscapes, they weren't there for the sake of being there, each of them had a purpose.

So, I remembered them. Though I can't say I know all the people in this world, I can say that I know most of the important people in this world.

And in all those people, I remember the Ellsworth's. Largest potion producers of the Empire known for their unmatched skills in alchemy.

From the memories I obtained, I know that it was year X952, but I don't know for how long this boy was sleeping for...so, I can't give an accurate answer. But now, the Ellsworth's should be headed by Earl Reynold Von Ellsworth.

The current Patriarch.

He was the leader of Ellsworth family in the early stages of plot. Of course, that is only if the world is as I knew, cause I don't remember the Count ever having a heir named Rayne.

Yet, another thing to think about...

Thinking about the plot, X952, huh??

It started already??

I wonder what she must be doing??

Considering the year, this should be her solo training arc.

The start where she goes from a little abnormal girl to a monstrous genius who finally found her talent.

But I couldn't be happy, the girl, Eva Shello, aka. The Nightingale, the main protagonist of this world was just way too tragic.

For now though, being trapped in my own body I can't do anything. In fact, I shouldn't do anything for her, for that will bring far too many demerits.

Right now, the girl was building her basics, her foundation. She has to endure this much, for only then would she truly become the Nightingale. So I shouldn't interfere, not that I could-

-Click

Bringing me back to reality, the door clicked.

I turned my gaze towards it, I was still a bit absent minded and my thoughts were jumbled as my thought process was disturbed.

So, I could only watch as the door opened and the girl, no, the maid carrying a tray with her slowly came in.

She closed the door behind her and briskly walked towards me.

The first word in mind after seeing her was-

Exotic.

And you can't blame me here.

It's not like you get to see a kitsune everyday, now do we?

And I swear, I forgot all my words when saw those bushy ears, twitching and twirling, atop her head.

Those ears had the same maroon-red shade of fur as her hair. With a different color, a beautiful white on the inside. They were so adorable, twitching every now and then like they were begging for attention.

And honestly they had it all, until my fox maid reached my night stand and something else entered my view. Another appendage, this time not twitching, but swaying.

Swaying and swirling so naturally that it was unnatural.

Just like her ears her tail had that maroon-red fur, but it was not even this time. Somewhere a bit darker, somewhere a bit lighter, creating a beautiful pattern which I couldn't understand, only to end with similar white fur.

Honestly, my gaze lingered much longer than it should have on those shapely buttocks, *ahem* I mean, on the part connecting her tail and the back, not on her buttocks definitely.

Thankfully, she didn't notice my gaze. She was in her own world, fully concentrated, as she methodically placed the tray on the night stand and started fiddling with it.

Well, that worked for me, as I observed her face and tried to remember her name.

'I should at least call her out with her name, right?'

Those orangish-red eyes, curved a little more than usual, along with a slightly less pointed face than normal kitsune...okay, I remember her alright.

'But what is she doing here?'

'Let it be, it doesn't matter anyways.', my inner voice said.

So, I let it be.

As soon as she was done with fiddling and turned towards me, I called her with a soft smile,

"H-hey, Amy, it's been a while, isn't it?", though my voice cracked I completed the sentence.

And as if the she saw a ghost, she stiffened. Her eyes meeting mine, those orangish-red gems reflected my cyan ones, as her ears stopped twitching, and her tail taking a shape of an exclamation mark as she looked at me.

There was no reply. She just placed the small beaker she had in her hand, probably my medicine, back on tray and turned around. Walking towards the door, getting faster and faster until she reached the door.

Quickly opened it, stepped through and just before closing it, she stopped, taking another look at me.

At my stupefied face. (T/N: Her reaction stupefied him.)

Once again her eyes met mine, but this time her eyes were blazing, shining as they peered into mine, just for a moment.

I knew that it was her ability, how could I not know when I was the one who designed it. One of the innate abilities kitsune had due to the blessing of [Goddess Inari], their [Ancestor Goddess].

**

[Inari's Blessing: Clearsky Eyes]

An ability to see through lies, deficit, and illusions, also helps to find weak points of magic arrays and spells, to a lesser degree.

Can only be used by female priestesses.

**

As her eyes returned to normal, she gave me something important.

The first gesture, I ever got in this world.

A smile.

A smile filled with assurance, a bit of worry and love.

And as if her smile wasn't enough to assure me, she spoke,

"Don't worry and rest for a bit Young Master, I will inform everyone and return in just a minute."

Without hearing my reply she closed the door. Well, I didn't worry. In fact, I was even sure that she will do exactly as she said and will be back in under a minute no matter how big this mansion was.

After all, I knew her. Not just through the boy's memories, but also through my own.

[Battle Maid Amelia]

Leader of Count's shadow corps.

A Priestess of Inari.

Someone who is so different when she is on duty that you will be mistaken that you saw her lookalike, or that she has a split personality.

But no, that is wrong. She is just that loyal, that faithful, that strong, that she can suppress a kitsune's stronger than normal desire to express themselves on duty only to let it all out off duty, like now.

That's how I made her character but as I heard the voice of an overly excited maid resound throughout the mansion,

"MASTEEERRRRR, YOUNG MASTER HAS WOKEN UP!!!"

I wasn't so sure.

Come on man, this is just my first day in this new world and of all the people the one I first meet was a mid-boss character!? At least let me take it easy for a while!

I complained in my heart.

Honestly, I was a bit worried when she used the [Clearsky eyes], but thankfully, she didn't notice anything. After all, no matter what, I am me, Rayne Von Ellsworth.

-Huuhuu

I sighed.

That's why I didn't want to be transmigrated here. Dangerous world, dangerous people. Thankfully, I didn't break eye contact and am a patient. So, my cold sweat could be explained like that or she would have noticed it and I would have one more thing to worry about.

But now there is no time to be worried, right?

For now is the time to calm down and prepare.

After all, I have to see and gauge how the Earl treats this unknown successor, this unknown character, called Rayne.

Plus, I can't give my new family bad first impression, now, can I?