27 6.3 The Wash

'This might actually work out better than I thought'

If there is one pet peeve Stanley had in his life it is being seen as predictable by people.

Oh, he doesn't have the aptitude like his brother so he'll end up working a dead end job at some fast food joint, renting a cheap apartment and such.

Now he's a self sufficient self made man living in a house he paid off with money he earned.

Oh, he doesn't socialize with people so he'll end up living alone with no friends eventually dying a virgin.

Now he's being spoiled by his girlfriend who is literally the sexiest woman alive.

Oh, a virgin nerd like him won't last a month before he's all up in that Lilim, it's not like he could do better.

Second month in and he's still a virgin…whether that's a good thing or not is still up for debate.

The point is when Ezraphel expected him to 'beg' for a sexual favour, how could Stanley not defy expectations by doing something no one would see coming? Upon further thought Stanley is convinced all those years of playing real time strategy games might have turned him into a low key genius.

Wash my car.

Of course one could never see the brilliance of those words at first glance but as Stanley sat on his lawn chair with shades on his face, a bucket of ice containing assorted sodas to the side and a view that was to die for he could only think to himself

'Nice job brain'

<You're welcome>

Stanley nodded to himself for how could he not pat himself on the back for duping his girlfriend into washing his car in the middle of summer? And in true Lilim fashion she managed to, without a single prompt, make it look like the sexiest thing he ever witnessed. Popping off a cold one he watched as Ezraphel, clad in a white T-shirt (tied at the bottom to show off her flat stomach) and a pair of low cut short jeans proceed to act out number eight of his top ten fantasies.

Just to reiterate, Stanley did not at all give her any sort of suggestion on what to do or what to wear aside from telling her to look up how to wash cars. He brought the car in and she came out looking like a college sorority girl in a raunchy porn flick. Of course Stanley predicted this because at this point he had established it as a fact that when left unsupervised then somehow, someway Ezraphel will find a means of being sexually explicit.

Leave her in a room with a laptop for a few minutes?

She discovers porn.

Let her clean the house?

She's topless in the backyard wiping down furniture.

Wash the car?

Suddenly it's the setup for a Brazzers video.

In her defence once he manages to uh properly appreciate the sight of Ezraphel in a wet t-shirt (she most certainly soaked deliberately) and start to pay attention to what she was doing he found that she was actually doing a pretty good job. All her movements whilst made to entice actually served a purpose in getting the car cleaned. It was very remarkable how she is able to combine the sensual movements of a stripper with the technical precision of someone who actually knows what she's doing.

Oh, now she's cleaning out the interior while twerking.

"…"

*Sip*

"Yep"

…what was he talking about?

'Eh, guess it wasn't important' he shrugged

At least not as important as what was going on in front of him, no siree.

*Sip*

Life is good.

…

On the other end of the spectrum Ezraphel was finding difficulty in her assignment. Not to say that it was difficult to clean the vehicle but she has grievances, specifically with cars in general. Over the course of several days Ezraphel had bore witness to a number of these vehicles flipping, crashing, burning and exploding in a number of 'movies' her and Stanley had watched. Stanley did not seem to think anything of this but a quick search for the number of accidents that befell these 'automobiles' running on the roads has created a stigma within the Lilim for the contraptions.

With the amount of fatal motor vehicle accidents recorded yearly Ezraphel could not fathom why her Stanley would own one of these death traps, let alone ride in it. The only thing stopping her from disposing of the thing (other than attracting her Stanley's ire) is that the man seldom left his home. She never did mention her concerns to her Stanley, mostly because he would laugh and tell her how ridiculous she sounded.

Taking advantage of the fountain of knowledge available to her Ezraphel went on a one woman crusade to assuage her fears. She had spent an entire afternoon going over the causes of these accidents and came to the conclusion that there were just too many variables to pinpoint a probable cause. From human stupidity, to problems with the vehicle itself, other drivers or even unlikely accidents, the list goes on. She could fix these problems however that would require a significant amount of magical power that is unfortunately unavailable to her at the moment.

For now what she could do is place protection spells on the vehicle itself to ensure neither it nor her Stanley would be harmed, because she knew how much he valued the blasted thing. Ezraphel arched her back while rubbing circles in the hood, ever mindful of her one man audience and how she could feel him practically raping her with his eyes.

"Wash my car."

She scoffed, she knew damn well that wasn't what he was going to say originally but she could hardly dispute the words that came out of his mouth. It was puzzling to her why he would even say such a thing in the first place. How could he say such a thing? Ezraphel had him, she did, she could see it, she could feel it and hell she could taste it, his arousal that is. Stanley was a resilient man but not even the Heroes blessed by the Chief God would be able to do anything less than beg for her body if placed in her Stanley's position.

Yet her Stanley had been able to while not under any silly notions such as a 'crisis of faith' whatever that means. What really clinched it for the Lilim is the randomness of the order itself.

"Wash my car."

If she didn't know any better she'd think that this was all part of the plan from the beginning. Considering her current position putting on a show for her Stanley it is plausible that this might have been the case. There is some doubt however as she sensed his emotions were in too much turmoil and focused lust to have thought of something as intricate as that. This means it would have been a spur of the moment decision that is paying off. Regardless this serves to drive home the fact that her Stanley is one of the cleverest men she ever met even if he doesn't know it.

Just then she crouched down to clean the wheels. The visible straps of her black thong and the short jeans riding up served to give a tantalizing view of her rear. Despite this seemingly deliberate and smooth motion Ezraphel's mind was elsewhere.

'If he were born in my dimension I could only imagine where he would be'

A noble was the most obvious position when comparing his current life, although she would not rule out others. For instance while Stanley lived the life of a noble he was actually very hardworking, earnest and economic. Combine all these traits together along with his intelligence and guile and you have the makings of a very successful merchant.

"Hmm, though a merchant would have to travel and meet with potential customers before establishing a base of power" Ezraphel hummed to her herself while using her tail to grasp the wet sponge only to 'accidently' squeeze it and let the soapy water run down her back down to the valley of her cheeks.

"Oops~"

That got a shudder from the man who was watching behind those dark shades. Smirking at the reaction her thoughts turned to other possibilities of what her Stanley would be if her were born in her dimension. If she were to use his most prevalent personality traits while mirroring his current lifestyle choices and combine them with the right circumstances then it is in her opinion that Stanley would have been…a magus. But not just any old hedge-mage, charlatan sorcerer or what have you.

Her Stanley is not a man who will be satisfied with being a pawn on another's board. Whether it was people, Mamono or even the gods themselves, he is the type of person to 'flip' the table and leave rather than play games, especially if it involved his life. To that end Stanley would completely divorce himself from society to immerse himself in the arcane. The difference between him and every other magical practitioner is that he will have the will and ability to succeed where most would fail.

Concepts such as fame and glory mean absolutely nothing to him. He will only be interested in his personal safety, pleasure and anonymity. To that end through his arcane studies as well as clandestine machinations he will amass an excess of wealth and magical power with just enough influence in the world to ensure his safety. He will be a force all onto himself but one few would be privy to the identity of and fewer would dare to cross.

She also imagined he would create a pocket dimension with the most powerful security spells layered upon each other to provide maximum safety. His dimension would be akin to a farm where he grows his own crops and rears animals for food. A forest would surround it bearing plants, herbs and reagents used for making potions. While nature would prevail on the outside, Stanley's home would be one of luxury and she could imagine him appropriating Magitech into his studies.

She kept imagining a more archaic version of his home on earth.

'I wonder what the outcome would be if I used the spell and end up intruding into the life of this alternate Stanley?'

While in her thoughts Ezraphel continued to diligently perform her duties. Such was her impeccable ability to multi-task. Even still it took her a moment to become aware of a disturbance.

"Hm?"

Her gaze turned to her beloved and the sight caused the Lilim to pout in consternation. At some point her Stanley had fallen asleep…somehow. How any could man fall asleep in the middle of watching her was just…argh!

'I should punish him for this transgression' she thought and a devious smile came upon her lips.

…

Stanley would not be able to properly recall when he fell asleep but his dreams were filled with much magic and whimsy. Said dreams were then drowned by a spray of water that had him sputtering and falling off the lawn chair. Hearing the feminine giggles accompanying his predicament Stanley, in a violent fit, shouted the first words that came to mind.

"BEGONE THOT!" and thrust his hands out.

Then he realized he was in his backyard, his car was right before him looking damn sparkling and Ezraphel had the hose in her hand looking surprised at both his outburst and action.

He shook his head "Ez, what the fuck?"

"Language" she chided.

He rolled his eyes "whatever, answer the question. What the hell was that?"

She harrumphed and gestured to the vehicle at the side "I finished 'washing your car' Stanley but you fell asleep so I had to wake you"

"Did you have to turn the hose on me?"

"I thought it would be more fun~"

He gave her deadpan glare and growl to which she rolled her eyes "if it is so bad then…" she trailed off with a sultry smile and continued with a husky voice "why don't you" the hose was locked off and thrown at his feet "return the favour~"

Stanley looked at the hose then to her and the thought just occurred that Ezraphel was dry, like hadn't-just-finished-washing-a-car dry. Also she was wearing a different set of clothes, a white T-shirt and thong. Combining that attire and her suggestion…

"Gee, I wonder where this is going?" he spoke to himself sarcastically while picking up the hose.

Even as his words were sarcastic his thoughts were contemplative.

"Oh, not by the car" Ezraphel interrupted bouncing to the fence "I waxed it"

"Where did you even" he shook his head "nope, not questioning it."

She struck a pose "I'm ready~"

"…" he stared.

"Stanley?"

"…Ez"

"Hm?"

"I just want to reiterate, I, Stanley Burkowitz, fucking suck at romance. Do you understand me?"

Ezraphel could only stare as this came out of left field but she understood "I do"

"So, would you say giving an incompetent romantic the reigns in a relationship over someone who has basically trained their entire life to be in a relationship to be a smart choice?"

Guilt started enter a expression just a bit "n-no"

He sighed "look, this thing is new to both of us. The difference is that you actually seem to know what you're doing. So from now on you're in charge of this" he gestured to the both them "at least until I manage to get a clue or something."

If Ezraphel could smile any wider Stanley would be concerned as it is though he braced himself for an armed assault.

"Oh Stanley~" she went for a hug only to get hit square in the face by pressurized water "ACK-pft-STANLEY!"

"Hey, you said I could do this, what are you complaining about?" He had a cheeky grin

Once the spraying stopped Ezraphel growled playfully "that won't stop me from giving you snuggles~" she said whilst bending over slightly with her arms pressed under her chest to emphasize them.

The pose worked as Stanley's eyes were instantly drawn to her wet T-shirt. At the same time a gleam entered her eyes and with a flex of her wings she was off. However not even the speed of a Mamono could compare to the trigger finger of an elite gamer, airsoft rifle enthusiast and former paintball death match champion.

"Back, back you white she-devil!"

Another spray hit her mid charge throwing her off course giving Stanley enough time to run for cover. This continued on for a couple more minutes until Stanley was eventually caught and Ezraphel claimed her prize, resulting in a half hour long makeout session in the backyard.