11.3 Furniture Shopping Gone Wrong

Did it make Stanley feel any better that his girlfriend wasn't the almighty sex goddess he'd more or less thought she was before? Honestly? It didn't really matter to him since he was over his fear of her using her powers against him. Was that the Incubus talking? Maybe, but it's more of a been there done that kind of situation and Stanley did not want to rethread that bit of drama. As far as he was concerned he and Ezraphel were cool on that front, they had a good thing going so there was no need to rock the boat.

What it did do was help him make sense of her magic. Call it a pet peeve but it bothered him a little how his girlfriend could just do impossible things and the only explanation he had was 'magic bullshit' as if that somehow made sense. Even reading the MGE World Guide that dealt specifically with magic didn't properly explain most of the stuff he'd seen. Not that he'd take the word of a book written from the viewpoint of a cult of pedophilia enthusiast as gospel anyway.

Plus the book itself was still being translated last he checked.

"This place is amazing~"

Stanley was brought out of his thoughts by his girlfriend's words which seemed like a bit of an exaggeration but he could see why this place would seem so 'amazing' to her.

…

Admittedly architecture and décor were not one of Ezraphel's passions. In this instance she subscribed to her Stanley's belief of so long as it served its purpose well and looked nice enough she didn't much care for the finer details of its aesthetics. Yet she could not help but marvel at the various displays. The place was massive but what really impressed her was how it was set up. Instead of lining up their wares dispassionately to be viewed at a distance the store set up their furniture in little sections as if it were part of a home setting. To complete the aesthetic they even added miscellaneous items like carpets, tables, lamps and potted plants to name a few.

'The plants are fake though' which was a bit disappointing but hardly detracted from the effort taken to set it up in such a way.

Even someone like Stanley would be impressed by this.

"Meh, it's alright" Stanley shrugged

Or not but regardless the whole thing was truly something to behold and they were giving Ezraphel some ideas.

"Hmm~"

And while she pondered this Stanley was looking to find someone who could point them in the right direction since he couldn't see where the beds were set up from the from the entrance which really said something about the size of the place.

"Ez we should find where the beds are" when he got no response Stanley looked to the side to find his admiring a sleek black leather sofa before caressing it not unlike one would a lover.

'Looks like today is going to be one of those days' he thought to himself.

"Stanley, you have to see this!"

And suddenly he was quite literally pulled off his feet. For the next hour Stanley was taken on a whirlwind adventure through the warehouse as his girlfriend gushed over almost every piece of furniture set. It was ridiculous and at the same time Stanley couldn't bring himself to stop it, Ezraphel's excitement was simply too endearing.

'Am I getting soft?'

He asked himself this as he was rubbing his hand along a different furniture material like a pervert. Weird comparison but that's honestly how he felt in that moment.

"Well?" Ezraphel asked expectantly.

"It's not bad?"

He was very confused about the situation he found himself in.

"That's all you have to say?"

What did she expect him to say?

"I'm not a fabric connoisseur Ez, you know that."

She sighed "you are right, I just thought you would be more excited."

"It's a leather sofa. What's there to be excited about?"

"Not that but this" she waved about.

What?

"What we're doing, shopping for furniture."

"Have you met me?"

"Huh?"

"Did you seriously think that I would get excited over this?"

"…I was hoping you would be considerate enough to at least try."

'Bitch, I'm considerate for even being here' is what he wanted to say but Stanley was being considerate of her feelings.

So pinching the bridge of his nose he explained succinctly "I understand you wanting us to spend more time together outside, I really do but you know me. Expecting me to be happy just doing random stuff outside is kind of naïve."

Especially when it's already been established that his isolationist nature was by choice, he hated going outside.

"Well I'm sorry for wanting to spend more time with you."

"What are you talking about? We spend time together and we do stuff together."

"Hmph" her response was to walk away in a huff leaving Stanley standing in the middle of the warehouse looking clueless.

"Wha…what the fuck?" he kept looking about as if someone would give him the answer but he was ignored.

On second thought perhaps that was for the best as situations like this would usually see the man at fault even if the woman is batshit insane and doesn't make any sense.

'Aren't Mamono supposed to be the ideal partners?'

Did he get the only Mamono who inherited that annoying human woman trope of not making any goddamn sense and making him feel like an even more of an asshole than he already is because she's crazy?

"Its shit like this that made me not want to be in a relationship in the first place" he grumbled.

Now he was in too deep (and has been in her too deep) to back out now and fuck if he wanted to go back to what he was before he met her.

"Ez look I-" he cut himself off once he realized that she was nowhere to be found "and she's gone, fuck."

"Excuse me sir"

Stanley nearly jumped out of skin when he heard that voice directly behind him. Spinning around he found himself face to face with a sales rep.

"Can I help you?" she asked.

"Uh…"

Now that he thought about it he and Ezraphel have been in the store for almost an hour now and in that time they have never been approached by a sales rep. Actually, despite their antics (or rather Ezraphel's antics) the two of them didn't seem to register on people's radars. Not once did Stanley have to give some dude the pissed off boyfriend glare because he was ogling Ez.

Which means…

'Ez, did her magic bullshit again.'

"Um sir?"

Stanley blinked out of his thoughts "oh, uh you wouldn't happen to have seen a pissed off blonde woman about this tall walking round have you?"

The woman looked at him funny "n-no."

'Bullshit'

Magical bullshit to be exact.

His pissed off Lilim girlfriend has gone off to god knows where and is using magic to hide her tracks.

'The fuck am I supposed to do now?'

Only one thing to do.

Stanley closed his eyes and sighed "can you show me where you keep the beds."

It was about the only place he and Ezraphel didn't check out during their mini adventure which was probably on purpose.

"O-oh, right this way sir."

He gave the woman a look noticing that there was something off about her but he didn't bother concern himself with it since he found the big girl herself lounging on one of the beds with a look of confrontation.