Chocolate Covered Valentines

Grocery shopping with Ezraphel was something of a bi-weekly ritual. Ezraphel may be able to dine exclusively on Stanley's spirit energy (aka semen) but she also likes the taste of food. More than that she likes cooking food especially for Stanley and has a penchant for trying out new things. With earth's global cuisine available at her fingertips Ezraphel has added at least one new thing to their grocery list every visit even if it was just a one off.

As for Stanley he actually didn't mind these excursions.

Shocking isn't it?

But really Ezraphel makes the best food and Stanley feels that his palette actually evolved due to the sheer number of her food experiments gone right. After a month of home cook meals Stanley just couldn't go back to snacks, takeout and microwave foods anymore. Also grocery shopping, much like their romantic life, is where Stanley willingly surrenders the reigns and hands them over to his girlfriend. Whenever he does this Stanley is treated to the rare occasions where is girlfriend becomes utterly competent and focused.

It is always so fascinating to watch the normally ditzy and clueless woman walk through the isle like she owns them. She certainly owns the hearts of the employees and regulars. Even though Ezraphel has only been going to the supermarket for a month everyone knows her. Despite his best attempts at keeping a relatively low profile Ezraphel actively defies him by drawing attention to herself when going out of her way to make friends with strangers.

He tried to stop it, he really did but Ezraphel is an outgoing woman with boundless optimism who actually enjoys interacting with people, so basically his social antithesis. Even at her most modest Ezraphel is a force of nature and between her beauty and charisma she had the entire supermarket under her 'spell' so to speak. Of course this also brought a whole bunch of other problems Stanley's way being that he's the one she's hitched to, sometimes literally.

See everyone loves Ezraphel or as she goes by in public 'Ezra' and so naturally they become interested in the manlet whom she herself is interested in. What made it worse is Ezraphel constantly showering him with public displays of affection against his wishes. Thanks to her Stanley has experienced some of the most awkward social interactions with people. Here are just some of the gems he's managed to data-mine off the top of his head.

"So are you Ezra's little brother?"

"Hey is your sister seeing anyone?"

 "Ezra's boyfriend, really? You?"

 "How did you two meet each other?"

"So…you hit that or what?"

As you can tell half of them are variations of wondering if she's single, asking him to introduce them and being shocked that he was romantically involved with her despite her being all over him both metaphorically and physically. The other half is awkward and invasive questions about their relationship. Either was his answers always end up being cleaner variations of:

"Fuck off."

"Go fuck yourself."

"That's none of your fucking business."

"She's my girlfriend dickhead so get the fuck out my face before I wax off the floor with your dumbass Miyagi style."

A bit exaggerated? Maybe but one can only take some random wannabe alpha douche or nosy gossip bitches asking about your girlfriend for so long and Stanley isn't known to be socially tact.

"Stanley?"

Suddenly he is taken out of his thoughts by Ezraphel "huh, what?"

"I said that is the last thing on the list" spoke Ezraphel in her human disguise with platinum blonde hair and bright blue eyes.

Stanley looked at the cart he'd been pushing and found that true to her word it was filled with foodstuffs. It was still incredible that they both get this much every week without fail and still manage to clean it out by the end of the week. Or rather Stanley does, because Ezraphel eats for the pleasure of it but otherwise sustains herself on his spirit energy. Meanwhile Stanley can't subsist on her Demonic Energy so he has to eat to regain the energy he lost after every marathon sex session.

Needless to say his food budget has practically tripled since he became an Incubus but it all balances out somehow. His healthy diet, healthier sex life and Incubus body has enabled Stanley to perform better than he ever has in his work. He thought he was pretty efficient before but really he was a slob. True efficiency is burning through a week's worth of work in just a couple of hours or a day or two at most. With this newfound efficiency Stanley is more or less able to make back the food difference in his monthly earnings.

"Let's go check this out and get out of here then" Stanley spoke as he began pushing the cart away but paused once he saw the expectant look on Ezraphel's face "…unless there's something else?"

"Well…" she trailed off looking in a certain direction "you promised that if I was good I could get a treat."

"Uh…"

"Did you forget?"

"No" her eyes narrowed "yes…"

His girlfriend lot out a huff "you promised that I get to pick out candy and ice-cream."

"Oh" he did remember promising that but "don't you think you've had enough sweets Ez."

"No" was her immediate reply.

Stanley isn't too bothered with Ezraphel having a sweet tooth nor is he concerned with her health because she he's not even sure she can get sick. Besides they work off those calories every other day anyway. What has Stanley concerned is that Ezraphel may be developing an addiction to sweets. He is aware she has a pocket dimension dedicated to stashing candies as well magically expanding the freezer at home with a section dedicated to frozen confectionaries.

If his spirit energy was her favorite food then sweets were a firm second, no contest.

"Okay but remember there is a $20 limit."

"$35"

"This isn't a negotiation Ez."

"$35 and I do that thing you like tonight."

"…which one?" 

She bent down to whisper in his ears and…

"O-oh" his cheeks turned the faintest shade of red.

'Holy shit.'

"A-alright $35 but not a dollar more understand!?"

In response she squeezed him in a hug and gave a wet kiss on his cheek "thank you!"

Then she was off, off to spend his money. 

'Stanley Berkowitz, giving a whole new meaning to Sugar Daddy.'

He shook his head at the thought and followed after her. Stanley did not trust Ezraphel to stay within the budget, the first time he did, well…that became the last time.

'And yet she manages to still have a candy stash.'

Also Ben & Jerry's has become a collector's item for her. She is determined to get all the flavors come hell or high water. Not even Stanley wanted to get between her and that particular goal even when he shed a tear after reading his bank statement for accrued expenses last month.

It was okay though because he literally took his anger out on her ass and speaking of, Stanley found Ezraphel was standing by what he deemed the 'candy isle' simply staring. Once he approached she hit him with a question that honestly caught him off guard.

"Stanley, what's 'Valentine's Day'?"

What?

"Where did you hear that?"

She pointed and he followed with his gaze. 

"…shit."

There splayed out in the candy isle were a lot of pink, red and heart-shaped advertisements for Valentine's Day. 

'How did I miss this?'

That was easy, because Valentine's Day wasn't a holiday he acknowledged and this statement is quite literal. Stanley has developed a natural and deliberate ignorance towards certain things and Valentine's Day is one of them. Why would a guy who spends most of his time alone and at home ever celebrate a day dedicated for romance?

But that isn't the issue.

'How do I explain Valentine's Day to her?'

Stanley had no fucking idea what Valentine's Day was actually about except it had to do with romance and- 

'Romance, wait that's it!'

"Uh, you know Eros?"

"The Goddess of Love?"

"Yeah, think of Valentine's Day as a day dedicated to her."

"Oh~ so it's like Eros Day."

"That's a thing?"

"Yes."

'Roll with it.'

"Sure if Eros Day is dedicated to love, romance and couples."

'And now she's got that look in her eye…great' he thought.

"Hey Stanley…" she began leadingly.

'Here it comes' he braced himself.

"Can we do something special for Eros Day?"

'And there it is.'

"Valentine's Day" he corrected "and what exactly do you have in mind?"

"Hmm" she hummed with hands situated behind her back while twisting on her feet "you choose."

Okay he wasn't expecting that but "are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Yep."

"Uh, can you give me a minute to think about something?"

"Okay~ but I expect it to be something fun and different from what we usually do."

And there went watching a movie while snuggling.

'Fuck.'

"Okay."

Ezraphel turned away to feed the stash of her addiction leaving Stanley to whip out his phone and begin typing frantically.

"Fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck."

'What do couples do on Valentine's Day?' was what he typed in on Google and the search engine came up with some article from a woman's blog post 33 Unique Valentine's Day Date Ideas.

'Jackpot' there has got to be something in here Stanley can use on such short notice.

First thing on the list was a restaurant date.

"How the fuck is that unique?" he hissed, looked over his shoulder to see that Ezraphel was still preoccupied then continued "come on give me something good here."

The next thing on the list was bonfire as in camping out in the backyard around a small fire.

'…fuck that, I'm not starting a fire in my backyard.'

Also nix anything that has to do with him spending time outside. The last thing he wanted was to freeze his ass off in the cold February weather. That also means no: romantic dinners, movie theaters, plays, walks, drives, bike rides, ice skating, roller skating, dancing, bar crawls, amusement parks, museums, spa days, hotel stays, trapeze class, escape rooms and-

'What the fuck am I reading?'

Half the shit on the list he didn't even know or think couples actually did. Not in that couples do them but in that any normal person would do them.

'Is that supposed to be the uniqueness?' sounds like a bunch of bullshit.

Who the hell thinks a virtual tour around the world is a viable dating option?

Yeah, nothing on that list is feasible but he did manage to Frankenstein something doable from a few suggestions that could work out to his benefit threefold. He will have a bonafide Valentine's Day activity to do with Ezraphel and he won't even have to leave the comfort of his home or spend that extra cash on candy and ice-cream. 

Closing the browser he went to address his girlfriend 'at least this managed to give me an idea.'

"Ez" 

"Yes?" Ezraphel looked up from where she was gauging prices, already with an arm of candy in hand. 

"Put back the candy I know what we're going to do for Valentine's Day."

"Nooo~" she whined with an expression like you just told her someone killed her puppy.

"Will you relax" he rolled his eyes "you won't need the candy because we're going to be making homemade Valentines chocolate together."

As the words registered Ezraphel's arms seemingly lost all strength spilling her confectionary bounty on the floor.

"Now why'd you have to go and do tha-AH!" 

Before he could finish she was suddenly up in his personal space bent over so that her face was level with his own.

"W-we're going to m-m-make homemade chocolates together?" the manic look in her eyes greatly unnerved him especially since they were slowly starting to literally bleed into red and black.

"Uh…"

'Suddenly this doesn't seem like such a good idea.'

No point in backing out now.

Do it pussy, no balls.

'Fuck it.'

"Sure."

The immediate memories following his answer were a bit jumbled but he certainly remembered a high pitched glass shattering squeal of delight, being enveloped in soft globes of tit-flesh and of course, the kisses. Then she swiped his phone away and left him alone in the isle with a few shocked shoppers and candy on the ground for him to clean up. Sighing to himself Stanley went to work picking up his girlfriend's mess like any responsible boyfriend.

'Did I make the right choice?'

That depends, how much did it cost?

~O~

As it turns out, more than he thought but less than you'd think.

'Maybe I was a bit too impulsive with my pick of Valentine's Day activity' were his thoughts when Ezraphel met him at the cashier with an entire basket of ingredients.

"Ez, what the fuck?"

That gained a few stares from the people who happen to be in the vicinity including a particularly harsh glare from a mother of two but Stanley could quite literally not give a flying fuck.

This is a matter of his wallet god dammit!

"Language Stanley."

"Don't you 'language' me woman! What is all this?"

"Well if we're going to be making chocolates I figure it is only right that we get the essentials."

"Get the essentia-w-what!?" 

In the basket he saw at least four different kinds of chocolate (milk, dark, white, pink!?), chocolate chips, peanut butter, peanuts, strawberries, marshmallows, caramel and plastic molds of different shapes among many other things.

Looking at the near full shopping basket he exclaimed "I'm pretty sure you don't need all of that to make chocolates Ez."

"We will if we want to make Valentine's chocolate~" she waved his phone about and he swiped it from her.

The woman had found a site with the article: 21 Homemade Valentine's Day Chocolate Ideas.

'Mother Fucker!'

In his defense he never made homemade chocolate before, he didn't know what that process entailed beyond the obvious and he certainly didn't think she'd get more than just the essentials. Then he realized this was Ezraphel and cooking before feeling like a total jackass expecting anything less.

"I hope you don't expect me to actually pay for all that."

"Why not?"

"Contrary to popular belief I don't believe in frivolous spending. It has to serve a purpose and what exactly does buying all that serve except for feeding your chocolate addiction?"

"I won't bother you to buy candy and ice-cream for the next month."

"…no bothering me for dessert treats or sweets until you provide definitive proof that your entire stash is gone."

"Grk!" He might as well have punched her in the gut with that one.

"And don't try to lie because I will know."

Ezraphel bit her lip no doubt weighing her options before hesitantly agreeing with a nod "fine however I will no longer accept any of your lame excuses to get out of spending time together."

"Grk!" his brown eyes widened.

Ezraphel smiled serenely at him and sang "fair is fair Stanley~" 

With gritted teeth Stanley hesitantly grounded out "fine but you can't bother me when I have legitimate work to do." 

"Deal!" the disguised Lilim smirked then bent down to look him in the eye "and don't try to lie because I. Will. Know~"

Internally he grimaced but externally he waved her off pushing the cart towards the cahier "whatever."

When it was all said and done the total cost of everything almost caused Stanley to have a aneurysm. If there was any solace to this then it would be that Ezraphel promised to do several things he liked during sex over the course of the rest of the month. Sure common sense dictated that she would have done those things anyway but god dammit he needed a win.

~O~

The car ride back home was naturally an animated one as Ezraphel listed and went into detail about the different chocolate confectionaries she was going to make like: chocolate bonbons, peppermint patties, chocolate caramels, pomegranate candies, peanut butter cups, peanut butter truffles, chocolate truffles, strawberry chocolate truffles, chocolate covered peanut butter and pretzel truffles, dark chocolate raspberry fudge, chocolate peanut butter candies, chocolate marshmallow peanut butter squares and on and on she went.

By the time they arrived home Ezraphel's excited rambling had actually built up significant hype with him and Stanley was actually looking forward to helping her make all those treats. Which is why her answer to his question of where should they start was met with both incredulity and anger.

"What do you mean you don't want my help?"

Ezraphel, no longer in her disguise used her magic to telekinetically arrange their groceries in the pantry, refrigerator, freezer cupboards and shelf all the while keeping her attention on her irate husband/boyfriend.

"I know you only feel obligated to do this with me because it's Eros Day."

"Valentine's Day."

"Same difference" she retorted before caressing his cheek "the point is, I won't force you to do something you only feel obligated to do because of the traditions from a holiday you do not even acknowledge."

"…well what if I just want to spend time with you?" he muttered.

"Then you are the best husband ever…but I want to do this alone."

"Why though?"

"Personal reasons."

He eyed her "weren't you just preaching about me not making lame excuses to get out of spending more time with you?"

"Yes but this is not one of those times. Besides, I don't bother you when you are working."

"Yes you do."

"Well not as much anymore."

Stanley huffed with raised hands "fine whatever I know when I'm not wanted."

He turned to leave only to be halted when a sinuous spaded tail wrapped around his waist and turned him back to her.

"Wait."

"What, I thought you wanted your privacy."

"I do but…" she paused for a bit "actually I do need your help with something."

"And what's that?"

"I need one more ingredient to make a special Stanley chocolate truffle."

"…what?"

With a flash a glass beaker appeared in her hand which she held up to obscure the no doubt sultry smile on her lips.

 "Oh…"

Well…he did say he was willing to help.

~O~

After Ezraphel gave him what he will refer to as an epic sloppy toppy Stanley was sent to his office like an admonished child given time out and much like the point of that punishment he has since been reflecting on that entire incident. Lounging in his office chair and immersing himself in work, Stanley's previous anger at having his aid in the kitchen rejected was nonexistent.

So what if Ezraphel didn't want him in the kitchen with her? It was practically her domain at this point in the same vain as the office was his and it's not like he wanted to go through the trouble of making chocolates anyway. It was just something to do for Valentine's Day so she would get off his back for a while.

'So why the hell do I feel like this?'

Hey genius here's an idea. Maybe you just want to spend time with your girlfriend. It's not like it's the first time you ever felt this way.

Not wrong but something was different.

Yeah, this is the first time she rejected you and not the other way around.

…

"…oh."

The game paused as Stanley finally realized what this niggling feeling is what made him simultaneously angry and depressed at the same time. That feeling of being rejected is one that he never wanted to experience again, not since…that time. It's not as if he's going to be in tears over it or anything but the fact that it bothered him so much was hard to get over.

If Ezraphel rejecting a simple offer for his assistance in the kitchen could make him go into self reflection mode then clearly something is wrong. It could be any number of reasons but the relationship dynamic took a shift somehow when he wasn't paying attention. That's not true he has been paying attention he just never thought it would feel like this.

"Man…I am such a fucking simp now."

If past Stanley could see him now well he'd be pissed but then again past-Stanley was a pissy incel-lite shit. 

'What would that make me?'

A grumpy chad-lite simp.

'Does it even matter I happen to care about my girlfriend enough to feel a little bad about not spending time with her?'

There isn't but it somehow feels like he's betraying himself by admitting that. Defiance has been such an ingrained part of his character that it feels bizarre not fighting this admitted weakness.

"…what the fuck am I even thinking about?" 

It's perfectly natural to feel disappointed about not being able to do something you were looking forward to. 

And so what if he wanted to actually spend time with his girlfriend of his own volition? 

Does that make him any less of a man? 

Fuck no.

Is he betraying some kind of narrative with regards to human and mamono or god forbid, a gender narrative of the relationship dynamics of couples?

Who the fuck cares?

Is he supposed to be the aloof asshole that gets dragged into couple's activities by his girlfriend every time?

No fuck that, Stanley may not be the explicitly romantic type and he may have pawned off his share of romance duties onto Ezraphel but that doesn't mean it was a permanent thing. He was never one to let other people do his work and that translates here. So while it may not be all the time, Stanley will on occasion try to and want to engage in romance without a nudge and he is allowed to get excited about doing stuff with Ezraphel and feel disappointed when he doesn't get to do that.

'I want to make muthafuckin' chocolate with my muthafuckin girlfriend god dammit!'

And with that thought he stood up from his chair, marched straight to the door and opened it up into the bathroom.

"…"

For a moment Stanley just stared before closing the door. He took a deep breath, counted to three and opened it again to find not the hallway but the bathroom.

"Oh you absolute bitch" he hissed.

~O~

Ezraphel's pointed ears twitched and her tail flicked. She could feel her Stanley's frustration just boil over which means he found the little surprise she left for him. Said surprise being she connected his office door to the bathroom door effectively trapping him in a pocket dimension. Ezraphel felt a little bad about that and she especially felt bad for excluding him from what was supposed to be their couple's activity. Even worse he's the one who suggested it on her urgings that she wanted to spend more time together.

The irony was not lost on her and yes she is aware of being a hypocrite but there is a fairly reasonable explanation for why she chose to do this. The decision to exclude her Stanley was not one taken lightly but in the end it had to be done. First of all she did not know just how deep chocolate making would go until she started browsing for ingredients on the internet. Then she came upon something that absolutely blew her mind.

21 Homemade Valentine's Day Chocolate Ideas.

Twenty. One.

And as Ezraphel saw the list, saw the pictures and saw the ingredients that were quite literally right in front of her in that moment, as her Stanley would say, shit just got real. Stanley had just opened the door to a whole new avenue of satiated her growing addiction to sweets. 

She paused "do I have a problem?" another pause "naah."

Anyway as much as she would absolutely love to spend time with her Stanley doing actual couple activities both of them know that if they were to spend any amount of prolonged time together it would almost certainly devolve into raunchy sex and for once she didn't want to get distracted. The opportunity to create entirely new and wonderful chocolate confectionaries was just too much to pass up.

'I promise to make it up to you later on Stanley.'

With that silent promise Ezraphel continued her work. Aided by her sorcery Ezraphel has transformed the kitchen into something of a miniature factory. The area more than tripled in size as did the quantity of ingredients. There are several Ezraphel clones around several workstations preparing several different ingredients for several different chocolate treats. All of them worked with the same amount of skill, fervor and concentration as the original.

Speaking of the original Ezraphel is at a station away from the others making a different sort of chocolate. This one would be for her exclusive use (as if most of the others weren't) but what the others did not have was the picture of white marked Stanley's Cream next to the ingredients.

She may have sampled that particular ingredient more than a few times. She can afford it since her Stanley managed to supply more than enough for her needs.

~O~

It would be another two hours before Ezraphel finished and allow him out of his office properly. Ezraphel managed to get out of a scolding by presenting the fruits of her labor but to his mild disappointment it wasn't a Willy Wonka-esque presentation of homemade chocolate desserts. Ezraphel is saving those for dessert and wants it to be a surprise so until then the two ate a Valentine's themed dinner of heart-shaped steaks, mashed potatoes and pasta topped off with juice made from freshly squeezed fruits. 

It was another banging meal that had his best meal list adjusted for the umpteenth time. The real payoff however came afterwards when Ezraphel revealed the chocolate fruits of her labor which in the case of the truffle cherries and chocolate covered strawberries is very literal.

'Damn if this is what all desserts taste like I would be addicted to them too.'

And if that was his reaction them Ezraphel was practically orgasmic with how much she moaned with every bite, chew and swallow.

"Stanley, I change my mind."

"Hm?"

"I think I'd rather make dessert than buy them from the store."

'Well how about that.'

"Is that right? Well good for you."

"Can I bother you for more ingredients next month?"

"We'll have to see Ez."

Translation: if it costs less then sure, why not?

Afterwards the two settled for a triple movie feature of Love Actually, Crazy Rich Asians and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. All classic films, all romantic comedies and they all made for a great time and a great way to cap off Valentine's Day.

.

.

.

.

Of course that wouldn't be the last highlight of the day. Oh no because as it turns out the day's events actually gave Ezraphel the idea to try out something new for their late night shenanigans. This is why when Stanley arrives in the bedroom after a relaxing shower that was suspiciously devoid of his girlfriend he was greeted by the sight of said aforementioned girlfriend lounging on the bed wearing a lacy red valentine themed see through negligee. 

"Hello Stanley~" the seductress cooed "I know you were looking forward to making chocolate with me but there's still something we can make together~"

He's pretty sure this counts as an Eros Day thing.

"I already had dessert though."

"Oh no Stanley" she sat up on her knees "that was just the appetizer." 

Pulling down her top Ezraphel retrieved a ladle from a bowl on the nightstand that he'd only just noticed. The Lilim expertly drizzle the chocolate fondue on her exposed cleavage in the shape of a heart. 

"This is dessert~" she used her forearm to raise her chocolate covered breasts up as if presenting them to him.

"Oh damn."

The Lilim grinned at his reaction "Happy Valentine's Day~"

That night Stanley made another adjustment to his food list.

New number one on the list: Chocolate Covered Ezraphel.

~The End~