4 day 4

it's 3:54am in the morning now and time keeps passing by and as you can see I'm writing you this, I'm just laying here looking up at my ceiling, in pitch black darkness on my own like always, I'm so tired but unable to doze off now 6:07am still awake i take about 3 of 4 pain killers my head was in pain to try to take it away even tho i know pain killers don't work on me anymore,

my body has come to get use to tablets coz the amount the doctors keep giving me, they keep uping the dos,

i got up at 10 to wash my face and went downstairs were everyone was watching Jeremy Kyle, not even noticing I've entered the room, i make a coffee and sit were i always do, by the window by the door, still not noticing I'm there kept watching the TV, i was watching by my mind was else where at that point, i could see my mothers eyes tear up but they never fell she try's to keep a strong face, my sisters and mother was full of emotions and i just sit watching and observing I'm taking everything in,

my mind drifts off to the time when I just managed to billt up my courage to pack up and leave my fathers house where all the abuse was and the look on my two little sisters faces when i left, it broke my heart, that was when all my emotions and feeling were left to hang alone feelings and emotions i cant ever get back.

before i knew i snapped back to reality and noticed my two sisters went back up stairs, but i know to this day it will always hunt me every single move i make they will be there, even my past hunts me constantly it'd always in my mind circling around and around.