3 day 3

I'm just having one of those days where i just close my eyes so tightly and holding my breath to hold back my stining tears, there is something inside me that has come apart, i feel like i have no right what so ever to feel this way, but still i do. it feels like I'm being selfish, and it hurts so much that i can hardly breathe, the only thing i can feel to day is my heart crumbling in to tiny little pieces, i can't cry coz my family are around me,

right now my memories are replaying in my mind like nightmares there taking everything from me, no hope left, it was the pain that has changed me through the years, pretending to be happy, talking a lot, laughing out laugh to cover up what is inside me, the truth is something on side me died along time ago,