Dúplicity

The muffled bass of the music reverberates throughout my body as I slowly make my ascent up the flight of stairs before me. For once, I actually take in the intricate designs and patterns on the balustrade. How oddly the swirls of polished wood all curl in harmoniously into circles, like eyes, all staring at me.

Above me, the ceiling is flooded with beautifully carved images. Angels, Goddesses and Gods. Posed majestically, with their arms outstretched downwards, as if casting their judgement onto me, down below. A new image seemingly appearing across the vast surface of art above me, whenever I gaze at it. I look back down to myself, my shoes so polished I could almost make out my own reflection.

"Everything is perfect…right?"

I dismiss the thought with a sigh as I finally reach the top of the grand staircase. I make my way through the hallway, passing a collection of pale white statue heads on stands before approaching my bedroom. As I enter, I encounter one of my many butlers, dressed in a black tailcoat suit. His hands covered in silk white gloves, his right holding a wine glass, his left the bottle.

"The wine you requested sir" he says whilst pouring the red liquid into the glass before handing it to me.

"Sir", I flinch at the word, as if it was an insult.

It's ridiculous.

You´d expect that I´d be used to being addressed as that, after concealing my true identity for a few years now. Which for the most part I am…

But every now and then, I find myself stumbling when I'm addressed as a man. It´s like a constant reminder of everything I threw away. Everything I sacrificed for this lavish lifestyle.

My own identity.

"Are you alright sir?" the butler's words snatching me back into the present.

"Yes, of course" I reply confidently, assuring to make eye contact whilst I seize the glass of wine from his hand.

An uneasy silence seeps into the room.

I step towards the full body mirror, situated up against the centre of the wall. Its glistening golden crest bordering the glass, making it stand out amongst all the equally expensive furniture. Standing in front of the glass, I catch the butler staring at me through the reflection. His brows furrowed, displaying a puzzled look. I return the stare back at him, intensely, as if telling him telepathically to leave the room before I hurl this wine at him, or worse.

"If you will excuse me" he says, flustered, before exiting the room.

Leaving me with just my reflection as company. I turn back to examine myself in the mirror. A clean undercut. My curls neatly braided into two cornrows, reaching just below my shoulders. Sleek black trousers, tightly fitted to my ankles. A plain white shirt, not a wrinkle in sight.

A basic but bold outfit.

I can't help but smirk slightly as I adjust my tie, making it straight.

"Why was I so unsure of myself just now?"