CUSTODIAN

Afraid to go out

Afraid to talk to people

It's difficult to make friends

I rather be home, Alone

Scared to be in a big crowd of people

Panicking about going to a social event

Nervous about meeting someone new

Scared to ask someone something

Staying quite instead of asking for something you need

Feeling like everyone is watching you

Regretting going out

That was how our Daisy was. Shy, anxious, always hiding but a black horse. She was a girl to leave everything on God when it comes to something talkative but would not dare to speak. She always thought people will laugh at her, make fun of her, etc. She will always keep her thoughts to herself as she thinks it is useless to express her needs. But the girl is an admirer, a secret admirer of Edward Leo. She is so poetical and cynical about the damn ravenette. She will sit in her usual seat and keep admiring him silently. Her musings are not different from her poetic self as, she thoughts;

Just like a light ray in a cellar

Cherry blossoms in the spring

Warm sunshine after a hailstorm

The taste of cream in hot chocolate

He was also my life's beacon of hope

We weren't yet close

But we also weren't total strangers

We used to be classmates

Edward Leo was an introverted but alluring boy in her class. here we have Daisy Rose, an 18-year-old high school student working hard to become a doctor one day. She has no idea what Edward plans to do after high school but would love to know everything there is to know about him. But again, the thought of anxiety strikes her that did he wanted the same too. Did he wanted her to notice him, making her sad to pit as she reminisces about it,

But did he shared that sentiment?

Did he also notice me?

Does he perceive me as I perceive him?

When the bell sounded, all of her thoughts were scattered, but what she never envisioned in her wildest dreams was to find the last person she was currently thinking about standing in front of her desk.

The real "Edward Leo" was in front of her desk.

And... was... staring... at... her!

Getting approached by Edward was the last thing she thought. Never been approached by anyone in the class, makes everyone feel lonely and anxiety hits hardly when the barrier you build up is tried to break. Same happened with Daisy too. She got a striking panic attack standing there trying her best to keep herself together. Then she started her habit of talking to herself in her head to calm her down.

Daisy, calm down.

Perhaps he wants something,

Perhaps something is on your face, perhaps.

Just what did he say?

He did!!

"Daisy, what's up?", Edward spoke there representing any charming popular boy that makes the nerd perplexed as he approaches them for the first time. And Daisy representing all shy girls out there whose throat is dried, and they are not in their perfectly imperfect self as their crush approaches them. She was currently doing anything except replying to Edward.

Oh my god,

Edward is speaking to me.

Please stop him,

My social anxiety can't ruin this moment right now.

Besides,

My hands were sweaty

My throat was dry.

"I... Um... Yeah?... Edward... " Finally Daisy replied. But her inner anxious self-thoughts were eating her up. As she never thought she is worth it to talk with.

Will he bully me?

Make fun of me?

Or just become a stuttering mess like I did when I spoke?

Her chain of thoughts was broken when Edward spoke again, "Daisy, how are you doing? It's now time for science lab after class... You must not. Do you want to go there?"

The question somehow made her calm. She was relieved it wasn't a complex one. But what made butterflies erupt in her stomach was thought of Edward. That how she noticed her in whole class and approached her. It made her happy. She was lowering her head and was also a shorty in front of him. She gathered herself together and glanced up at him. Wanting to see his self, his eyes and reaction when she looked at him. But there he was;

Normal...

No blush,

No smile.

He had no facial expression

Just a poker face

He was completely calm in his tracks but there she stood. Daisy in her anxious self-standing in front of him like a scarlet tomato. Silently reading his face to get a hint of his thoughts changing into a difficult-to-read biological hypothesis. She bowed her head since she was unable to maintain eye contact with anyone owing to her anxiety, but little did she knew that she is not the only one who struggles with this in those piercing "Edward Leo" hazel eyes.

She opened her mouth, replying after what felt like an eternity "Oh, I guess I forgot to note it. Just now, time seemed to fly by."

Edward just gave her a pointed look. She was again lowering her head in embarrassment. Feeling guilty of herself as she is acting so weird according to her and Edward must cop up with her, she fiddled with her fingers. She turned back to face him; who was still giving her that poker face look.

She once more expressed my gratitude for the information before beginning to gather her possessions, signaling Edward that she got his message and saying, "I just...oh there are my pen... I'm... coming." She managed to say. Defending her anxious self in a murderous attempt. Taking my pen from floor she raised her head up only to discover she was alone in the classroom until after that.

Edward had left.

Not being able to think anything more. Daisy considered the fact that she had loosed it. Now he really thinks I'm weird. She felt rejected. That caused her to lower her head in disappointment at her own self. In all honesty girl wanted to make a good impression on him. But her anxious self-made her feel guilty like always. No matter how mysterious aura Edward held. She still wants to befriend him bad. In all sincerity she wants to tell him. That, she loved him dearly. Her thoughts were getting the moment she kept thinking of him. She was now remembering a poem ''The Special One'' by Clairel Estevez that reminds her of him.

I want to be,

Special for someone.

So that I never feel alone,

Two arms holding me tight,

And forever keep me close.

I want to find the missing colors,

For my life is black and white.

Someone crawling in my thoughts

When I try to sleep at night

I want to find the wandering feet

That with mine will walk the world.

Someone warm against my skin

When the winter nights are cold

And forever keep me close

Two arms holding me tight,

So that I never feel alone

I want to be,

Your special one.

But all her poetical thoughts remained to herself only as he left the class. Having been defeated by her ideas, Daisy left class and headed in the direction of doorway, but once she came out of class. A deep voice halted her. "You need to hydrate more if you want to reduce your anxiety."

The same vibe and monotone voice.

Upon turning around,

She was greeted by

The one and only was standing there.

Edward Leo...

There he stood still flawless and not bothered by anything in this world. A perfect self he is standing there in front of me. While I am nothing but a nervous person. No matter how introverted he is, but he is still wanted. Still demanded by many, but it is not same in mine case no one could ever notice me. I continued to stare at his ravishing self, stood beside windowpane in the corridor.

Sunlight hitting his whole body from the back, illuminating his hazel orbs more, while adding a glistening effect to his face, hairs softly flickering due to flowing air. A comforting yet mysterious aura surrounded him when he spoke again, ''Are you alright or you wanted to miss the class?'' she just looked at him in awe.

Sealing her lips tight she smiled then replied hesitantly, ''Yeah, I am and um... I was about go to''. Then she gestured towards direction of science lab. Edward just nodded and looked out of window. Her view made her think out loud.

He said different things in different ways

And it caught her imagination

He was everything she'd ever dreamed

So simply unordinary

In all this moment she wanted that time to froze forever as she will always stay here with Edward. A tremendous moment she could never get fed up of.

Author's Note:

While reading this Chapter, I recommend you listen, "Crush" by Tessa Violet.

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