4 Chapter Three: New beginnings

[ ? ? ? ] P.O.V.

Here, I discovered what I could do. Definitely, I have passed all human limitations, no. . . the moment I lost my rationality, I ceased to be human. I was a murderer, a monster. I ended the lives of all the villagers that landed in my field of vision and worse, I killed my own brother too. It scares me how easily they died, and pains me how I can't bring them back no matter how I try to call on that power to help.

He laid there motionless covered in his own blood because of me. My curse. I finally realized why I was an outcast, and I honestly wish I stayed that way.

I only stood up to bury him when the sun had already set. I made sure to mark the tree I had buried him under and go back to the town to check if the girl he was looking at earlier ended up as one of my unfortunate victims. Only when I had come back to the town had I realized that the deaths I caused were more than I remembered.

There were not tens, but hundreds of them and every one had been slaughtered into pieces; most of them were not even recognizable as humans anymore. I gagged; I felt the vile in my stomach rise as I tried to hold it in but failed as I vomited out what little I had in my stomach. I had turned the entire village into an entrance gate to hell.

I had almost ran away but reminded myself that I must find her. It was all I could think of to repay my brother after all that I have done to him. But what if I couldn't find her? What if she were one of the 'unfortunate' victims.

I didn't wan't to look through the mounds of mutilated flesh, I wasn't ready to face the worst of what I had done. But relief flushed over me as It took me all night, but I managed to find her and she looked practically unharmed. I guess whatever god there is took pity on me, and lessened one of my sins. At least I didn't mutilate the girl Al liked.

She did not look harmed except for the few bruises and scrapes she had on her knees and palms, maybe because she fell? I was slightly hopeful and checked for a pulse, but there was none. And there was nothing I could do. Her body had hardened, lips turned purple, and eyes rolled back into her head. She was also covered in a thin dried up layer of perspire and dirt. Compared to the other villagers around her, she seemed like a doll, untainted by the outside world. If I didn't know who I was, I would have said I was the one with a crush on her and not Al.

I fixed her up a bit before carrying her outside of town; Meaning, I just straightened her clothes, closed her eyes and removed the hair from her face and mouth. Even after all of that she still looked more angelic than anyone I had seen, books, pictures you name it. No wonder my brother liked her.

It took me a while but I was able to bury her next to Al since maybe it would make him happy? I don't really know because… I didn't know anything about the village. Their beliefs. . . culture. What am I even supposed to do, I'm not even sure what next to do after burying them, was burying them even correct?

I only saw this mother fox burying her dead offspring once so… does it apply to humans as well?... I don't know

After a few hours of just sitting there thinking about "What could have happened if?" futures, I went back to the center of town and sat at the edge of the stone platform covered in ashes and saw some crows pecking on the scattered. . . remains. I tried to shoo them away but they wouldn't leave.

It was impossible to bury them all, and I don't want animals eating them!

So I did what I thought best, I burned them all.

As I watched flakes of ash rise up into the air from blazing ember fires, I found myself lost.

What am I supposed to do now? I held my knees and wanted to cry but could not. I thought about how years from now I might be doing the same thing as I am now. Just sitting there and replaying in my mind over and over again what happened yesterday. I can't even believe it just happened yesterday! It felt like decades.

They were right. I am cursed… this is my curse. I will dread for the lives and futures I have unjustly taken away from them.

Ironic how I broke free of my chains expecting to be free but instead I lay bound as a fettered prisoner of my own perdition. It is not really my own since it involves… others. But I know that this will be my punishment… here I lay surrounded by their blood and ashes, the people who I have killed.. murdered…

I am a thief… a murderer… a beast… a monster…

~//~//~//~

By the time the sun rose a carriage arrived at town. It took a while for the people inside it to get out. Understandable, since only yesterday, this town had been brimming with life but now it just looked like some freshly abandoned war zone, or purge or execution area however you wish to see it.

I had watch them walking around and kneeling at each irrecognizable body (or pile of ash and bones) as if to praise them or something similar by putting their hands above each one and muttering some words over and over again. By the time they had realized that not every human sitting there had been dead, meaning me, they had walked up to and glared at me as if to say "What had happened here?" and "Why are you the only one alive?" I didn't have the energy to respond, so I waited for them to punish me and stared at them, as silent as the skeletons around me.

After they had decided that I really wasn't going to say or do anything, the man in white robe-like clothes knelt down and wrapped a cloth around my shoulders, making me stop shivering which I wasn't even aware I was doing, then carried me on his back and proceeded to their carriage.

I don't understand. Did they not see that I was a monster? Did they think someone else did this? . . . I guess they did. I know that I should say something, to tell them that I didn't deserve their kindness, but his back was so warm. It was neither as cold as the chilly night breeze, nor as hot as the blazing fires.

I knew my silence was wrong, but I don't want to let go of this warmth ever again. I'm sorry. I promise to tell you all one day, but for now forgive me for being selfish. Please let me go with you.

OOOOOO

During the entire time, the adults who carried me and brought me into their carriage, had been trying to "comfort me". I felt guiltier the more they did so, but I didn't wan't to crack. I didn't want to be a monster again. Even if I was lying, I wanted to try being human again, so I didn't way anything. I don't know why I wanted to stay with these human adults who have continued to torture and rip apart my life, rotting people around me from the inside out. But something about being human, being the same as my brother, was better than being a monster.

After a while they had given up on speaking to me, and I fell asleep. I didn't see any dreams, but I just remember seeing black for hours and hours on end. When the white robed man woke me up, we were entering this huge city with white walls all around and this gigantic building in the center that looked like a palace but was a little different.

I mean it was as big as a palace but it looked a lot different from the pictures or drawings I had seen.

This "palace" did not have a bridge that would prevent commoners from entering; instead, it had this "welcoming" aura and a gigantic garden complete with a stone path that people would just walk in and out of. I thought only royalty lived in a palace? Why is the whole town going in there?

"Do you like it?" a warm and deep voice had asked me from behind which brought me back to reality. Turning around, now getting a better/clearer look at this person, unlike all the other adults I had been used to, he looked kinder and much less gloomy than even the children back in the village.

"…~" I tried to speak but my voice croaked, probably still sore from the screaming I did the past day. I looked away and lowered my head, but immediately shot up as I heard the sound of laughter, the images of the orphanage – before and after – shot through my head which made it hurt… a lot. Why was thing happening?

Then I suddenly felt myself being lifted into the air and brought down to the ground.

"I am called Father Joshua, what is your name?" I turned around to face the kind man and was greeted by the brightest smile I have ever seen in my life.

It took me a while to answer but was able to come up with the biggest lie in my life. "Mathew."

Where it came from? I don't know.

Walking into this gigantic room inside the building past the garden with columns and columns of benches, the thing that caught my eye the most, aside from the windows with images on them, was at the furthest part. The wall behind it looked like it was embedded with gold and seemed to glow, the chair looked even more so as it glistened with the light that passed through the colored glass. The table that stood proudly in front of it did not lose as it seemed to be made of the most beautifully woven silk.

It wasn't until I was introduced to all the other children that I was able to let it all sink in.

OOOOO

After a while of wandering aimlessly, I bumped into this guy who looked around my age. He had black hair and black eyes and was taller than me. Then realized he wasn't just looking at me he was staring at my face.

I said "What?" I reached to face thinking that there may have been something on it. "I don't like being stared at. Is there something on my face?"

"Oh you can see me?"

"…Yeah…. I'm not blind." Okay this guy is just weird

"Sorry I thought that you know, you were…"

"…w- …"

"Sorry I don't mean to say anything that you don't like."

"I-It's alright…" I managed to reply but… why? Do I look blind?

"I'm Reginald by the way y'can call me Rege." (Pronounced as Redge)

"… um… Ma- Mathew"

It was a moment of awkward silence but then was broken by him suddenly bursting out laughing. "It's alright you don't need to be scared of me, I don't bite. I know! C'mon, I want to show you something. So we can be best friends."

"…Okay but-" I wasn't able to finish my sentence as he suddenly tugged on my wrist and dragged me to the opposite direction from the others.

As we arrived in the destination I was immediately greeted by the warmth of the sun and a breeze that made a smile spread across my face.

"You like it? It's my secret place I don't show it to the others but I just felt as if you were different."

"It's- it's amazing."

"HAHAHA it's alright man I always feel that way to whenever I come up here."

We were on the roof… it was high… I didn't care I felt free… it felt awesome I don't even know how to describe it. This was the highest I had ever been. I was then shocked by Rege suddenly shouting out of nowhere then laughing. He then faced me and told me to do the same.

"… I- I am not shouting"

"Come on just do it, it will make you feel better I promise."

"…" I looked away from him to show my distain on the idea.

"Come on man just this once think of it as a new beginning. You don't need to hide it from me I know you have gone through something hard, we all have before coming here."

This guy was starting to piss me off so I decided to just do it to get him off my back. I took a deep breath a shouted at the top of my lungs...surprisingly, he was right?! I did feel way better. I smiled thinking "This guy really knows how to make people feel better." then felt something run down my face. I reached to my eyes where I scoped up a tear using my finger.

"…Huh? Weird why am I…" Rege reached up to my head and pulled me to his shoulder.

"it's alright let it all~ out. Better out than in we say."

We were surrounded in silence as he rubbed my back to let all my tears fall. But all I cried was that one tear. I noticed how Rege was shaking a little and look up to realize he was crying.

"… Why are you the one crying?"

"I - don't - know - Matt." He said between each breath as tears continued to roll down his cheeks.

"…What the?" I tried to prevent a laugh, but failed and a few chuckles escaped from my mouth. Then... he laughed to.

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