1 Reincarnation!

I am just a normal guy looking for a job! With the whole Corona pandemic, the job opportunities in my country decreased by a lot! People were being laid off of their jobs and there was no chance for a person like me with a weak degree to get a good job!

While searching for any job that I could take, I had a lot of free time, but instead of using my free time wisely I spent it playing this new afk cultivation game called Taoist Steals Your Wallet Money Cultivation to be Broke and Immortal! As the name implies, this game is about destroying rich kid's wallets but I like how weird the people that play the game here are! They are playing their role and remembering technique names, it is funny how much of their time is wasted on memorizing Chinese names and Xianxia martial arts techniques... It got to the point that some rich kid actually started paying an instructor for Chinese lessons to be able to write the technique names in Chinese!

I always looked down on Xianxia martial arts and all the novels and the fans, I only play it to find those losers and laugh at them, after all, they are do detached from reality they live in their own delusion! We had a debate once and I came to a conclusion! That the strongest Martial Artist to ever exist should be the one who eats from TacoBell and get stuck in the bathroom for ages! After all, martial arts get stronger just by sitting on a rock and farting for thousands of years!

The theory was offensive to martial arts fans, but what can I say? I have literally no respect to gaining power by being lazy, because if that was the case, I am the laziest person there is! Hi reader? Are you infuriated yet? Want to leave a bad review on the story of my life? Go ahead, no one is holding you~

"I must be a lunatic to break the fourth wall muwahaha"... "I should probably get a life..." "This is boring..." "Life during this shit diseases is boring as fuck!" "AFK games are the worst... You can't even play when you want... You have to wait for resources and stupidity!"

But then my phone notification shone bright, and I was excited that maybe my resources has been filled! I quickly opened the game to see that the notification was about receiving a mail... I was discouraged but when I checked the mail it said "You have been blessed and have struck a fortune!" So I quickly went to the Adventure tap to find out what new skill benefits have I unlocked! I didn't even bother reading the details of the skill, I will be able to read the benefits in my skills tap after I learn it anyway... But suddenly out of nowhere, the moment I learned that technique, I tried to swallow my saliva... But then chocked on it and died....

"What a stupid way to die ahahaha! Imagine dying like that... such embarrassment!" I started laughing... but in truth... I died in the most humiliating way possible! I don't know where I am, but I still feel like laughing on the stupid way of death... I must be a lunatic... Anyway, the place around me is dark, the more I laugh the more I hear that annoying sound of a baby crying... Also, What The Fuck is this place I am in? It is wet as fuck, and it is disgusting! And something is pushing my head outward! I am beginning to think that god is truely a pervert that loves tentacles hentai!

Then there was a moment I felt like something is trying to squish my head real hard, right before the dark place became so bright my eyes started burning, I tried to curse but everything I hear myself saying was "AAAAA AWWAAAAA!" what? and it is super cold here! Am I in hell? Cause this is way better than I imagined... I was just sexually harassed and mildly tortured... Which is very good considering this is hell!

But as I was contemplating about how good hell is compared to its bad reputation, I started hearing loud voices, and I was like "OMG!! Are those titans? Am I Zeus? Cronus wait for me daddy, I am gonna smash your stomach, free my siblings and fuck my sister... wait... why did Zeus fuck his sister again?"...

I swear to god every myth is more retarded than the other... Oh wait... are those people saying Ching Chong? This isn't old greek! This is China! Did I just get reincarnated in a martial arts world!? "Dun Dun Duuun..." Sorry... I couldn't help it...