CRYSTAL HEARTS

The corridor is dark and cold, it always is. The single flickering light is all I have as I walk to my apartment. Slotting my keys in, it takes a while to open the door.

walking in, I see nothing has changed. I wish it would. The walls that were once the purest of whites now peeling away. Falling off like wet paper. The ceiling stained with patches from all the times it caved in from the water leaks. Looked like little mud stickers. The once plush carpeted floor now a rough rag.

I walk to the living room after locking the door shut. The pungent smell of beer and smoke means he was here earlier. The floor is littered with beer cans and burned out cigarette buds. It always smelt like awful even after airing the living room out. It's gonna take some time to get the beer stains off the carpet.

I toss my hoddie on the nearest couch and grab a garbage. Piling up all the beer cans and cigarette butts takes a few minutes. Wiping of the table is the easiest chore I have in this cleaning loop. I walk to the kitchen and toss the garbage bag in the corner making a mental note to take it out tonight.

The kitchen is beyond filthy.. I always wondered what he does to make it so dirty in the time that I'm gone. The sink is filled with dirty dishes and water that was clogged in. I notice more beer cans. He must have had his friend over to have this many everywhere.

I unclog the sink and start cleaning the dishes. I always loved how quiet it was when im alone,saved me on a lot of stress, but it always made me feel lonely.

I finish cleaning and try to make it look as humane as possible. Quickly drying off my hand, I grab my hoddie and almost make my way to my room when I hear the door unlock. It must be him.

My dad walks in staggering, holding a black leather thigh-high boot in one hand and the house keys in the other. I have no idea of where he got that boot from but it most definitely isn't his. He smells of smoke and whiskey.

I notice his black eye and bleeding lip. He must have lost at a gabble again.I take in his appearance, it's not what it used to be. His once beautiful shining jet black hair, now filled with tuffs and patches. His blue eyes, no more showing an ounce of the happiness they held in them. Bleak from the feeling of pain that consumed him.

I look away, hurting to remember the man he once was. I can feel my nails sink into my hoddie, holding it tight to my chest as I make an attempt to run to my room before he gets angry. He always gets angry when he's drunk. It's best to leave him alone to sober up.

" Where the hell are my bloody cigarettes?", he asks me while walking towards the living room. " on the couch!" I murmured as I tried to walk faster towards my room.

"I always told you to fucking buy me the proper damn cigarettes, this is bullshit" he shouts as he walks up to me and grabs my arm. " The money wasn't enough to buy the ones you wanted, so I got what I could." I look mutter looking down at my black pumps. I never saw it coming as he reaches out his hand and pulls my hair back.

" Dad please, not again. Please ." I beg as he pulls me towards the kitchen window and slams my head against the glass. I can feel it crack against my face, It'll be the fifth time taping back the window. He slams my head over and over again against the window until it finally gives in and shatters.

" Next time you'll learn to buy the correct pack of bloody cigarettes." He shouts at me as he walks to his room and slams the door shut.

It takes a little while to get my composure back. Opening the kitchen cabinet, I take some band aids and antiseptic to fix myself up. After I'm done, i quickly grab my stuff and hurriedly walk to my room.

I sit by the window for hours letting the darkness of the room cover my pain. The only light coming through into the room is from my window.

I turn my back against my bed side staring at the only light I have coming through my window. I look up at the night sky focusing my attention on the stars. I wish the stars would watch over me as mum once said to me before she left us. Left me. I guess she was wrong, the stars never watch.