17 My Mission (2)

"But before my fifteenth birthday, the entire South had been ours," his sleeves swept over the entire area dominated currently by the Chen, lingering for a brief moment at the edge of the map before falling back down. A short-lived glimmer lit up in his eyes, an ember of youth and ambitions that cooled immediately as it had appeared.

From his pensive expressions, he betrayed a hint of longing. But what's more, there was that trademark aura of sadness and regret. "In my youth, I had been foolish enough to try to seize the South back." He shook his head. "Not a single piece of our former territory was returned, and all I gained was war and death."

Perhaps, in his youth, he had been determined and hopeful, but now, all of the former aspirations and vigor were sanded over by time.

"In the end, the North had to gift us three counties in pity so that Liang wouldn't collapse." He continued, closing his eyes and pointing to the Northern range of Liang, stopping precisely at the tip without looking as if he had memorized the map by heart. A contemplative look danced across his face, first of helplessness then of humor.

I looked at him in confusion, not sure what his purpose was. I knew of no past, only that my future would be with the North. Was he reminding me that I was repayment for our debts?

"Emperor—"

"You need not call me that. To the Sui, my title is the Governor of Jiangling," he slowly walked towards me. "In that case, the daughter of an official can address simply address her father as 'Father.'"

Stunned, I was momentarily silent.

A sudden fit of dry coughing overtook him, and he propped one hand against his wooden desk to steady himself. Nonetheless, he kept on speaking, as if these words possibly be his last to me. "If the entire land cannot call me Emperor, what use is it having my very own daughter play along with these pretenses and false formalities?" He choked out in between gasps of breath, the first hint of determination I had sensed from this compliant man.

Something wrenched my heart, tying it into a knot. This man before me was a puppet being strangled by the very strings that gave him life. He knew his role and long stopped fighting against it, but he was still suffering against his own past.

And I would be the next in line for the show. He was warning me to accept the reality before it was too late. But little did he know, my hopes for a life of my own were long gone.

"Youshi knows what is expected of her and will do her duty to please the Sui," I reassured him.

"Three hundred gold. One thousand silver. Ten thousand bundles of silk. Five hundred horses." From seemingly nowhere, he listed. "That is the price the Sui paid for your hand, but that is not all you're worth."

He paused, smiling coldly. "It does seem like I'm selling my own daughter for peace, does it not?"

Even without having grown up in the court, I knew what the sum meant. Just the silk alone would be enough to provide for my entire town. Surprisingly, I was worth a lot more than I had expected. If one marriage could bring back that much, no matter what angle you scrutinized it from, it was a good trade. All I had to do was to act my part in this script and wed.

It will be one for thousands. Liang would continue its vassal relationship with the North and be gifted with goods. The only casualty would be me.

But no matter what, it didn't make sense to me why the Sui would invest so much in Liang. We were weak. They were strong. We were small. They were vast. What would they gain from this alliance?

"Youshi knows what is expected of her and will do her best to better the Sui's opinion of Liang," I repeated, not knowing what else he wanted. There was only so much I could do. Even if I could persuade my future husband, I doubted that a mere second prince would have influence over the fate of Liang.

He ignored me, instead taking a longing look at the map he had been staring at. There was a look of awe to which he examined it that mirrored my initial reaction, almost as if this too was his first time looking at it. Almost dreamily, he took in the map's beauty and elegance, running his fingers along the surface as if caressing a lover's face.

Then, abruptly, he tore his glance from it, turning his back away and settled into his chair, leaving me standing cluelessly behind him.

"Youshi, go call in a servant from outside," he returned to the position I first saw him, slumping and with one arm propped against his face. It was almost like he was bracing himself for a horrible act.

I did as commanded, and the court servants immediately kneeled once inside.

"Go burn the map."

I thought I heard wrong, and the court servants exchanged sideways glances.

"Go burn the map," he repeated tiredly, an edge of command laced into his clam tone. "It's already outdated anyway."