CLOCKWORK: your time is up (part 1)

A little girl sat in her room. Her messy brown hair was put into little pigtails, as her hazel eyes stared at the door. She hugged her stuffed giraffe close to her little body and listened closely to the loud yells of her father and mother.

"I never should have had any damned kids!" screamed a loud, deep voice. "All they do is make messes, complain, and draw on the walls!" He was interrupted by the shrill, angry yell of the girl's mother.

"They are children, David! They don't know any better!"

"Oh, fuck me, Marybeth! I don't want to hear your bullshit excuses! I've had about just enough of them!"

"And what do you plan to do about it?!" The girl heard loud footsteps coming towards her room, and she hugged her giraffe closer.

The door opened violetly, and in the doorway stood her large, overweight father. In one of his meaty hands, he held a large textbook.

"Devid! stop it!" screamed her mother.

But father ignored his wife's pleading cries. He grabbed the little girl harshly by the colar, and she screamed and kicked, trembling fear. The girl's father held up the textbook.

"This is for drawing on my fucking walls, you little bitch!"

* * * * *

Years later, the little girl, known as natalie, was now 9 years old. Going through the stage of puberty, she was natrually a little chubby. Like the usual, she sat in her room, watching TV. Her dad was ranting on about some economic crap that she really could give less shit about, as she munched on some popcorn.

She was also currently drawing a picture. There was a bit of gore in it, but strangely, she really liked drawing blood. It gave her some weird satisfaction. Other than that, multitasking was no problem for her. It became apparent to her at young age, after having to do so much hard work and labor, that she was able to do so many things at once. Drawing ended up being her talent and passion. It was her way from escaping from reality, whenever something bad would rear its ugly head and peer in, or when she was simply bored.

She suddenly heard the closing of her door, and looked to the left, pausing on munching her popcorn. There stood her brother lucas, who was 14 years old.

"What is it?" She could still hear her father's yelling from outside of the door.

"Dad scaring you?" He let out chuckle.

"No way. I think we're both used to his yelling by now." There was a long pause. "So, why are you in here?" He played with his sleeves slightly and twitched a bit.

"I have to ask you something" He trained his eyes on her. She frowned slightly, growing impatient with her brother interrupting her movie and drawing.

"What?" He moved a little closer. "You said you wanted to be cool and grown-up, like teenager, right?" She nodded and suddenly brightened up slightly.

"Well, i have an offer"

"Just spit it out, you dimwit!"

"You know what...what guys and girls do together, sometimes...right?"

The next day at school, Natalie did not say a word. She did not speak for the whole day. She didn't had anyone to speak to anyways. Nobody could know. Nobody SHOULD know. And so, nobody would know. Her teacher picked up on few of her puzzled expressions, but she dismissed it as if she just did not understand the lesson. Natalie also felt as if she was in serve pain. She had no idea it could...hurt. Feeling scared, she walked home and silently went to her room. But later in the day, she was once again greeted by her brother. Nobody would know. At school, she finally decided to tell someone. Even though they weren't her friends, she just felt she had to. She walked up tp group of girls she would occasionally see in the hallway. They looked like nice girls, and they and Natalie had occasionally talked before.

"Hey...Mia..." The ginger girl looked over Natalie with straight face.

"Yeah?" Mia said to Natalie. "I...uh...really need to talk to you about something.

It's been going on for a while, and you and your friends....Well, i feel like you are the only people i can trust" Mia and her friends seem to pull little smirks, but only for a moment. Little did Natalie know they were hungry for gossip.

"Alright, you can trust us. what's up?"

One day later, was all it took. She had been getting constant remarks on social networking sites, such as facebook. One time, someone even called her whore. Not to mention they're lunch had been getting in her hair. It was going to be least of her problems, but Natalie, being only 9, could not help but be greatly upset at this fact.

However she did not cut, she did not peep, and she never said a word about it. As you may recall, so far in this journey, she had kept everything inside. She supposed it was better. She wouldn't let any pain get the best of her.

* * * *

3:00 AM. School night. Her mother was going to kill her. The girl known as Natalie was now 16. She was productive in high school, close to honor roll. For once, she felt calm and happy. Though, like the usual, she would occasionally become a hermit in her room, hiding away from her dad, who still liked to constantly yell and scream about the economy, money and politics, and all of the other bullshit she was flat-out tired of hearing.

Her eyes started to feel heavy. She had an assignment to work on- but that was no longer important to her. All that was on her mind, was sleep. She closed her laptop, and after her eyes adjusted to the darkness slightly, she saw her old, worn down stuffed giraffe in the corner. She stared at it, in complete and utter silence. Memories passed through her mind, she felt tears come to her eyes. But quickly she blinked them back.

"No more breaking" She thought tp herself. But she continiued to stare at it. "What the fuck are you looking at?" She said to the stuffed object. It simply stared back with soft, black, beady eyes. She shook her head and stood up. She looked down sadly at the little toy animal and gently picked it up in her arms. She cradled it and spoke softly to it.

"I-I'm sorry..." Some tears ran down her face. She pet its rough, short fur softly as she lay down on her bed. She slowly went to sleep.

She was woken up by the angry growls of her mother. Exhausted, she slowly opened one of her eyes.

"I can't believe i forgot to take the laptop away! You were on it for whole night, weren't you?" Natalie sighned and pressed her face deeper in the pillow, hugging her giraffe closer. Her mother sighned and walked out. She took a shower, brushed her teeth, ate some breakfast. Then she got dressed. She put on gray and blue hoodie with fur inside its hood. It wasn't her favorite, but it was the only one she could wear to school due to the others being in wash. She also put on black jeans and some thin "fashionable" boots. Finally, she went down the stairs to get driven to school. She hopped in the car and her mom sped off.

However, on the way there, due to lack of sleep, she slowly put her head against the window of the car and began to drift off. Her dreams- or more accuratly, nightmares- consisted firstly of her pysical abuse as a child and, secondly, of the sexual abuse she had suffered at the hands of her own brother,

Lucas. The abuse had lasted for four years before she had the guts to turn him away. She started twitching and cringing in her sleep, but her mother took no notice. Her mother never took notice. Suddenly, she was jolted awake by the sound of her mother's voice.

"We're here" Her mother said with annoyance in her voice, most likely fro catching Natalie napping again. She looked at the large sign of the school, which read " Walkerville Collegiate Institute for the Creative Fine arts". She sighned tiredly and stepped out, putting her backpack on her shoulder.

"See ya" She proclaimed and closed the car door.

She walked into the school and chatted with a couple of friends until she went up to her locker on the third floor. She grubbed her books, and before the five minutes of time was over, she ran to class.

Her english teacher annoyingly put her hand on Natalie's desk. "Where's you assignment, Miss Ouellette?"

Natalie swallowed.

"I...uh..forgot it at home. Sorry, Miss Homenuik"

"Your time is up, Miss Ouellette. Don't dissapoint me". Natalie seemed puzzled by the thought for a moment. She didn't know why, but those words seem to melt through her. She simply ignored it and went back to listening to lesson, and falling asleep not too long after, of course. Later that day, she was heading to her locker for fourth period, when suddenly, her boyfriend Chris approached her.

"Hey, um...talk to me after school, alright?" She smiled. She loved talking to Chris. At the time, she didn't suspect anything. Chris was always sweet to her.

During her french class, Natalie failed to pay attention. Instead, she doodled the things she loved to draw the most: blood, gore , people being stabbed, knives, and macabre things of sort. Others would say it was pretty dark of her to draw such things, but she saw nothing wrong with it. For some strange reason, it actually felt like normal thing to her.

" Miss Ouellett "

She quickly covered her doodles on her paper and looked up at her french teacher quickly, trying to hide her fear. " Uh, yes, Mr. LeVasseur?" With the slight turn of his head, he gestured to her to move her arm.

"Show me your work"

She hesitantly moved her arm, showing her teacher a picture of someone getting stabbed by insane man. The teacher stared, puzzled, looking at her a bit. She smiled nervously.

"Erase that and get started on your work" he said in strangely calm voice. He walked away, and she sighned and began to erase the picture. "And Miss Ouellette..." Mr. LeVasseur innterupted. She looked up at him slightly. "Your time is almost up to get your work donw, i suggest doing it now"

She growled at the remark. Time always seems to be against her. As far as she was concerned, time could go fuck itself. After class, she walked out from the school to find her boyfriend standing near the fence on the sidewalk. She smiled and walked over, hoping he had something to say that would cheer her up on this miserable day. But as she walked closer, her smile slowly faded. He wasn't smiling back.

"Chris what's wrong? What did you wanted to talk to me about?"

He sighned.

"Natalie, i think its time for us to...start seeing other people"

She felt her heart break.

"But...why?" Natalie cried. He responded with a stern look.

"It's your mindset...your drawings...they just...creep me out. I think there's really something wrong with you. And the saddest part is that you haven't told me why you're acting like this. It makes me feel irresponsible. So, I...just can't do it anymore. I'm sorry" And with that, he walked away.

* * * *

Natalie slammed her hands on the bathroom counter at home. She stared at herself in the mirror, her eye twitching. "I-I wont hurt myself like the others. i can stay strong"

There was needle and black thread in her hands.

"It's pointless, it doesn't help.." Some weird sensation pulled at her subconscious. She chuckled slightly.

"No, im doing it because i want to" She heldup the needle with thread on the end of it and smirked.

"Time is up"

Piece after piece, cut after cut. Even though excruciating pain was going through her, she did not whine. She didn't whimper. She did not cry. There were no more tears to shed. All she did was smile. Blood leaked from the pierces and make a low dripping noise into the sink and on counter. When she was finished, she stood back and admired her handiwork. She stroked the horrendous stitches on the side of her mouth, which spread into wide a smile.

She felt the warm, wet blood on her fingers and licked it gently, consuming the metallic-tasting liquid in pure ecstasy. She stopped when she saw her mother's reflection in the mirror behind her, and sharply turned around. She saw her mother's wide eyes and pale face, and looked at her fingers, seeing the blood. She suddenly felt the pain, and began to cry.

"Mom?.." Natalie cried. She had never felt so confused. What did just happened to her?

Her mother had scheduled some therapy for her. Natalie had not gotten rid of the stitches, in fear of how much pain it would bring, so she went to session with it. She made sure her hood was up, as to not let anyone see. She set down on the comfortable leather seat and stared at the blonde woman across from her in silence.

"So you name is Natalie, isn't it?" She nodded.

"Im Debera, im here to help. Now tell me, Natalie, what have been some of your problems recently?" Natalie stared.

"Time, time has been my problem" Debra gave her confused look.

"What about time, dear?" Natalie's hands roughly gripped on the leather sit.

"Everything. It makes you live through it, slowly progressing through life, being controlled by society, only to be tortured to seemingly no end, until you find you no longer have a purpose. It's a vicious circle. Time does not end. It does not slow down. It does not speed up. It is violent. It makes you live through the torture over and over again, unable to fast-forward through any of it"

Natalie really had no idea what she had just said. She felt like she wasn't herself anymore. Could this be because of all the things she had kept inside? No, that was impossible. But for some strange reason, she...liked it.

The therapist leaned in closer. "Sweetheart, i want you to tell me what happened to you"

Natalie continiued staring. There was a long pause. She smirked slightly, the wounds from her stitches opening slightly once again. "Why don't you tell me, blondie? You're the expert"

Debera appeared mildly annoyed.

"Natalie, i can't help unless you tell me what's wrong?" Natalie's fingers started to tear in the leather seat.

"Natalie isn't here anymore"

With that, Debera's eyes widened and she rose to her feet.

"Ill be right back. Please, stay here". She walked out, leaving Natalie alone. Maybe if she had done something at this point, she wouldn't have come to be what she is today. Maybe more people would be alive. And maybe she would be same as she was before.

As much as i would like to say that Natalie got up from that chair and stopped what came next from happening, im obligated to give you the horrid truth. Natalie didn't move. She sat perfectly still, in total silence and absolutely calm, in that chair. And after a while of waiting impatiently, her parents walked in. Natalie stood up, happy to go, but she noticed her parent's expressions. Even her father had a strange, saddened expression on his face. Her confusion grew, but she said nothing and followed them to the car. On the way, while she thought she was going back home, she started to drift off.

strangely, she heard a dark voice speak in her dream. It almost sounded like her own.

"Your time is up"

She shot awake, some beads of sweat rolling down her face. She wasn't in home. She wasn't in car. She was in bed. A white bed. In white room. She looked to her side and realized she was hooked up to a heart monitor. She attempted to get up, but thats when she realised she was restrained. She panicked. She began to struggle, but paused when she heard a door open to her left. A man in the white shirt looked at her, his hands behind his back. He resembled one of the cliched doctors you would see in television program set in scientific lab. She paid full attention as "Me. Scientist" started to speak.

"I can only imagine how confused you must be right now" he said, " but im letting you know, we are only here to help. Your parents allowed us to administer medication to you, in hopes of helping your state of mind" . Natalie opened her mouth to protest, but was quickly silenced.

"You dont need to worry" the doctor soughted to ressured her."Youll be back to normal in no time. just try to relax" he walked over, and as he did, she tried to move away, but was unable due to the leathe straps on her wrists and feet. He carefully took mask, put it over her mouth and nose. She tried to get it off, but felt herself starting to slip under as the drugs kicked in, and slowly her eyes shut.