1 Chapter 1
"You are not with me, but still, you are, and I can feel you with every breath of mine." - Geeta Kagra
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Being a girl is not easy because you face tons of questions like why didn't you get married yet? You will face issues in late pregnancy. You should not be out late at night, and it becomes worse when you have to go out of India for work, and your parents are just so concerned about you because you are their only daughter, Just like me, Aashna.
Hey Everyone; let me introduce myself first; I am Aashna Mirza, 29, single, and an aspiring writer. I live with my parents in Mumbai, and my books are doing great in many countries of course, my parents are really happy about it. So yesterday I got a call from the JADA publication house that they want me to finish the current book ASAP and I have to be in the USA for the next six months because there are other things they want to do and discuss personally with me. My parents are really modern and broad-minded and always supported my decision. They supported me two years ago when I said that I was not ready for marriage. But you know my parents are super-concerned about my well-being. So here I am trying to convince them that they will allow me to go to the USA. Currently, I am sitting on the single couch in the living room in front of my parents. They are deep in thought and their facial expressions are telling that they are not happy with my decision to go to the USA.
"Aashna, are you sure about it? I mean, your books are doing great. Why do you need to go to the USA?" I heard Mom and felt like what I would do with my life if they wouldn't allow me to go anywhere. Still, I composed and told Mom, "Mom, there are tons of work pending, and since I am working for a big publishing house, they want me to be available while the book goes for the final modification."
"And Mom, I am not going USA for the first time.", I continued. Yes, I went to the USA a few years ago when my book was first published, and there was a launch party for it.
"But you are going there for six months Aashna and that is the concern.", It was my dad and I finally gave up and stood with annoyance, "What do you want me to do then?"
They knew my anger which is increasing day by day and they just don't know the reason for it. Because I never told them what their daughter has gone through.
I pleaded again, "Please let me go and live my life. You can't expect me to fly while I am caged. I need time."
"Okay, if you feel this is necessary, then go ahead.", Dad replied half-heartedly, which I saw on his face, but without discussing it further, I went to my room after saying, "Thanks, Dad."
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I have a flight after three days, so I started packing as it will be a long stay there I don't want to miss anything. I was placing my laptop and diary in my bag when I heard my cellphone ringing with the ringtone 'love me like, you do'.
"Hi Sana", I picked up and walked to the balcony and saw the stars in the sky. She suspected my voice and immediately asked, "What happened? You are sounding low."
I sat on the chair on the balcony and told her, "Mom Dad, they don't want me to go. What should I do? What should I tell them that their daughter is going through depression alone?"
While telling her, my voice was suddenly loud without realizing and I heard Sana, "Aashna relax. They just don't know what happened four years ago, and after your accident, they are more concerned about you."
"Then tell me how do they expect me to work if I am not allowed to go somewhere alone.", I asked irritatingly and she argued, "They are not stopping you."
I huffed and said, "Sana, I want to go. Jasmine is there. She said that she would take care of me and I would be safe."
She encouraged me, saying, "Then don't think much and just go", and I hummed in response. To lighten the mood, she joked, "And please find a hot boyfriend for you and let him fuck you hard. Trust me, you will forget everything."
I chuckled and teased her saying, "You know I have a better idea. I will find a hot boyfriend for you so that he can help you to go to Cloud Nine."
"How concerned you are for me.", she said dramatically and I asked. "Sana, what should I do with you?"
"Nothing. I am not a lesbo.", she replied, and we laughed thinking about the incident which happened in our college when people believed that we had something between us.
"What did I do in the previous life that God blessed me with a friend like you?" I asked, and she replied like a saint., "No idea." We chatted for some time, and then I disconnected the call and went to do my packing.
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Three days passed like seconds, we shopped for many things for my stay in the USA and Mom packed tons of food for me so that I wouldn't miss her much. She cares for me a lot, and I just can't afford to tell her my condition because they will not be happy listening to my condition, and I know they will blame him, which I don't want.
Whatever happened between us was not in our hands. We had our understanding, and I am ready to leave him so that at least he can live his life peacefully. It was a long flight to the USA. I am not a person who loves traveling so I won't say I enjoyed it because I feel sleepy in travel and most of the time I sleep.
I had just landed in New York, and as soon as I grabbed my luggage, I called my mom, but the call went to voice mail directly, "Hey, Mom, I have reached here. I will be at my hotel in half an hour. I will take care of myself. Please sleep, and I will call you tomorrow."
"New York, Finally I am here.", I murmured and felt the cool chilled wind on my face.
It was my dream to live alone on my own without any interference, and I am happy. At least just for a few months, but it is happening. I took the cab to my hotel, which the publication house booked. It may take time for them to find me an appropriate place, so they decided that I would stay in the hotel for a few days.
Currently, I am sitting in the cab and seeing the people walking hand in hand with their partners and my mind immediately took me to the moments when we were together. I thought, "There was a time when I planned to come here with you but life is not always about happiness. You will feel the hard times too. Just like I am doing."
"It's been four years since I last saw you in person, and you must have changed a lot now. I don't know how easy it was for you to move on.", I saw his only picture, which was with me on my phone, and smiled thinking of his cute smile.
"Seems I will never move on in my life. A part of mine always wants to see you in front of me. I still find myself sitting at the railway station waiting for you.", I concluded and looked at the bracelet in my hand thinking, "I don't know how many trips I have done without you but I feel I never felt the happiness again. I want to live, Adwait, but not without you."
Suddenly a lone tear came to my eyes. "Ma'am, we are here.", the driver declared, and I paid him and said, "Thank you." It took only ten minutes at the reception for the check-in because all the arrangements were already made and I just had to sign some papers.
Soon I was in my room. The room was big, with some great Italian marble, stunning paintings right in front of me, a huge bathroom, and of course a study which I needed a lot.
After refreshing up I called Jasmine, and she picked it up in the third ring. I heard her voice, "Hello", and replied, "Hi Jasmine, thanks for the lovely flowers."
"You are most welcome, Aashna.", She replied, and I heard the cute voice behind her, which must be her girl. "Hope you had a great journey.", she inquired, and I replied, "Yeah, everything was good."
"Then you go for rest. Tomorrow is Sunday. Let's meet.", She suggested, but I denied it saying, "Let's meet on Monday in the office. I don't feel like going out. I want to have a good rest before starting my work." She understood and replied, "Sure. Take care."
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The next day I woke up late, around nine in the morning, and got fresh. I spoke with my mom for some time and tried to write but nothing came to my mind. So I thought I should go out and clear my mind so that I would be myself at work. I just can't afford to be embarrassed.
I changed into a maxi dress and took my purse and went down to the hotel reception. I asked one of the staff in the hotel. "Is there any library nearby?" "Yes ma'am, it's six km away from here. It's a cafe basically but there are tons of books that you would love to read.", He told me and I left after thanking him, "Thanks a lot."
I took a cab to the library and reached there within fifteen minutes; I ordered a cappuccino for myself and thought to grab a book meanwhile. I walked to the book's corner and started searching for a good read. I grabbed one book and looked at the alone girl looking at the sea on the cover.
I read the writer's name and suddenly heard someone, "The Turning Point by Aashna Mirza, one of the greatest books you would ever read." There was a guy who must be a college-going standing with coffee and two or three books in his hands. I smiled and asked, "Really?"
"Yeah, I read it a few months ago and again reading it the sixth time. I am addicted to their lead characters.", He told me, and I nodded, saying, "Then I think I should also give it a try."
"You should, but I feel whatever happened in this story is so unfair.", he said. I looked at him shockingly, and he immediately apologized, "Sorry, I won't be a spoil spot. You go and read it yourself."
"Thanks.", I said, and he left. I looked at the book in my hand and said, "I wish I could have the strength to read it again." I placed the book again at its place and went to my place and started having my coffee while browsing the internet and deciding what I could do there.
I was reading a great article about relationships and the issues people face in it when I heard a soft voice and felt someone tapping my hand, "Aunty?" I looked at the tiny girl who must be three years old with a cute miniskirt and top, and she continued, "I need your help. Can you help me?"
"Sure, tell me.", I replied, placing my coffee back on the table. She told me, "I want to pee, but I can't go alone." I searched here and there and found none because everyone was busy with their work, so I asked to confirm, "Are you alone?"
"No, my dad was with me. He just went out for a call.", she said, holding her tummy. I looked out to have a look at her father but she brought me out of my thoughts when I heard her again, "Please help. It's an emergency."
"Yeah, let's go.", I said and took her to the washroom hurriedly.
