11 The Day After

I woke up in my bed, which was comforting, since that was where I usually woke up. For a few moments, I lay there, my eyes closed, recounting my memories of the night before. When I opened my eyes and saw no cats or rats or mice in my room, I breathed a sigh of relief and came to the only logical conclusion:

What happened last night was just a very strange dream.

Slowly, I sat up in my bed and cast another sweeping glance across my room. Satisfied that there were no furry interlopers, I stood up, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, and went about my morning routine.

None of my family brought up me being out last night, which reaffirmed my conclusion that it was all a dream, though Dawn kept giving me strange looks. Still, there could be any number of reasons why she would do that, and I was about to ask her which of those reasons it was in case she told me it was because of my late night adventures, which would imply it was not all a dream, which was patently ridiculous, so I shouldn't bring it up in the first place, alright!?

And so it came to pass that I found myself once again standing behind the counter in my parents' shop, staring into the dull face of a stranger who didn't understand what was happening but was determined to get their way regardless.

"I bought this Stone of Alarm yesterday, and I don't like how it shouts," the woman informed me, holding up the enchanted item in question.

"Oh," I said. "I'm sorry about that. Is it going off more often than it should?"

"No, no, it works perfectly," the woman said. "It hasn't gone off, except when I tested it. But I don't like the shout. It's too shrill."

"Yeah, it can be pretty shrill," I said. "Unfortunately, we don't have any with different noises."

"It's just so annoying."

"I know."

"Why can't it be quieter and less intrusive?"

I blinked. Then collected myself. This was a slip of the tongue obviously. If she'd paused to think about it, the answer as to why a magical stone that's enchanted to go off when someone tries to enter your home without permission would be loud and hard to ignore was an obvious one. If I pointed out the answer, she'd doubtlessly be embarrassed and probably lash out at me to cover it up, and that was the last thing I needed.

"Well, it needs to work as an alarm," I said before I could even register the words leaving my mouth.

Her eyes seemed to widen slightly, and I braced myself to endure the price of my foolish mistake. Maybe if I pretended like I hadn't just implied she was stupid, she wouldn't press the issue. I quickly looked around the store for any sort of distraction, but found none. Just a… cat. Outside the window… Looking right at me.

Then again, maybe I should take my chances with the soon-to-be-irate customer.

"Well, I know that," the woman said. "But the thing is, I didn't even want to get this silly thing. My husband; he's such a worrywort. He keeps telling me that I need security in case something happens when he's not home. But I tell him: we have a dog, and I don't like the sound of alarm stones, but he keeps insisting we need one, so here I am. Even though the dog is plenty of protection. His name is Skipper, by the way, and he is just the cutest little thing…"

Oh gods above, it was storytime.

I stood behind the counter, captive and trapped, trying desperately to think of a way I could escape from this situation, praying to whatever gods would listen that she would finish her long and rambling tale of nonsense soon. But no such luck. She was describing how her neighbor gets along with her dog now. I could not care about this in the least and I wondered how she could possibly think that imparting any of this information was necessary.

"Sorry?" I asked.

"I said that my neighbor always saves some extra food for Skipper," the woman told me.

She had said that, I realized. I'd heard her say that, and I had seen her mouth form the words. But at the same time, I had heard her voice say something else, about failing marriages and friendly faces. Her mouth hadn't formed those words, but I'd heard it, clear as day, right alongside the words her mouth was actually forming.

It was exactly like what had been happening last night; in my dream. I was hearing things people weren't saying, but I was hearing them over what was actually being said. My eyes flickered over to the cat watching me through the window.

No. No way. This was imposible. All of this was impossible.

And yet… here we were.

"You're right," I said suddenly.

She stumbled over her words and blinked at me. "What?"

"You're right," I repeated. "Your husband is worrying, probably too much, but I mean, he wants to make sure you're safe, so it's, um, kind of hard to fault him for that." I really didn't know where I was going with this.

"I know," the woman said. "But it can be so… stifling." <I just need some time to myself, away from him.>

Oh heaven above, what was I getting myself into. "Have you told him that?" I asked. She opened her mouth to reply, but I realized that maybe that was the wrong move and hurriedly added: "Maybe you have some family you could visit? Spend some time with them, get your thoughts together, and then you'll know what you'll want to say to him when you get back."

My main motivation up until this point was to get her out of my store, but it now occured to me that, if she followed my advice and then it didn't work, she may return to give me a piece of her mind. And given that I had absolutely zero experience with the kind of situation I was advising her on, the chances of that happening were unfortunately pretty good.

To my horror, she smiled and said: "That's a good idea, actually. Thank you. I can go spend a weekend with my mother."

"Um."

"I guess I'll keep the Stone of Alarm, just to keep the peace until I get back."

"Oh."

And then she was walking out the front door, smiling and waving at me and calling "thank you very much" as she did so.

I stared at the closing door, and then I stared some more at the closed door. What the fuck had just happened?

My eyes drifted back to that cat. I swear it looked amused.

"Hey, Corvus," Egretta said suddenly, emerging from the backroom, "did you sell any Potions of Healing yesterday?"

"No," I said, only really barely paying attention. "I, uh, I feel sick. Cover for me."

"What?"

I was already walking out the back. "I need to get some fresh air," I called to my sister. "Sorry! I'll make it up to you!"

I didn't hear her response. I was already outside in the alley, where I found that old grizzled grey tomcat waiting for me.

"So tell me, Peacemaker," Nirir said, surprisingly casually, "are you ready to learn of your destiny?"

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