2 Bitter Lemon

Jim and I caught an uber together. He had became my car buddy since I was still saving for a Volkswagen Beetle. I guess we were friends who worked together. It was a bit odd hanging with someone out of the work scene. I think he likes me. People always tell me I'm very pretty. My body was regular though, nothing amazing. I'm in dire needs of glute bridges. I have some fat you can pinch. Frizzy auburn hair, dark green eyes, you'd have to see them in sunlight to notice...that's the 43% of my Scottish side. Okay looking lips. Light freckles.

"Who was that dude in dick heads office?" Jim's baby face watched me.

"His son..."

"What?! He talk to his daddy like that, you gotta give me the tea!"

"Umm...no it's personal and fucked up, we can talk about something else."

Jim scratches his head of blonde hair. "Wanna go see Captain Marvel tonight?" His tone got shaky.

"Look...Jim, I'm not looking for dating, school and work is all I'm focused on. I have a ten page essay waiting for me, sorry." His blue eyes lower. "Maybe you can ask the new girl, I saw her checking you out." I lie. Feeling like a bitch.

"Yeah, she's cute."

I nod. "So cute, think her name is Cindy." I suffer through an uncomfortable car ride. Guys do this thing when you reject them...this wounded, seemly unfazed but butt hurt shit but won't admit it. Jim stay looking out the window, sun splashing over him. Mad, of course. He'll be okay. My stop arrive. A dorm complex. "Have fun tonight, k?"

"Okay."

Inside I caught the time, 6:30 pm. My fingers type on a keyboard of a purple laptop, scribbling computerized letters onto a screen. My paper's subject is abortion. Pro vs Anti, murder vs saving. My take on the subject was in the middle. I'd been pregnant before...at sixteen actually. I thought a smooth talking basketball player was my one and only. The asshole got two other girls knocked up with a repeated pickup line. I had a dream about us. Ew to me and him. Anyway, I was too young to be a mom...and my parents being religious made my choice final. Wedlock, devil child, heathen...those are just a few words they used on fellow neighbors. Imagine what they'd say about me, their daughter. So I went through with the operation and am now I'm working a good job and in college. My mind still wonders about if choosing not to parent was right. I like kids...and even found myself envious of classmates who had the kid along with the family structure. The stability. I don't think school and work is stable enough for me...the two positions seem replaceable...predictable. I could op out with ease which kinda scares me. I'm not completely loyal to either. But with a kid...a baby, walking away is not an option. Even bad kids have parents in their lives. Lex pops up in my train of thought.