16 Chapter sixteen: Kisses

"I think I should hire some bodyguards for you."

and with that, my eyes really widened. Widened more than saucers.

"No.. No.. No..! You can't do that!" I get my hand and walked past him.

My goodness! It's been four years and I am living on my own without any bodyguards walking behind me or looking what I am doing. And I can't live having them again anymore. That's why I don't want my parents to know what happened. They will surely insist that thing also. And I can't let that to happen. I can protect myself.

"It's just for your own safety, Rian! I am not there 24/7 to protect you in case it will happen again!" I heard him talking behind me.

-'What did he say? He can't be there for me?-'

I stopped as soon as I realized what he just said. Irritation instantly creeped out my body.

"What did you say?" he also stopped and looked surprised when he heard my voice laced with anger.

"You can't be there for me 24/7? Why? When was the time you've been there for me?"

"Rian, that's not what I mean----"

"No, Alex!" I bitterly laughed. "You're really not there for me for the past four years! For four years of us being married. No one was there to protect me. I tried to live on my own without you in this marriage and in my life! That's why I am asking you, why are you doing this? What is the difference between now and then, for you not to be there for me in those four years? And then you're here now? Claiming me suddenly as your wedded wife?"

"Rian..." he sighed. "I'm here now. I can be your husband you wanted me to be-----"

"Alex, it's not that simple!"

"I know! And I'm sorry." he just take two long steps to get to near me and hold my shoulders.

"Sorry? Sorry for not being there for me? You don't need to."

"I'm sorry. For not being with you in every possible hour. But I can promise you now, I will be here in every step of your way. I will be here in case you needed me." he looked straight into my eyes.

"Alex..." I looked away. My heart is beating so fast like it just came from a marathon. "I - I don't know what to say." I said shaking my head.

"Then don't. If you're not comfortable talking about this, I won't force you. I just want you to believe me. I can't explain it to you right now. But I promise, when I'm ready to explain this, I will tell you everything. I will explain everything." I tried to find some lies on his eyes but I can't find anything.

I nodded. He now take my hand and we started to walk again.

"Good. Now let's talk about your bodyguards----"

"No!" I said shaking my head.

"But why don't you want bodyguards? Rian, it's just a guard for your safety."

"I lived my whole life having that freaking guards every day. I finally came to convince my Dad to live on my own with the help of Dani. And when I said living on my own, I don't want anything that comes from my parents... money allowance, foods, house and even bodyguards. I felt like a prisoner having them beside me or even behind me."

"But it's for your safety. And it's not from your parents this time. It's from me, just to make sure your safety."

"Safety." I silently repeat just to myself. "I don't want them.. when one of them almost rape me." it's just a memory I muttered to myself, but my eyes widened in shocked when he tightened his hold in my hand and spin me around to face him.

"What did you say?" he's angry again.

-'my God! When can we arrive to our suite?'-

"It's in the past. And I already forget that." I said trying to calm his tensed shoulder.

"When did that happen?"

"When I was in college, but Dani reported him to the police. That's why he helped me when I said I want to live on my own after I graduated."

"Your parents doesn't know about this?"

"No. I don't want them to know any of it, especially what happened last night. And I am asking you a favor to just keep it to yourself, because for sure when they found out... I will have to suffer again having bodyguards on my side." I sighed.

"I won't let that to happen."

"Thank you."

"I mean you.. being in danger."

We entered our suite with him behind me. I walked directly to the kitchen to wash my travel mug. But I was shocked when he also stand beside me in the sink.

" What are you doing here? You can stay in the living room or you can go back to your suite."

"Yeah. I just have ahmm.." he swallowed hard.

"You just have what?" I asked facing him.

"Nothing. Forget it."

"Okay." I said nodding. "I have a question."

"What is it?"

I gulped, not so sure if I am going to ask this to him.

"Uhm.. h-how many...?"

""Yes? how many what?" he takes my hand.

-'Should I ask this?'-

"H-How many women h-have you dated.... you know?" I bite my tongue inside and avoid his gaze.

I heard him chuckled.

"Oh, baby.. is that your real question or.. you want to ask how many woman have I just sex with?"

-'God! this is so embarrassing!'- I gulped again.

"Do you really wanna know the answer?"

I bite my bottom lip. "No! I'm just...argh! forget it!"

I shouldn't have asked that.

"How about you? How many men did you----?"

"You're really asking me that?" I cut him off as I felt my cheeks blushed.

"Yes. I just want to know."

My breath hitched.

-'What if play with him? Hmm..'- I smirked inwardly.

"Is it really important? I mean, is it important to you if you know that I am not-----"

"No!" he said breathlessly. "It's okay. That's not important!" he said turning away his eyes, but his hold slightly tightened.

-'Oh..man and his ego.'- I raised my eyebrow.

"Are you sure that's not really important? You don't want to know how many-----"

"Rian!" he turned to me narrowing his eyes.

-'huh! gotcha!'-

"I told you it's not important!" he raised his voice.

"If it's not important, why are you being mad?"

"I'm not mad! It's just.... let's not talk about this!"

he sounded pissed. I really wanted to laugh.. and that's what I did.

I laughed. And when you say laugh... it's really a laugh and I need to grip the sink.

"Why are you laughing?" his face turning red.

"I just hope you'd seen your face. It's priceless, my God!" and I laughed again.

"What are you talking about?"

I swear, if his looks could kill, you can't find me standing right now.

"Jeez, Alex! I'm just kidding! You really dared to ask me that question?" I'm now standing straight and stopped laughing.

"What do you mean you're kidding?"

"I'm kidding... joking! I'm a virgin and I am still a virgin! You really think of me like that? I'm not a slut or a whore who would open their legs with any man that they pleased. Jeez! I won't do that! When I know I'm still married to you. Maybe if this contract ends." I said not noticing the transition of emotions on his face. From being surprised to narrowing his eyes.

"You're still a virgin."

"Yes!" I proudly said.

" And you played with me!"

"Huh------" I was cut off by his lips. He just takes one step to pulled me to him and put his hand on the back of my neck and the other one is on my lower back. He kissed me! No... he's now kissing me. I felt my knees giving up with my body but he held me still. It took time for me to process what is happening until I found my own lips moving against his lips. I can taste the coffee that he drank earlier.

My hands automatically lifted up to the back of his neck and to his hair, caressing the softness of it. Electricity and sparks shooting my whole body and it heated me up to the next level. His hand moving up and down my spine to my butt. He bite my bottom lip and pressed tight my butt that causes me to gasped. And that lead him the way to enter his tongue inside my mouth, tasting me and savouring all that is inside.

A small moan escaped from my lips and he groaned frustratedly. He continue his assaults to my month and pressing me more to his body. I can feel his erection against my core and another moan escaped from me. My lungs are now lacking in air but I can find myself stopping from this kiss... until he pulled ourselves away and put his forehead on mine.

Our hard breathing mixed together. Both our chests were rising up and down due to our heavy breathing.

"My God, Rian! I really need to stop myself right now.. or I swear I'm gonna take you against this counter." he said and pressed his lips on my forehead. I can feel the blush that is creeping now not just on my face but also down to my neck.

He pulled me into a hug and put his chin on top of my head.

"How many men have you been kissed?"

I gasped at his question. My face turned into crimson red by thinking my answer. I sighed and he held my face looking at me.

"It's okay. You don't have to answer that. I don't care."

"No. I-I mean.. I haven't kissed anyone... e-except you." I almost whispered the last two words.

His eyes widened and his jaws dropped. He looked at me surprised.

"You mean, y-you didn't kissed any----"

"Yes! It's been you who k-kissed me. A-And ever since our wedding, I haven't kissed anyone. See? I'm that naive----"

"No! don't say that!"

"You were my first kiss." I said looking at him.

"I know." he smiled.

"Huh!" I gasped. How did he know----

"I know that I was your first kiss, i-i just can't believe that I'm also your second kiss. I mean.. don't get it wrong. I'm glad... I mean I'm happy that I am the one who took that. Your first and you're second. And I want to be the only one who will be able to do that. I also want to be your last." then he looked at me seriously.

I didn't say anything. The truth is.. I don't know what to say... I'm just looking at him.

"Have you been on any date?" he asked suddenly.

"Yes." I answered quickly.

"Yes?" and his face turned serious again.

"Yes. Cari always setting me up on a blind date, before." I answered nonchaly before I stop myself. His hold tightened, and I just smiled.

Seriously? I can smile in front of him despite of his bloody dark glare?

"From now on, your also not going on a date with any man! Blind date and any kind of date especially with a man. Do you understand?"

"But how about my friends? How about my sun-date with Gavi----"

"And most especially not with that Gavin!"

"No! He's my bestfriend!" my eyes widened.

This man is so impossible.

"I don't care whether he is your bestfriend or whoever he is in your life! I said you're not going out with him, alone!"

I raised my eyebrow. Yeah. Of course, he didn't know who is Gavin.

"You said alone.. so that means I can still go out with him if we are in a group?" I smiled inwardly.

"But no pairings!"

"What?" I asked him in disbelief. "You're impossible, you know that?" I walked to the other side of the table.

"That I am!"

"Oh God! You're just jealous with Gavin!" I shouted subconsciously... it's too late to take it back. I looked at him not so sure what was the written emotion in my eyes.

He laughed.. not the kind of happy laugh but a warning laugh.

"Oh, sweetheart.. yes I am! I'm jealous with him every time he touches you!"

My heart stopped its beat. Am I really hearing this?

"He's just my bestfriend!" I don't know why I have to tell him this repeatedly. But of course, Gavin's secret will be safe with me even from Alex.

"Yeah. And your bestfriend always that touchy when it comes to you!"

"Huh! Alex, can you hear what you're saying?"

"Yes. And I have all the rights because you're my wife! And from now on, even if I have to prove to the world that you're mine, I will do that. You're mine, Rian! Four years ago and until now!"

"You're crazy!"

"Yeah.. and I want to show you how crazy I am right now... sweetheart!" my eyes turned wide when he started to walk towards me.

I am about to scream when someone did it for me.

"Hey, hey! You two .. couple! You're seriously want to do that in the kitchen? My God!" I blushed hard as I heard Cari's voice with Ryan on her back... laughing.

How did I not notice that the front door opened? And how long they've been listening to our conversation? My face really turned in a tomato red. And I squealed when I was pulled back into a hard chest of Alex. He's now also chuckling as hugged me from behind.

"Mind your own world!" he just only said before he spins me around to face him. "Gotcha!" he said smiling.

I rolled my eyes.

"As what I was saying, I want to show you how crazy I am." he said smiling like a maniac before capturing my lips again. But this time, in a sweet and passionate kiss.

"Jeez!" I heard Cari muttered before they disappeared from the kitchen, but I didn't have time to look at her because Alex held my face to steady me from moving.

I respond to his kiss with a smile on my lips. Silently hoping that this would be our start. I still have questions to ask, but that could wait. And I don't want this moment to ruined by that.