9 Chapter Nine: Confession

Rian's POV:

"What?" I turned around at him. I also tried to get my wrist from him but he just tightened it more causing me to flinch from pain.

"Ahh!" he loosened his hold and his facial expression softened.

"I'm sorry for that. But we need to talk." he's tone back again into a hard one.

"Talk? We don't have anything to talk about." I snapped.

"Oh, yes my dear wife, we have to talk about your little boyfriend."

I furrowed my eyes on him and take a deep breath.

"You need to tell me who was that Gavin and what is he to you! Is he your boyfriend?" his grey eyes are boring into my brown eyes.

"I told you, Gavin is just my friend! He's my bestfriend!" why is he acting like this? Like a jealous husband?

-'Oh my...'-

"Bestfriend? A bestfriend doesn't act like that as if he's your boyfriend and not a bestfriend!"

"And so? What is it with you?"

"God damned it! Just tell me, who is him with you?" he grabbed my hand again.

"He's just my bestfriend, you bastard!" I yelled at him. "I have nothing to explain to you! Why are you suddenly acting like this, as if you care? What is it with you if I have a special relationship with him? What, are you jealous?" I saw how he's taken aback by my question.

It seems that he suddenly lost his words. I shook my head.

"Of course, your not!" I answered for him. "So, stop being an ass and let me go!"

I forcefully take my hand and turned around before he can form any word. I left him without hearing anything from him.

Instead of following my friends or going back to our suite, I decided to walk alone at the beach. I want to gather my thoughts alone.

Four years and two months to be exact. I'm married. I was married to him. And in that four years, I am still asking myself. Why does he hate me? And still hates me? What is wrong with me that he can't even have a proper conversation with me? Why does he can't even look at me?

I admit, I was hurt and still I am. From the day of our wedding until this very moment. Every time I saw him in an entertainment section on tv's and in newspapers... with different woman in his arms, how I wished I was one of them. I wished I was in their position, so I can also touch him, hug and kiss him... or even look into his grey eyes that haunted me for those years.

I love him... I loved... and still loving him.

No one knows about it, not even Cari and Gavin. It's my deepest secret that I think I would bring until my last breath. Because I know he wouldn't even return my feelings wherever he knows it. It's a secret that I still keep on myself from four years ago.

He's cold, an arrogant, my heartbreaker, my husband... and I love him, but he doesn't love me back.

"Miss, why are you crying?" a small voice from my behind snapped me from my own world.

"Huh?" and there is a girl who's suspiciously looking at me like I am a criminal.

"Why are you crying?" she asked again.

"Huh? Am I?" and I try to touch my face. And I was surprised and wiped my tears I didn't know I have. I noticed that I am a bit far from where we were earlier, because I can't see any trace of it from here.

"Yes, you were. Is there someone that made you cry?" I bite my bottom lip and I can't help but smile. She is so adorable.

"Ahm.. yes. There is this certain someone who always broke my heart and always made me cry." I sadly smiled and take a seat on the sand.

She also smiled and sit beside me. I don't know why I am suddenly confessing with a child. Well, maybe because I can see myself on her.. and I know that whatever I may tell her, she will surely not going to understand.

"How old are you?"

"I'm seven years old." she answered with a cheerful smile. "My name is Jaime, what's yours?"

I mentally shook my head and smiled. How silly of me. How did I forget to ask her name's first before her age?

"I'm Rian."

"So... you said you're crying because of this certain someone?"

"Ahmm..yes, but not physically. Emotionally it is.

I-I don't know if you can understand this, you're still young."

she just smiled again.

"I know, but don't worry, I understand. My grandmother told me, that sometimes the things that we love and we wished to become part of our life, can't get easily. We need to try hard first. And if in those times that we're trying our very best, we still can't get what we want... maybe it's time for ourselves to let them go. They were not meant for us. They were not meant to be ours."

To say I was shocked was an understatement. My mouth was still open when she finished.

"W-Wow! Are you sure, you're just seven years old not thirty or something?" I asked shaking my head.

This time, she laughed at me.

"Of course, silly."

-"wow! I also become silly to her.'-

"Anyway, nice to meet you, Rian. I need to go back, maybe my mom is looking for me right now. I just saw you crying and then I followed you." she said standing up.

"You followed me?" my eyes widened.

"Yes."

"From where?"

"From where you started to walk and cried alone."

"Ohh..." I don't know what to say.

"Bye Rian. I hope we see each other again someday."

"Of course, we will."

she sadly smiled and shook her head.

"Yeah, I hope too. Bye." then she started to run waving her hands at me.

"Bye."

-'nice Rian. You confessed with a child. You talked with a child instead of your friends. And in strangers, may I add."

- - - - - - - - - - - -

When I get back to the hotel, it's nearly 7 pm. I was shocked when I entered the suite, there on the couch were Ryan beside Cari, Nick beside Jenny and Gavin.

"Oh my God, girl! Where have you been? We've been looking for you for almost an hour. You aren't answering your phone!" Cari started blabbering while Gavin almost jumped on his seat and walked towards me. He hugged me and kissed my forehead. I can't find any tears right now, maybe because it was all drained at the beach earlier and because of Jaimie's words.

"Care to share?" Gavin asked afterwards. I nodded and he walked me to the couch.

Cari gave me a glass of water. I furrowed my eyebrow but I still accept it.

Gavin seated himself beside me and I noticed Ryan has a dark expression watching my every move.

"Cari, I think I have to go. I'll just text you, later." we watched him as he stood up and kissed Cari's temple. I arched my eyebrow by their sudden display of affection. Is this still a part of their plan?

"Okay. Thank you."

-'thank you? what was she's thanking for?'-

She walked him to the door. When she's already seated, I want to ask her was has happened but she bit me first.

"I'm sorry." I was surprised by her words.

"What for?"

"Because it's my plan to set you up with him. We just want to know what would be his reaction if he can see you happy with another man." she looked down on her hands.

"It's not your fault. He just overreacted. Even when he saw me with another man, he shouldn't have reacted the way he did. I mean, we're not that close for him to react like that. And he's really insisting that Gavin is my boyfriend." I heard Gavin's gasped. "He doesn't want to believe that he's just my bestfriend. Forgodsake!"

"He's jealous. And he's jealous of me." Gavin stated while shaking his head. By the looks on Gavin's face, I am sure if we are in a different situation he will laugh so hard because of it.

"I don't know. And I don't want to believe that. I mean, it's been four years of us being married together and he doesn't show any interest in my well being. And why now? Why does suddenly he became jealous? And for all the people... it's you!" I laughed... just to stop by Nick and Jenny's question.

"You're married?" Nick asked having shocked expression.

I sighed before I nodded.

"I'm sorry guys for keeping you this. It's just that I wasn't ready to share it before." I said apologetically.

"It's okay. I know it's hard to keep that kind of secret. But I thought you're still single."

"Yeah, but we're just married in papers."

"Papers? What is that----- an arranged marriage?" Jenny asked with widened eyes.

"Yes."

"Wow! So,  that man... I mean that Alex is really your husband?" she still can't believe the news.

"Yes. A jerk of a husband." Cari answered for me.

"Wait. If you said you two are married even it was an arranged marriage, why aren't you in the same roof? Why aren't you speaking about him? Are you two already separated?"

"Actually Nick, it's a long story. And I'm not talking about my marriage because there is nothing really to talk about." and then I started to explain to the two of them my life story and how did this so-called contractually married started.

"Oh my! I'm sorry, Rian." Jenny blurted out after my storytelling.

"What? Why are you being sorry?" I asked her not knowing her reason of suddenly being sorry.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know he's your husband. We shouldn't have asked you and Gavin to have a bridal race earlier. Maybe that's the reason that triggered him to become like that------"

"Hey! Jenny, it's not your fault. It's nobody's fault, okay? It's his reaction. Actually, I also didn't know why he reacted like that. As if he cares and become possessive all of a sudden?"

"Yeah, he became a jealous jerk when he saw you being carried by Gavin especially when he twirled you around. I swear, if looks could kill, maybe Gavin's body was already chopped by pieces and buried six feet under the ground." I can't help but to smile on Cari's make face.

"My goodness! He's jealous of me? Haha... I'm not even doing anything. What's more, if I agree with Cari's plan? Or what if he saw me kissing the hell out of you. I don't think I can live any seconds after that."

I wanted to laugh, even Cari .. but what was Gavin said...kissing me? makes our stomach churned and we both looked horrified with his idea.

"Eww! you wouldn't dare!" we said in unison.

"Come on, just kidding...duh!" he rolled his eyes. Me and Cari laughed together.

"Ahm, Rian.. I ordered Chinese food for dinner. Are you okay with it?" Nick asked standing up as we heard the elevator's ding.

"Yeah. It's fine with me." Then I remember our said price before we started our race earlier.

Poor Nick.

We chatted while eating and Gavin serves us champaign that's the hotel free offered.

It's already 11:00 pm when we decided to go to sleep. We said our goodnights to each other and headed to our rooms.

Alex's POV:

"What has happened to me?"

I keep asking myself after my outburst earlier at the beach. I acted like a jealous teenager!

After our encounter earlier with Rian, I decided to go to the bar of the hotel to clear my mind from what happened. Since the club scene 3 months ago, I didn't know what's happening to me. I don't know but I stopped my habit of sleeping around. It's just my secretary who I banged with this last 3 months.

When we got married, I promised myself not to fall for her. She's that not easy to love. Her brown hair bounced in her every move. Her eyes that shined every time she's happy and even when she's just smiling. But she's too precious for me... I am a certified manwhore and a womanizer. I don't want her to get hurt. I will die first before I could see her being hurt by my actions.

And it helps me when the contract stated that we don't need to stay under one roof, and I'm glad about it. God knows how much self-control I am taking every time I see her or even when she's just near me. I wanted to kiss her, I wanted to take her, take my rights on her as being her husband. But I know she wasn't ready for anything like that.

That's why I did everything I could just to avoid her. It's not easy, but I did it for four years. And I don't know, I can't take her out anymore in my head, with what was happened 3 months ago, when we go out to a new club to celebrate our newly closed deal. Ryan goes for a dance with some girl in the club, and when he comes back, he said he bumped into a sexy and hot girl.

I was so shocked and surprised when I saw her... on the stage... singing in her tight red dress that fitted in all her curves... but with a guy. I felt my blood boiled that night when that guy hugged and kissed her on the stage. And that was the same guy who carried her in bridal style earlier.

I swear, I want to rip his hands from that very moment and for what happened at the beach. And when I asked her, she said he was just her bestfriend. Bullshit! I wasn't born yesterday not to recognized when a guy has a thing for a girl. And I'm sure that, that Gavin has a thing for her.

Someone patted my shoulder. It's Ryan. He ordered his drink and sat beside me at the counter.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I whispered-yell at him.

"Tell you what?" he acted innocently.

"That she's here! That she's also here!"

"Oh, is it Rian? Why would I, as if you care!" he smirked.

"Damned it, Ryan!"

"Oh... chill dude! What is it with you if I didn't tell you, she's here, and she's my girl's bestfriend. Why would you care suddenly? Is there something will change on how you treated her? You're an ass of a husband! You have such a nice and kind wife, but you choose to being a bastard towards her!"

"You don't know what you're talking about." I said shaking the contents of my glass.

"Really? trust me if I tell you, I know everything from the very beginning. You're such a cocky bastard who played his card not knowing he's giving up all that he had. Let me remind you this again, Alex... I'm your bestfriend, not a five-year-old kid who you can keep away your secret. I know you too well, man. Sometimes you have to let go of your ego even just for a second to appreciate what you have. Be a man and get a grip!"

He gulps the remaining contents in his glass.

"Tell her."

"I can't." I said twirling again the liquor inside the glass.

"Well, I can't force on that, man. It's your decision. Good luck, dude." he patted again my shoulder before he left me there.

Rian's POV:

We woke up early the next morning. Gavin just ordered our breakfast as we are preparing for our swimming plan after it.

I wear another white off-shoulder crop top that ends on my mid stomach and white short-shorts. Under it is my two-piece bikini with black and red color combination. I chose this because it blended well on my skin color. And it's not a pushed up bikini top because I am already gifted--- as Cari always say.

I also prepared towel and shades because I am planning to lay under the sun. I already put sunblock... a lot of it, just in case we extend our time on swimming.

What happened yesterday, seemed already forgotten because no one asked of it since this morning.

After our breakfast, there's a doorbell ding that makes us all confused, but when Cari stood up excitedly, I don't need to ask who's in the other side of the door.

And I was right. Cari reveals Ryan from the other side. And he kissed again Cari on her cheek. That makes my mood from yesterday rose.

"Are you ready, guys?" Cari asked excitedly.

"Wow! Cari, kindly enlightened me... 'cause I wasn't informed that Ryan is now already a part of our group!" I started as I stand and crossed my hands over my chest. I heard Cari gasped from my sudden outburst. "The last time I checked, Ryan... you were friends with Alex and Jack .. and not with Cari. Are you sure you're not being mistaken? Because the game you two have been playing was already ended yesterday. So.. you don't need to play your role here as if you two were really dating."

"Ahmm... Rian-----"

"Yes, Cari? You want to say something?" I know I am already a bitch right now.

"Ahmm..."

"What?" I snapped. "Unless you really are dating!" I raised again my eyebrow. Then to my not so surprised.... she nodded her head.

"I knew it!" I grabbed my things annoyed from the couch. "Let's go, guys!" I didn't wait for them to answer, I already marched to the door. Cari tried to grab my hands, but I swatted her hand and walked faster.

Gavin take my bag when he's walking on my side. We entered the elevator silently and I pressed the GF button and closed the stainless door.

I'm not mad at her, but I am mad at her damned game. She's playing as our cupid, but she was the one who caught the arrow she threw. And she's falling for Ryan, I knew it. Knowing Ryan's reputation as a great womanizer and a certified manwhore like his bestfriend, I can't trust him with her. She's very precious to me. She's like my sister that I didn't have, and I don't want her to get hurt and trapped to a relationship that has no guarantee of a happy ending.

I know I am being overprotective... and judging Ryan's intention with her. But, can you blame me? Since I've met Ryan, I've known him of not committing into a relationship. He doesn't do romance. He just fucked!

Maybe... maybe if he can prove himself that he is worthy of Cari's heart and he will prove that he can love her the way she deserves.. maybe we can start to trust him.

Heading out to the beach, Gavin grabbed my hand so I stopped in front of him.

"What happened?" he asked concerned.

I sighed and decided to tell him what is bothering me.

"Hey, honey. I know you're concerned, and so I am. She's our bestfriend, but she's happy. She's happy with him."

"But he's a great womanizer!"

"Everybody knows that. Don't you think Cari didn't know about it?"

"She knew! I told her, before she started that fucking game! But she didn't lis-----"

"She didn't listen? Because she uses her heart not her brain. Remember in your psychology class-----"

"That the brain gets a little break in controlling our heart, because it will actually beat all by itself."

"Yes. And the heart contains a little brain in its own, and it doesn't do the thinking."

"But there are some communication between the heart and the brain! Neurological communication, or the nervous system-----"

"You're right. But that communication doesn't mean that the heart is thinking for itself."

"But-----"

"And.... the brain does not tell the heart to beat. It will actually beat all by itself. It's something in the heart called automaticity... meaning, even the heart is disconnected from our brain, it will continue to beat.. something called intrinsic heart rate."

"But-----"

"Rian, I already explained to you that-----"

"Fucking sake, Gavin Montero! Will you let me speak for once?" I narrowed my eyes on him and placed my hands on my hips.

"Ohh... I'm sorry."

"First of all, we're talking about Cari and Ryan's situation and not what our psychology class lessons years ago!

"I know, that's why I am explaining it to you. In other words, Cari is already an adult. Trust me, she knows what she is doing. Let her fly and test her wings. If the winds broke one of her wings and she falls, we will be here for her. We will catch her before she falls hard to the ground."

I shook my head, remembering what has he said yesterday. "So, what happened to your words.. that 'you will be one of those who will kick their ass' plan? They're failed!"

"Yes, I said that.. but if they failed. And since they're not, I won't kick their pretty ass."

"And how did they succeed?"

"Because honey, their plan was to see your husbands reaction. And they got it! He was so... so... jealous!"

"He's not!" I said firmly.

"Tell that to my ass."

"Let's just go back to our main topic!"

"Honey, let her make her own decision. If she cries in the end, I swear I'm gonna cover her mouth with duct tape and put her in a sack. And I will make sure that I'll feed her heart to the dogs, just to remind her that once in her life, she's been so stupid!"

I can't help myself not to laugh.

"You're so brutal!" I said while laughing so hard.

Maybe Gavin was right. No. He's really right. I'll talk to Cari, but not now. I'm still mad at her for keeping this as a secret.

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