43 Ruby's Band

[Tuesday, After School]

"Why am I doing this again?" I asked as I was forced to wait with Ruby.

"Because when I came with you after the performance you said that you owed me one."

"I don't remember saying that."

"Eh, Maybe you did, maybe you didn't."

After school Ruby decided to drag me away and force me to come to the after-school band. Apparently, they are down a few members and want me to help. I guess I do owe her one from the performance.

We arrived in the music room and Ruby introduced me to the rest of the members. Almost all of them were in the younger years, mostly Year 8 and Year 9, with there being a large majority of typical geeky-looking people. I'm not saying I look better but these guys are a full stereotype for a band member, I'm worried that some of them might start to have an asthma attacks.

"Alright. So now that introductions are out of the way, let's start with the usual practice. I've already given Owen the music and he will fill in for us. He may look useless but he is surprisingly talented when it comes to playing multiple instruments."

What did she just say?

"He also may look dumb but he has some good knowledge of every instrument so he is actually very valuable to us. I've been trying to recruit him for years but he refuses to join."

"That's because you are here." I muttered.

"I'm just going to pretend I didn't hear that. Hehe."

It seems like Ruby is a completely different person at this club. I knew she was the leader and took control but it seems like she doesn't want to expose her witch nature to the younger years who all seem to be looking up to her like some sort of goddess.

I've even noticed some of the younger boys haven't been able to take their eyes off her. They've also been glaring at me for some reason.

"Ok, Owen. Would you like to warm up with the rest of us?"

"No thanks. I'll warm up on my own."

I could see that honest Ruby was trying to break through, her eyes were twitching through the smile she wore.

"Ok then. Let's all warm up. We shall leave him be."

The group all gathered around and started warming up. There was a mixture of instruments that you would typically find in an orchestra or band. As well as a few odd choices like the didgeridoo. I didn't even know our school had a didgeridoo.

From what I could hear about the warm-up they weren't the worst sounding. They've all got experience with their instruments. Some of them sound better than me, which isn't hard.

Ruby was preparing her violin instead of her voice or the piano.

Turns out she also plays the violin. I knew she liked to push herself and was extremely talented when it came to music but at this point, I don't know how many instruments she knows.

Just by practising some simple scales all the eyes were on her. It kind of makes me want to show her up but that would draw attention to myself.

"Ok. Is everyone ready? Owen?" Ruby asked as she stood at the front of the class, leading, as the violinist.

"Yup. I'm ready."

We played the piece that was given to me. It was rearranged and modified greatly but it sounded familiar to Tchaikovsky. The group together sounded really well. I was worried that everyone was going to mess up but everyone managed to follow and keep up with Ruby perfectly. She beautifully played as the lead violinist and struck everyone's note perfectly without any complaints. Except. Something doesn't seem right.

"Do you want to do that again?" I asked

"Again? That's strange for you to ask. Shall we go all go again, everyone?"

"No, just you. I want to hear you play it by yourself."

"Huh?" Ruby was equally as surprised as she was annoyed. "V-very well."

Ruby began playing her parts from the beginning from start to finish without interruption. The band was mesmerized by her skill and all eyes were locked on her unable to miss a beat.

"Well? Why did you make me do that?" Ruby asked.

"Hmm." I sat there thinking about what it was that felt off. I was trying to recall how it sounded with the whole band, but couldn't quite remember what was different. Each note felt the same, but the notes felt almost unpolished, if not sloppy.

"Ok. One last time. This time just me and you." I said.

"Huh? You finally want to do a duet with me?" Ruby's fake persona was slowly creeping away when she realised that she was finally getting something she has wanted for ages.

"Just this once. I'm doing this for me. I hope you'll pay me back afterwards."

"Pay you back? For what?"

I let out a heavy sigh before I ran out of energy to speak. "Let's just go."

The two of us played together and for the most part, it sounded perfect. But once we got halfway through I started to realise what was wrong. I kept going to see if anything would change but I knew it wasn't going to. The keys on the piano were bouncing along with her notes, but it was precisely the dynamics that were causing the problems. It felt as though she was trying to outshine me, but more importantly, it felt as if she was shying away.

"Ok. I want to ask you something. What are you thinking about whilst playing?"

"Huh? Well, the piece obviously?"

It was clear to me she wasn't thinking about the piece, I know about her past and what motivates her. The problem isn't her playing exactly. The problem comes from her feelings and why she is the way she is.

I just wish I could tell her without hurting her feelings.

"Ruby." But I suppose I have to let her know. That's the type of person I am, even if she hates me, this is for the best. "Your playing is amazing. I know that you've been playing for years and you try your hardest to play the best you can. I know why you love Music and why you perform. I know about your family and I know about your father. It can be heard in your playing. The feelings you have allowed you to create such emotion but you shouldn't blame yourself. No matter what, don't blame yourself."

"What do you mean..." She said as her voice started to diminish.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is, that you don't need to keep playing the violin if you don't want to..."

Ruby's face sank down as she lowered the violin in her hands.

Ruby was trying so hard to keep positive. She was biting her bottom lip to stop herself from crying. I didn't feel good about telling her this but it was the truth. The accident that happened with her father has had a huge effect on her. More than she knows.

"I...I...I k-know… I d-don't blame myself…" Ruby was standing there as the band looked at her. They didn't understand what was going on but they didn't need to. They just saw her as perfect, and this wouldn't change that.

"O-ok… let's… let's have a five-minute break." Ruby ran out of the class as quickly as she could. I sat by the piano and was approached by several young boys in the club. Most likely members of her fan club.

"Why did you say that?"

"Did you make her cry?"

"Some friend you are."

"You are better off leaving. She clearly doesn't want you here."

Coming from these random strangers these words meant nothing to me. I said what I did because it was constantly holding her back. There may come a day when she decides to give up doing music. She loved her father very much. I remember our first meeting and everything she told me about him, without him she wouldn't be the person she is today. Her passion and determination to succeed in music come from him.

Even if I stop playing I wish for her to continue.

If there comes a day when Ruby wants to give up playing, I would try everything I could to make sure she stays. I just wished she would be happy with the instruments she plays.

# # #

I waited around an hour before Ruby returned. During that time I managed to organise the class and practise with them. Even if they didn't like me they could put up with me for Ruby. I would say I did a better job than she could ever do. But, by the time Ruby returned the class had all left.

"Everyone has already left, I thought I would wait for you." I said.

"Ah, I see." Ruby's refused to make eye contact with me.

She went around collecting various pieces of sheet music and cleaned up after the band. It seemed like she did a lot. She considers this place a second home, and I feel like I ruined it for her. I should say something.

"You know. I-"

"You're right." Ruby interrupted. "What you said early. You are right. I've known it for a while. Every time I play I think about him. Everything he did for me. I want him to stay a part of me. But because of that, I can't play properly. I get too emotional. Every time I think about it. I can't help but blame myself. He would still be here today, cheering me on and always rooting for me. Without him. I can only carry on what he left me. It's only with this stupid instrument..."

She glanced down with heavy eyes at the violin case, that I put away for her.

"You're probably going to insult me or call me stupid so go ahead."

Ruby was on the verge of crying, she didn't want to show me any weakness so she tried to hide her face with her hair.

"I don't think it's stupid." I said. "Your feelings aren't stupid. I first got into music because of a similar reason. I was devastated when it happened, but I was never as close to them as you were to your dad. I can't imagine losing someone like that. But, I think you are amazing. You're extremely talented in everything you do, and you try your hardest at everything. Whilst I just laze around and do nothing all day. Unlike me, you deserve the grades you get. You are something that I only hope to achieve."

Oh, crap. I just realised what I said.

Ruby's face turned bright red, as did mine.

"I-i didn't mean that in a romantic kinda way. I meant your passion. Yeah, your passion. I hope to achieve your passion. hehe"

I said flustered, my face burning as I could feel the heat off of it.

"Ah. Yes. My passion, haha. That's what I thought you said." Ruby was equally as embarrassed, not that I blame her.

Both of us went red from awkwardness and turned away from each other. How could I say something so embarrassing?

"Haha." Ruby turned around and started laughing, breaking the silence.

"Shall we go?" I looked over at Ruby who was smiling again. Something seemed different about it. I don't know what it was but it didn't feel like the fake Ruby from earlier. Seeing her soft smile like this felt weird. I wonder why?

"Yeah, let's go."

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