10 9 - Post fact

I wake up at the first morning light. The walls of the tent are all but still. Quiet wobbling plastic. Care is rocking back and forth on the other side of our small tent, littered with crushed beer cans. She doesn't see me peek. I want to say something, but I'm exhausted. I lie back and think, fall back asleep.

I rise up groggy some hours later. Care worms over in her sleeping bag, and hands me a sandwich from nowhere. I slip out mousily to snatch it. Peanut butter and bread. I'm famished, suddenly scarfing it down and chasing with bottled water.

"Thanks," I say. "Sleep alright?" I can see she didn't. I don't know why I asked.

"Yeah, alright." She stares off. "It's almost morning."

"Wow..."

"I, uh..." She looks off again, silent. "We should move onto some new spots and get the goods moving."

"Yeah... we should," I mutter, mouth full of dry bread. My eyes dart, struggling to see clearly, and for a moment, they're scared to look her way for too long.

"We'll find some kids or something, someone in bulk if we're lucky. Unload enough to make it worth the risk, make our dough, move onto the next step."

"What's that?"

She shrugs and groans, stretching. "More money. Probably still won't be enough... See what we can do and go from there. Money, money, don't die... then more money. Don't get caught. One step at a time." She rubs her paws over our treasure bag, stuffs it away beneath her sleeping sack. "Get rid of enough of that shit and we're golden."

"Yeah," I wipe my hands of crumbs. "Just need enough to get away safe."

"Yeah. Safe." She rolls her eyes. "We're safe when we're far, far away."

I rustle out of my bag and tell her we'll get there. And soon.

"I think we'll go back to the kids that got us in that party in the first place," she says. "If they got out, they'll be in the usual spot, with the same connects."

"I don't know," I go. "They weren't good to begin with, Dave and the others. What if they're mad at us this time after last night? What if they got caught and made a deal with the cops? What if they just wanna rob us?"

Care scoffs. "If schoolkids are mad, let 'em be. They're not gonna do shit. We had nothing to do with the party getting busted and we aren't snitches. If some of 'em got put away, oh well, less idiots in my face. Whoever's left we can deal with. Find an in."

"They don't know we can be trusted, and I don't trust them," I protest. "Maybe we can find Jackie. She seemed trustable."

Care scoffs. "Jackie was nice for sure, but she's either locked up or hiding out, I'll tell you that. I don't know about trustable, but she ain't dumb enough to show her head the day after. I wouldn't expect to see her again anytime soon." She sighs. "Fine though, it's the weekend, we'll have to find somewhere other than the school. But I'll tell ya, kids are all we got. They're dumb and easy to trick, and they're less likely to know all the wrong people we're trying to stay away from. We go to some bigshots, we'll probably end chained up in a basement. This is the only lead we got if we want a chance of keeping our heads on our necks." She wrings her hands around her neck.

I wince. "But we can't be too careful, even if it's just kids."

"This is careful as it gets, the way I see it." She throws her arms up. "Only so many ways to ditch a bunch of drugs that just fell in our lap. People kill for this shit! There are people who'll kill you for just five bucks. Think about that."

I rub my forehead with breadcrumbs. "I know..."

"Don't stress," she yawns. "It'll be easy-peasy. Avoid spots like that idiot party, maybe get lucky by landing a big buyer, maybe have to dish it out to a few small people- takes longer, but eh. Either way, we stay outta trouble, do our business, we're golden."

"What about Matty wanting to get you back?"

"Matty's had to have put out word on us, sure. Doesn't necessarily connect us to the shit we're unloading. We're just another pair of no-namers doing our thing. No connection to any big-shots. That's what counts. No cops, no one important, we're good."

"I trust you." The words stick in my throat.

"Thanks. Means a lot. I've got some experience, but this ain't exactly my specialty."

"Could've fooled me. You're definitely special," I say, trying to brighten the mood.

She finally smiles a little. "Guess so. Hope so. Well, round up what you need and let's go. I'll get the rest of the stuff."

I nod and search around for my bra, my sweatshirt, my pants, my everything... She tries not to pay attention. She's already got her shirt on.

Walking down some rundown suburbs. Gold and red leaves like fire fall and flutter over everything, sailing across the ground in scattered gusts, littering cement and asphalt, filling black rusted gutters. I pull up my jeans, unzip my hoodie. It's a little warmer today. Care trods beside, just a little ahead. She seems determined but distant. I'm sore and unsure, my body weak and frazzled. I look at her back, occasionally seeing her denim jacket and tied up mess of yellow hair in double.

These streets are quiet. I look around anxiously for early morning traffic, for police. Care looks back a few times, catching my wandering eye. "Whole town's probably at church," she jokes. "Maybe you'd like to join 'em."

We veer off from out in the open, meandering through narrow thicket trails.

Care snags some brush and trips on roots. "Damn it, I'm gonna break my ankle. I don't wanna tear these new clothes!"

"You're wearing shorts and stockings. Maybe you should've stolen more practical stuff from the store."

"Meh! Gotta look good. Enjoy the weather while it lasts. Not like I didn't get warm stuff too. We could live a whole winter in those jackets back at the tent. I wonder how we even got those puffy fuckers out of there with all the other stuff..."

"Probably because the security cop was more worried about turning us into sex slaves than watching the store," I remind her morbidly.

Care looks down, watching the ground as she walks. "And then the great Dryden pops out of nowhere to turn his head into mush and saves the day... like that thing in old plays where a hero comes out of nowhere at the end of the story and just rescues everything."

"Not much of a hero," I comment.

"Yeah, that's Piercing for ya. One shark's mouth into another's."

"Why did we go with him anyway?" I walk up beside her and see her face is sad and low. "Did he make us go?"

"Yeah- well, no. I mean, he offered. There weren't a whole lot of options. I was just thinking of the dead cop there. And you. Dryden looked like he knew what to do, so..." She gets red in her chilly cheeks. "So I'm stupid, I trusted a stranger a little just because he saves our lives. It's not like you were all there to vote no. Do you even remember what happened?"

I rub the sore back of my head through the hood. "I don't know. Not a lot. It's like everything just went black until we were back at the house. Even then I was still..."

"Hrm... don't worry about it, hon." She massages my shoulder with a light hand. Images stream of lost night. Writhing bodies. Electric pulses and watery tears. Internal heat. Explosion. The universe turning to ice.

"I know you've got some stuff going on up here." She pats the back of my head where it's tender and I wince, seeing double again. She frowns and her arms drop to her side. "I've seen it a lot in people in my field... Not just the workers, either. The silent dirty-work guys with no names and no words had it too. Thousand-yard stare, they call it in war. Shellshock. Something happened to you. Something bad..."

Her voice fades and shadows grow around like morning turning back to dark. Something happened... Those city street memories invade my mind's eye, black buildings and scattered streetlights glowing green, foggy gold windows watching like eyes. There's someone beside me. He is young, but feels much older. His hair is gold and fire. He says a name but it's muffled. He's talking to me. The noise grows from nothing. Cold wind through alleys, cars whooshing, street bustle in the distance as his voice appears. "Are you ready?" it asks, and the city falls away, buildings turning into empty streets into shifting forest around us.

"Are you okay?" Care asks. We're stopped, my head down. Her hand touches my shoulder and I whip around, her wrist turned over her back and her hair falling over her face, staring at the ground, my knee twitching to strike. She fidgets and my grip tightens. She goes silent and still. I look down with robotic eyes. My face and heart shrink and I loosen, release. She falls to the dirt.

"I-I'm sorry..." I plead as she watches the ground.

She turns her eyes up, gleaming with a cocky smile. "Badass!" she exclaims nervously, rubbing her wrist and elbow.

We move again, side by side. "You're a fucking machine, man! Fuckin Terminator Bruce Lee!"

She notices my head is low and silent.

"I mean, uh, anyway, do you even remember fighting Dryden?"

I nod, pursing my lips hard.

"I mean, that shit was out of this world. It was seriously like something from a movie. I didn't even know where I was or what was going on, but I could see your blurs going at it. Next I remember, you're picking me up- I think you said something- but all I can think is 'She won.' You won something, whatever it was. You beat the bad thing. That's what it's all about, winning. How did you even do it?"

"I don't know..." I say. " I just knew I had to do something. There was no way out. No other way to get you out." She blushes and scratches her neck. "I stood there in front of him, and my body just took over. That's the only way I know how to say it. My body knew what to do."

She hums, piqued. "What was it like?"

"I don't know. My arms went up to protect my head, my legs changed position. My head went low. My brain started calculating places he'd aim for, how he'd hit with the stick or his fist, where he'd guard when I attacked. I read small movements."

"Just like that? Popping into your head? From nowhere?"

"It just seemed like from somewhere... or maybe it was nowhere... or common sense." I think back. "We're both tall, but he's taller, and his weapon won't work close range. He wants to keep distance, but he expects me to do the same because I'm afraid of getting hit. He thinks I'll wait for an opening while he hacks away at me. But I don't do that. He takes the first swing. The baton's flexible, it wraps around my arm just for a split second. Takes longer to recoil than a club or blade. Bruises me down to the bone but I catch hold of him." I rub my forearm. It aches. My head aches.

"I don't know... I'm having trouble remembering it all... seems like all fast-moving blurs and images now. He fought like hell though. I'm surprised I'm still alive. Next thing I remember clearly, I'm standing over him. He's looking up. His eyes are all pain and murder, bloodshot and teary... The worst part is I can't shake the thought that he'd do it all to me too, if he could do it all over. I knew it.

"My hand clenches the stick. My heart is racing for just a split second. My hair is matted to my face with spit. That cop's smashed-in skull flashes through my head like a siren. My arm raises for the final blow. Dispatch him. Send him to Hell. But I looked at you and all the killing instinct drained away. I run to you, grab you and all the shit I can fit in the bag. I don't even know how I thought of that stuff when I was so scared for you. I was still on autopilot. He's spitting murder while I lead you out, even when one stomp to the head could've ended him. He didn't beg for mercy. He just wanted to kill me. Maybe he wanted me to kill him too."

"W-why... didn't you just, you know... finish it?"

I exhale deeply. "I just had to get you out, Care."

"But you said it yourself... one stomp... coup de grace... put him out of his misery."

I stop dead and sit on the path, watching the tangled, dying weeds jostle in the wind.

"I don't... I didn't want to. I didn't want him in misery. I didn't want to hurt him. I just wanted you to be safe." I inhale and slowly my head stops spinning. "Care, I don't want to be a killer."

She's silent. She reaches for me and I pull away but slowly relax. She rests her hand on my bone-bruised forearm and I wince.

"That's where he hit you," she realizes. "Sorry."

I'm silent, blank-minded.

"Listen hun, you're not scum like these people. I mean, sure you've got the crazy moves from outer space, and you're a little, you know," she whistle-blows and taps her knuckles on her head. "But you're the best person I ever met. You're my best friend and guardian angel. Everything you do- everything we do from here on out is just for us to get out of here alive, get somewhere that isn't so fucked up, you know? We've been through a lot. Don't you think we deserve that?"

I scoff, then smile. "Yeah."

"Yeah." She lifts me up. We start walking again together peacefully.

"Still shoulda killed the fucker though."

I snicker, then start thinking again. "Probably... Maybe he died anyway."

"Maybe..."