8 Chapter 8: Vows Unspoken

It was almost two in the morning by the time they reached the long winding driveway that would take Sera up to the main house of her mother’s vast estate. Lonny parked the car in front of the wrought iron gates. She waited for him to put in the code, it had never been changed. But he didn’t move, he just sat staring forward, his hands gripping the steering wheel tightly.

Sera spent the ride from the diner contemplating all the awkward and horrible words that would surely fly between them. She mulled over their past, the fighting, the accusations, the deep betrayal and hurt. She couldn’t bring herself to initiate the conversation. Besides, Lonny didn’t seem ready to talk after their disastrous reunion in the diner, no thanks to one devious Findor who’d done everything in his power to throw fuel on an already blazing fire.

Sera twisted her hands in her lap as she stared out at the now pouring rain. The weather was as dismal as her mood.

The scent of Lonny, his car, his clothes, it was all so familiar that Sera allowed herself a brief moment to bathe in the nostalgic essence of the past. But all that had turned to dust now, her feelings, her hopes and desires for a life with him…gone.

Her eyes slid to the man in question. He seemed to be thinking along the same lines. His mouth was tense, a grim and unapproachable air incasing him. He was in deep thought. She felt as if she should explain the situation with Zane, but then she remembered the hurt he caused her. How he lied to her.

She straightened her spine with an annoyed huff and reached for the door.

“Sera.”

His voice hit her like a speeding train. It was low and filled with longing.

She raised her eyebrows and slowly turned to look at him, a cool detachment plastered across the heartbreak she wished to conceal.

“Who is he?” His quiet voice sounded worse than screaming to her ears.

“Does it matter?” she scoffed.

He met her gaze suddenly with his piercing stare, “To me, yes.”

“Not that I owe you an explanation, at all, but he’s a client. Just as I said. I would prefer not to repeat myself in the future,” she huffed.

He nodded carefully and frowned down at his hands. “Noted.”

“Was there something else?”

'Like maybe a hidden explanation or a sincere apology?' She added in her head.

“I missed you,” he murmured softly, his confession was the most ironic caress.

Before she could respond with a snarky retort, he turned his eyes on her. She felt her chest ache in response. The pain she carefully concealed for these last five years came raging back to the surface.

“Sera, I missed you every day.”

She tore her gaze from him, not willing to let him see how thoroughly his choices had destroyed her.

“You wouldn’t have had to miss me at all if you’d never done the unspeakable things you did.”

He nodded, squeezing his eyes shut as he rubbed his brow with, what she could only describe as, boiling guilt.

“Haven’t I paid enough for my sins? Will you never forgive me?” His voice was raspy with regret.

“It’s not about forgiving you, Lonny,” she sighed with frustration as she pushed her silken hair back off her face. “It’s trusting you I have an issue with.”

“What can I do? How can I make it up to you?” He watched her like a riveting piece of film.

“I don’t know if you can-”

“Sera, please.” He reached for her hand, twining his fingers through hers as he brought her palm up to his lips. He rested his mouth there, his eyes closed as he squeezed her fingers tightly. Was he praying?

“What happened? Why did you do it?” she asked as she forcefully pulled her hand away from him.

“I…don’t have the answer you want to hear,” he admitted, still staring at her hand. He turned his body towards her with need, his eyes never leaving her face.

“Out of all the people in this city, I thought it was you,” she whispered, her voice breaking with emotion.”I thought you were different than the rest.”

“Sera, I am-“

“You’re not!” she yelled, as tears flung themselves onto her cheeks in worship. “You were my best friend, the only one I could see myself enduring, sharing this life with, and you betrayed me!”

“I swear, Sera, if I’d known what this would cost me, I would have never-“

“That’s not good enough. You hurt a lot of people. I dealt with my own heartache, but those you stole from? You ruined so many lives. Destroyed families, small businesses, children’s futures. And for what? Tell me,” she demanded, her eyes light with fire, blazing at the injustice.

Lonny had to physically restrain himself from reaching out and taking her into his arms. His thoughts fled to the last time she let him hold her, just before his initial arrest. It was the first instance that she looked at him as more than a friend. She even let him taste those wondrous lips, just once, before it was all taken away.

Now he had nothing but broken memories.

Lonny slammed his fist into the steering wheel, once, twice. Slamming, he was always slamming against both the real and invisible bars of life.

Sera felt the tears slip down her neck. She waited. Lonny took a deep breath.

This was it. His next words would define their future.

“I did what I had to do.”

As much as she fought against it, she couldn’t stop her heart from breaking one more time. Sera let out a sound of disgust, of utter disappointment, as she turned and flung open the car door. The chilly rain was pounding mercilessly. Sera turned back to look at her fiancé once more.

“Let me make this clear. Our 'arrangement',” she stressed the word, “is nothing more than that. I will keep my promise. I will marry you, but I do not love you. And until you can own up to what you’ve done and find some real remorse, you will be nothing to me but a contract.”

She shut the door in his face before he could protest.

Lonny watched her walk away, one more time. His jaw ticked once. Just once, before the steering wheel turned into the face of that prick from the diner. And Lonny’s only outlet was to relentlessly battle his car instead.

'What was he to her?'

Slam.

'Why did they seem so comfortable together?'

Slam.

'Did she want him? Love him?'

Slam. Slam. Slam.

Lonny ignored the blood pouring from his freshly ripped open knuckles as Sera disappeared into the forsaken night. He sat there a long while contemplating the horror he endured, only to find his way back to her, and to lose her. Again.

He waited years for this night, he’d dreamt about it obsessively. There was no way he was going to give up on her now.

His first order of business was to eliminate the competition.