1 Confession #1: Prologue

Erin. Dark hair, dark eyes, soft laugh, wide smile. Damn cute sweater and the way she wears it. Damn mysterious eyes that regards everything with wonder and curiosity. Damn. Erin. Am I envious? No. Impossible. I'm not.

But she is indeed wonderful. Erin has always been with me since we've sat next to each other in middle school. I tried to ignore her a lot times, but she was really persistent with being my friend. I am thankful, anyways.

I looked away from her and observed the coffee shop we're at. There's only a few people here. Thank God. I don't like crowded places.

The walls are beige and there are a couple of paintings hanging here and there. The lights aren't too bright nor too low. Enough so one could relax and enjoy a nice cup of coffee. There's also a bookshelf at the far right corner, we wanted to sit close there but the seats there were already occupied when we got here.

"Did you bring an umbrella? It looks like it'll rain," Erin finally paid attention to me after about fifteen minutes of staring and observing outside. I blinked a few times before glancing outside. It does seem dark.

"No. The weather's nice when I left."

"Tsk, what are we gonna do now?" She really looked worried. I rolled my eyes.

"Why didn't you bring an umbrella, then?" With this, she pouted. Why do you have to look so fucking cute. . .?

"I forgot." She sipped from her coffee. "Anyways," Erin's going to change the topic now, knowing I'l blame her even more.

"I heard you have a suitor." I swear to God, I saw her eyes sparkle.

"I do not." I pushed my glasses up my nose bridge. "Who told you that?"

"Jeri told me." My brows furrowed. Who's Jeri again?

She must've sensed my confusion so, "You know, the one who used to like me? That became my friend? And you're blockmate?"

Oh. Him. "And you believed him?"

"Of course! Why would he make up stories? He also told me who." With this, she smiled at me. "Miel, hmm?"

Oh. Her. I closed my eyes. I'm not comfortable talking about this. I don't know why.

"She's not a suitor." I deadpanned then took a sip from my, now cold, black coffee.

"Jeri told me she's always waiting for you outside your building. Always bringing you lunch. Gave you a rose one time. Jeri also told me she's like your shadow, always following you behind. Isn't that courting?" Erin's fiddling with her hair now.

"I told her to stop." I answered. I took a bite from my cake and slowly chewed.

"Why?"

I swallowed. Sipped from my coffee. Then wiped my mouth. "I'm not gay."

I took another bite from my cake. I focused on chewing and listening to the soft classical music playing in the background. Who composed that again? Was it Chopin? Beethoven?

"Oh. Okay," There was a tinge of disappointment from Erin's voice that made me focus on her. She was drinking her coffee nonchalantly. Maybe I was imagining the disappointment part.

"How about you?"

"What about me?" Erin gazed outside again. Will you look at me, Erin?

"Got yourself a boyfriend?"

A look I couldn't quite identify crossed her face, then she mumbled something I didn't hear.

"Huh? What was it? I didn't hear, Erin." I picked up my phone to check what time it is.

"Nothing. I said, unfortunately I am single." I've put down my phone after checking the time and looked at her. When I looked at her, she rolled her eyes.

Erin gazed outside again. I observed everyone inside the café. Silence.

Why do I feel like I needed to say something?

Apparently, she felt the same way. We both looked at each other and opened our mouths to say something, at the same time. We both stopped before we could speak.

Silence. Again.

We stared at each other. I can feel my face reddening and my heart started to pound at a speed that's quite alarming. Why? What the hell's wrong with me? But I can't look away. I just sat there and stared at Erin's eyes.

Which, by the way, is looking at me in a way I can't understand. What's wrong, Erin?

"I hate your glasses." I blinked a few times then rolled my eyes. Of course, she's judging me.

"I didn't choose to have myopia, Erin." I looked away from her and stared at a painting instead.

"I hate your glasses." I sighed. Sometimes she acts like a grade schooler.

"I heard you the first time."

"You're supposed to ask me why." I can almost hear her whine. I rolled my eyes again.

"Okay. Why?" I asked, still staring at the painting. I love how the greens blended with the blues. It's so calming and the painting seems to have a life of its own.

"I hate your glasses because. . ." There was a five-second pause. I counted it. "It hinders me from looking at your eyes properly."

Everything stopped. The café which was filled with murmurs and soft music became silent. Atleast, for me. The painting that seems to move while you stare at it, just stopped moving. It's dead now. Or was it I that's dead? Am I breathing?

Oh. I stopped breathing. I forgot to breathe.

And so I breathe. I took a few deep breaths and finally looked at Erin. She looks pale. Is she sick? What's wrong?

"Do you like me?" I asked her. That seemed to shock her.

Erin closed her eyes and sighed heavily. "And what if I do?"

It's now my turn to sigh heavily. "Don't joke around, Erin."

She looked sad. I had the urge to apologize for what I've said. "I am not joking around." She said then got up.

"I like you." Well, shit.

"Since middle school." Shit.

"But I know you're not gay." Shit, Erin. I looked up at her. I opened my mouth to say something but she started talking again,

"Hay. I'm going now, Eli." She picked up her bag. Took one last sip from her coffee. Walked past me. Didn't even spared me another glance. I can hear how fast her footsteps are. She's in a hurry. She wanted to get away from me. As soon as possible.

I heard the door from the café open and shut. I stayed still. Everything started moving again. I can hear the murmurs again. I can hear the classical music again. I can't hear Erin, though.

Then it rained.

Shit.