In the beginning was the word

Forgive me Father for I have sinned,

It's just the men Our Father in Heaven made

I think he made them too perfect, not in that sense but you get me, don't you?

Especially this one, this guy in my chemistry class. He's just so perfect.

The thought of him, dear father, makes me want to drop to my knees and confess all my sinful deeds.

I don't know, Father but I think this one is deadly.

I should stay away, right? But when his shoulder grazes mine, his touch lingers till the next day, when he whispers in my ears, my heart beats faster in my chest. You can scoff padre because even to me this sounds stupid. It's almost as if my whole being notices when he is around. My thighs unwillingly spread and my breathing quickens.

Padre, what do I do?

The other day Padre, he came to me and asked if I would like a popsicle. I assumed he meant those sweet things, but what he gave me was sweeter, milky or should I say creamy. A bit soft and hard at the same time. I wanted to scream but I could only moan his name.

I opened my mouth wide, I took all he gave, ate, and left no crumbs. Am I a bad girl, Padre? Do you think God is angry with me?

I mean, all I just did was have a popsicle. He can't be now, can he?

Okay, he probably would be, because it wasn't just that day alone. I was in class, or we were in class, and the teacher made him my lab partner. It was time for the chemistry practical and as usual, I sat in the corner. He was gloved, I was too and something else was gloved. I, my insides around his two fingers.

"If you make a noise I will stop," he said.

Padre, to all that is holy and sanctified, I tried hard to scream, I wanted him to stop but not stop so I held it in. And just like how the filter paper became drenched and wet, I was too.

I didn't know what to do, he withdrew his fingers and with them, my reasoning he took.

All my thoughts, my mind, and my head were filled with the thoughts of him alone.

How do I fight this, how padre?

'Keep yourself holy, keep yourself pure, keep yourself a virgin', these are promises I made and I cannot fulfil them.

The day we met, it was sunny, all was dry but not everything, not everyone and certainly not me…

The worst thing you can do to anyone in any relationship is leave them without a reason, or without explaining yourself. Second-guessing myself because my parents decided to leave me in an orphanage home was the worst thing that ever happened to me, well, not until my grandmother decided to claim me and make me work like a slave.

I would work all day and run errands at night. I still wonder how I was able to escape getting raped or robbed.

My parents were devout Catholics, as is my grandmother. So for this reason, she decided to enrol me in a Catholic school, where I got a scholarship. The only clause is, it's a boarding school, so I have to stay in school until the holidays. Nothing made my grandmother proud, but for this she was grateful, at least I wasn't just useless, I was smart and that she banked on heavily.

The school was fun, I made friends with Candace Smith and Camille Pissarro. Or they made friends with me, whichever swims your boat.

It's funny, they both have a C as the first letters of their names and I didn't. My grandmother said my parents were stubborn and she wanted them to give me the name, in her words "of a much better Saint" but my parents settled for Rak-El and I loved it. I love my name. Rak-El Alloe.

"Hey, El, it's today." Sighing heavily, I turned to Camille with a wide bored smile,

"Today? What's today?" I asked gently, feigning ignorance. Today's the day we get to mix up with boys from St. Gregory Memorial High. I've heard tales of those boys, and trust me, those tales are not nice. Well, not in the way you think of but I'd rather not go into it.

"Here we go again, the great pretender. You want to tell me you don't know what today is?" Cam looked at me with her brows raised in question. Trust me I hate when she does that, it's almost like she could see into my soul.

"Fine, I know what today is all about, but I do not care.", I replied exasperatedly.

Candace just smiled and shook her head, I bet she was tired already.

You see, my girls are beauty queens, not that I'm not but I do not like to see myself like that. My grandmother already thinks I'm proud because I got both my parents' looks and attitudes.

I would love to talk about myself right now but we need to prepare for the boys.

"Hey, let's leave guys. We need to get reThis this was Candace talking. I thought she wasn't interested in this.

Packing up our books and backpacks, we left for the hostel while chatting and laughing loudly.

It was time to get ready for class and we haven't even settled down in our beds yet. We finally managed to make it down for our lessons but as usual, we, or rather I met with an annoying voice and an equally annoying teacher.

I can't be the only one who hates girls who usually sound whiny or moan when they talk. Dora - even though her name sounds whiny- is one of those girls you'd wish never existed in your world. She tried too hard and that just made things harder for her but somehow, the teachers loved her, especially our science teacher.

He would always fawn at her, and try to please her. I wondered how a grown man would do that but hey there is nothing the power of breasts cannot do since Mr Vince could never get his eyes off her chest.

"Science is like a way of life," Me Vince would start, "it allows you to understand things better. It is a…" our science teacher would keep going, talking about science while staring at a particular girl, who obviously wouldn't let him get his eyes off her. Her shirt was always open, with about two buttons down; her skirt was the shortest, and could not help but admit that it smelled nice. She does.

I guess it's no wonder she turns heads when she walks by, mine included.

How nice would it have been if her beauty, body and nice smell were the same as the words that came out of her mouth? She isn't just whiny, but stupid wouldn't begin to describe her.

I could hear Camille's voice as she called out to me, I jumped instantly, turning to her and quirking a brow questioningly.

"You're thinking about Dora, right?", she asked.

My friends knew how much I despised this Dora girl. Before I met her again in school, we were neighbours, and I suffered for it.

I was about to reply to her when that whiny voice spoke,

"Mr Vince, we are meeting with boys from St. Gregory's later right?" She asked with a stupid smile.

Mr Vince, who was already wrapped around her little finger, smiled sheepishly and replied, yes, Dora, more as he whispered it. It sounded like or to me.

"Mr Vince,'' I called out to him angrily, needing to remind him he was still in a room filled with underage girls who have the body of an adult.

"Yes?!" He all but snapped at me.

"Are we meeting with them or competing with them? I think you should have at least clarified that first." Yes, my reply was sassy but who am I if not sassy and cocky.

"Yes, you are competing with them, Rika, but as you can see, I'm your science teacher, not English." the teacher replied to me. Rude was my thought.

"It's Rak-El," I tried to correct him but the man already turned his face and smiled back at the busty young girl.

I was looking forward to the competition and I wasn't going to let Dora and her pet teacher get in my way. I probably shouldn't have been so enthusiastic about it. Who knew my world would be turned upside down and inside out?