Chapter One - Dhalia

It had been nearly two years since Dhalia had been diagnosed with cancer. She had thought she was going to die. And soon, she had wanted to die. She just wanted it to be all over. The chemotherapy, the treatments, the check-ups, the stares. Oh, how the stares slipped through into the cracks of her weakness like ink….their delicate fingers of mockery slowly tightening around her neck, and her heart bled with the stains of her pain.

She stared at the passing scenery through the translucent window. The fog blurred the surroundings, but she could make out the rusty black metal gates as they opened slowly. She heard the hinges shouting in protest, and leaned back into the seat, crossing her arms. Look how pathetic you are, Dhalia, she said to herself, looking at her reflection on the window. The reflection that stared back with piercing gray eyes. That quiet girl with long, blonde hair. Wearing a wig to hide how ugly you look, she sneered. You're a freak, Dhalia. What are you doing here? Why are you pretending you're normal?

Normal only went so far, of course. Classes were canceled, due to their annual Autumn field trip. And, being the peculiar, naive little girl she was, Dhalia remained seated as her classmates rushed out of the school bus, anxious to get moving after a long hour of sitting down. She waited patiently until there was nobody left but her, and her teacher. How disgraceful they are, she thought, her eyes following them like a predator to prey. Like a pack of wild animals. Wolves are much better if any, of course.

"Miss Hartnell, will there be anyone to drive the bus back?You drove us here, after all." Dhalia glanced behind them at the receding yellow dot. She tilted her head, listening to the voice that was said to be hers. The voice with a slight accent she had forced upon herself. The voice laced with delicacy, just as she had practiced. If they see beauty on the outside, she reasoned, what would drive them to look inside the rose for thorns? Of course, they was vague, and-

"Oh, don't worry, nobody will hotwire the bus, or whatnot. I don't know the terms you kids use these days, but nobody would steal a school bus, let alone go and find one at a farm," the teacher replied absent mindedly, flipping through sheets of paper on her clipboard.

"Right,"she responded simply. It was for the better, actually. She might even be able to override the departing time. Oh, how she longed to stay out in the fields, in the forest, in the city, anything to stay away from her family. She'd manage, supposedly. Except for Danni, for obvious reasons. Her younger sister by sixteen seconds. But Dhalia would soon be wandering away through the pumpkin patches and apple orchards, alone with her thoughts.

Of course, even that daydream would be shattered, almost as suddenly as her carefully placed smile had dropped. This being upon, of course, hearing Miss Hartnell call out the names for their groups. She hadn't thought…really, she should have realized she wouldn't be able to be free for even a day. Stars forbid she actually enjoys herself for once. She really needed to stop it with her daydreams of freedom. Delusions, more as.

"And lastly," the teacher finished, "Beth, Cal, Clarity, Cooper, Danni, Dhalia, Emma, Frane, Gracie, Jaqui, Kiwi, Nadiya, Chase."

Dhalia sighed, a small graceful breath, and clutched her bag to her chest tightly. Could she not spend one day away from Danni? And her stupid obsessions with pride, equality, and rights.

It'll be okay, you can make it through the day, can't you, Dhalia? You better, how pathetic would you be if you can't. Typical, typical you. We both knew you were always the weak one.

"No, I'm not," she said aloud, walking steadily towards the others. She should stop talking to herself. She should stop responding. She should stop conversing and what is happening is she going insane? She had entered upon everyone arguing, the discussion revolving around who gets to decide where they'd go. She pulled out a lined notebook, where she documented…everything. She glanced at the first page, pausing briefly, before turning to a new, blank page. She wrote the date slowly, making sure to underline Friday the Thirteenth

She would have to remake a chart for each person and the details about them. If they were going to spend hours on end together, it would be easier if she knew more about them. It would be tedious work to recopy all her notes, due to the loss of her old notebook…. Many said she was bothersome, always listening to conversations and hovering on the sidelines, just…staring. She was calculating, she was reserved, but she wasn't nosy. She was just productive. Was it really a sin to want to know things?

But what worried her, was where had she misplaced her notebook? It could very well have fallen out of her bag at any given time, or been misplaced as another students. But why hasn't she found it yet? Why has it not been returned? It's locked…unless…

Dhalia knew worrying about the subject of the matter would not help, or manifest the return of her prized possession, but at no means would she want anyone at all to look at it. Her thoughts, her goals, notes, and calculations-not of numbers, but people…plans…her entire life. If someone read through all of that? She'd die. She would simply, just die.

"Alright, friends," Miss. Whatshername said cheerfully. "Ashleys group goes to the pumpkin patches, Jordans group to the apple orchards, and Beth's group to the corn maze. And don't forget to bring your phones to me."

"You've got to be kidding me," Cal muttered under his breath, following the others. Dhalia, however, saw this as an opportunity. Corn mazes meant getting lost. Getting lost meant time spent alone, which meant freedom. Her thoughts, racing against her mind.

She felt her hand twitch, slightly, which always happened when someone was staring at her. She glanced up quickly, and saw Clarity staring at her, and at the notebook in her hands. She blinked, freezing up for the barest of seconds, before giving her a small smile. Clarity looked startled upon being caught, offering a shaky smile of her own before quickly turning away.

An absence of phones meant no screen-zombies, mindless, unaware. No texting friends, posting selfies, making calls, endless scrolling. Perhaps this day wouldn't turn out so bad after all. She snapped her notebook shut, stepping in front, and led the way. Several times she had run out of space in her boxes, or messed up a name. But it would have to do, and Dhalia was sure she'd settle it out one way or another. It would work out, she told herself, tucking her pen back into the spiral bound wires of her notebook. It always does.