4 4. My First Therapy Session

I was discharged from the hospital in the morning. There were some side effects of the pills I took but it subsided by the night.

Dr. Williams came to see me and we discussed about the timings of my therapy session. She wished me good luck and after that I was on my way back home.

Monday arrived way too soon. My whole weekend was spent recovering and resting. I didn't even care about my surroundings and stayed in bed.

I was really anxious to meet with Dr. Williams. I was now waiting in her clinic to finish up with her client. I was early for my appointment.

The door opened and Dr. Williams escorted out her client. She greeted me and invited me in.

"So, how was your weekend?", asked Dr. Williams.

"It was good. I mostly spent it in bed, resting."

"Good."

"Let's get started. First of all, you should know that everything that you say here is confidential. I will try my best to create a safe space here. We can talk about whatever you want. Whatever has been disturbing you. This first session will just be getting to know each other and then we can move onto some heavy stuff. So, tell me about yourself." She asked with a smile.

"Well, you already know my name. I am originally from Ohio, Cleveland. My parents moved to New York when I was five. I am a single child. I am a qualified food stylist but I lost my job when...." I couldn't continue because I thinking about that incident brought back bad memories. I tried my best to not let the memories engulf me. There was a lump in my throat and I had difficulty breathing.

When Dr. Williams saw my condition, she came over to my couch and gently started parting my back and asking me to breathe. After a while, I calmed down. Dr. Williams later told me that what I just had was a panic attack. After that we moved away from that topic and we started talking about my childhood. She always diverted the subject when she saw that I was getting uncomfortable. She tried her best to make me feel comfortable and calm.

At the end of the session, she suggested that I should get a job as it would help to occupy my mind and time. It would also help to increase my self-esteem and confidence.

She also told me about the symptoms of a panic attack and how to tackle them.

After I left, I felt completely exhausted and drained even though we didn't talk about any of the heavy stuff and 'the incident'. It was stills a big step for me as I finally got help.

I went home and cooked for myself which I hadn't done in a long time.

I agree with Dr. Williams that I needed to get a job because my savings were dwindling and it would also help in my recovery. So, I decided to look for a job first thing in the morning.