First Entry
It was a sunny day when we met the first time. You were surrounded by your college friends while I was about to begin university life. I knew instantly that you're one of the popular teenagers while I'll just be part of the mob. I thought I used up all my luck when you initiated a conversation during the school party for incoming freshmen. Since then, you would acknowledge me whenever we run into the hallway. My romantic feelings for you grew as I did my best to suppress them. What can I do? I knew that my love would not be reciprocated not just because of the difference in our social status but also because of my cowardice. However, a girl can dream. Right?
Eric Kim. That's his name. Gifted with soft silken brunette hair, emerald eyes, high nose, fair skin and model-like physique, he excels in both academics and extra-curricular. Born as the third son under a family of politicians, it's a miracle that he's not so conniving as those expected of his lineage. His eldest brother, Carl, already works in the government while his second older brother, Felix, unexpectedly entered the Entertainment industry and is one of the most sought after actors currently. Based on my observation, his character is legit and not two-faced. How can I not fall in love more?
I'm Jasmine. Born as the eldest daughter of a middle-class family with two younger siblings - Jexter whose in high school and Daisy in primary school. Born with brunette hair and brown eyes, I have average height for my age and not-so-fair skin complexion. My hobbies include dancing, drawing and cooking. I'm blessed with friends but they are in other universities so I had to make new ones.
As my feelings for Eric grew, one day I wrote a confession letter to him with the intention to give it personally as soon as possible. I used one of my favorite nature-themed stationary letter. Making sure that the scent on the paper isn't overwhelming. Also, I chose the nature design because I think the other stationary with hearts would be too much for a guy. I wrote as cleanly as carefully as possible.
It took me one week to finish what I believe is the "right" confession letter. I did my best to make it short and concise but not like an essay test paper. It was hard, I dare say. Writing my feelings on a piece of paper using the appropriate words to describe this wonderful feeling. When the time came for me to give it to him, however, I kept missing my chance. I then wondered if those interruptions or disturbances were signs to not give my confession letter.
*****
"I wonder where he can be?" The first thing during my first break was to look for him. Lucky that I was able to find him in the library. I was about to approach him when he got called by his close male friends for a group study. When he noticed me, I nod at him and went the opposite way, far from him.
The next attempt, was interrupted because my teacher called for me to photocopy the teaching materials to be used for the upcoming class.
My third attempt ended in failure because when I was about to call Eric, a girl from his club reminded him of the preparations needed for the upcoming club activities.
During lunch, he was obviously surrounded by many people I dared not to call out and look for a quiet place to eat.
I decided to find him after school hours so that there'll be no disturbance to my confession. It was a big mistake because he ended up going home early because of a family emergency.
*****
I thought of giving the letter at another time but the opportunity never occurred. The confession letter was left in my bag either at the innermost part or inserted on the current fiction book I was reading. Days passed, I always missed my chance to the point that I forgot about it. I thought of using another method to confess so I consulted the internet. One would think that internet would provide the numerous answers but I was wrong. There were not enough ways mentioned and most of it are too hard for me to do. I just can't go to him and confess nor give him gifts since we're not close at all! Running out of ideas, I lost courage and didn't hope for more.
One day, I had a fight my younger high school brother, Jexter. In retaliation, he posted online my confession letter he found on the book he previously borrowed from me. It was too late for me to have it deleted because his friends already shared it to others.
*****
"How could you post such a private letter online?" I shouted towards Jexter.
"How would you feel if your favorite ice cream which you were looking forward to was eaten by someone else?
"But still, posting a private letter online for revenge for the ice cream? It's not the same level!"
"Revenge is meant to retaliate several times more than the initial action"
"You could have just eaten my share of ice cream."
"And allow you to continue stealing me share the next time? No way! I say, it serves you right!"
"But I'm your elder sister. You shouldn't have shared such private thing!"
"Lucky you didn't sign the letter Sis or else, far much worse fate awaits you."
*****
So I wasn't able to sign the letter despite my meticulous efforts. Should I consider myself lucky because I was clumsy? I don't think so! It will only be a matter of time that my school mates would find out that I was the author of such letter! I mean, I wrote his name and anyone could trace the picture to my brother and then linked it to me!
To my horror, one of Eric's female associates found the letter and re-posted the image in the school website. How many hours, days or weeks would it take before people can trace the letter back to me? Should I ready my transfer papers or wait for the hype to fade?
What should I do?